Made to feel guilty for taking time off work

[Barb20]

I am 26 weeks pregnant. I’ve had reduced movements this weekend and been to the assessment centre where they’ve booked me a growth scan for tomorrow morning just to check things are ok. I’ve told work that I won’t be in tomorrow morning but will be back after the scan and got no response but a thumbs up. Not the first time this has happened. I had Covid a few weeks ago and had a day off to monitor my fever, obviously being pregnant I was worried it would harm the baby. Got a response that just said ‘ok’.

For context it is a small workplace where we are all fairly close and my boss used to be really considerate of people needing time off and when I had my miscarriages last year was really supportive. However since about January she has been very uncaring and unprofessional about anyone having time off, e.g rolling her eyes their backs for being off ill, sending short/non supportive messages making it clear she is not happy when people have days off sick or looking after poorly kids. It makes me so scared to tell her about any appointments, any time off I need. This scan tomorrow is unexpected so obviously short notice but I have to go to it and I will always prioritise my baby over any job. I feel like crying to think that she thinks I’m skiving when I’m normally never off unless really unwell.

just needed to vent/see if anyone has experienced similar.

She sounds really unprofessional (have you flagged her behaviour with her senior or HR)
But how you respond to her behaviour is within your control.
She has sent a thumbs up and yes it would be nice to receive a more supportive comment, but I disagree this falls into "making you feel guilty" although her prior behaviour with others clearly doesn't help.
Ignore her and continue to prioritise your pregnancy. Keep a record of any bad behaviour on her part and share that information if it is accumulating

@SouthwestSis thanks for your response. I know the thumbs up doesn’t seem that bad but we used to have a really good relationship where she would have been a lot more understanding, at least said thanks for letting me know and I hope everything is ok or something like that. So the thumbs up is absolutely intended to be passive aggressive and make me feel bad.

I feel it’s worse as I’m a teacher and she makes us feel like we are letting the kids down by being off. I literally don’t know what I’m supposed to do, if I’ve been told by doctors I have to have an emergency scan then obviously I’m going to have it as soon as I can.

I guess it's the change in behaviour rather than the behaviour itself that you are noting. Maybe they have stuff going on themselves and don't have the bandwidth for the niceties they used to have. In my work thumbs up is used universally and is taken to mean "all ok" but it's been this way for a long time. When I had time off for sickness with pregnancy I often got this response but when I said I had an appointment with the epu I got a message from my boss who realised that this might indicate a problem but not from my HR contact who's much younger and without children so possibly didn't realise that it wasn't a routine appointment. Once I informed them of my miscarriage I got a heart felt response from both of them.
Maybe she hasn't twigged that this isn't some routine appointment?

My old boss used to reply to messages with K S. That used to grate on me - does OK really need abbreviating? S was there initial.