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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

i want to find out what sex is the baby is but Dp doesnt.............20 weeks scan is on thurs

29 replies

biglips · 21/04/2008 19:15

how does that work out???? as does the sonographer pass me a note? and does that mean i have to keep my mouth shut till i give birth???

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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MrsTittleMouse · 21/04/2008 19:18

Personally I take the attitude that the one who gives birth decides whether you find out or not. But I suppose that you could have DP leave the room first, and then she tells you. Can you really keep it quiet from DP for the next 20 weeks? Even when you're discussing names?

Original poster

biglips · 21/04/2008 19:21

yes i know its gonna be difficult not to give anything away and not to my DD too who is 3.5 yrs old.

OP posts:

FluffyDavis · 21/04/2008 19:22

I got the sonographer to write it down for me, but I think it would be very hard to keep it to yourself

Original poster

biglips · 21/04/2008 19:28

fluffy - did u keep it to yourself?

as i mean, i cant tell my mum either....eeekkk!

OP posts:

FluffyDavis · 21/04/2008 22:15

I actually hard it written down for a different reason. We didn't want to find out the sex of the baby but my mum was terminally ill and I wanted her to know what I was having if she didn't make it till the birth
I managed to last the grand total of about 3 hours before opening it!, it was burning a hole in my hand . Me and dh kept it a secret from everyone though so it can be done, it's just really hard not to slip up!

paddycat · 21/04/2008 22:45

My DH wanted to know last time round but I didn't, so they asked me to leave the room once the scan was over and told him. He did really well keeping it secret for the next 20 weeks and any time I thought he'd slipped up he just said how do you know I wasn't double bluffing?! In fact he scared me a bit - I'd had no idea he was such a good liar! Sadly our trust won't tell us this time round

Tommy · 21/04/2008 22:56

my friends DH "nipped out" before the scan to watch the cricket and so missed it. Friend not happy at all so found out sex of the baby and didn't tell him

Can't you just ask DH to leave the room?

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 22/04/2008 07:36

Did anyone actually manage to keep it from their DHs? I want to know and he doesn't, but I don't want to and him not know, so we won't (if you see what I mean)

CantSleepWontSleep · 22/04/2008 07:39

You know that they can't always tell don't you, so don't set your heart on finding out in case you can't anyway. I certainly wouldn't be able to keep something like that from dh - are you sure you would?

2point4kids · 22/04/2008 07:53

lol @ Tommys story.

Jordan found out and didnt tell Peter Andre according to the celeb mags

glitterstar88 · 22/04/2008 11:56

when i went for my 20wk scan when i was pregnant with my son, i didnt want to know, but my partner and all his family were desperate to know, but the sonographer wouldnt say unless i agreed to know what it was aswel.

sleepycat · 22/04/2008 11:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AHLH · 22/04/2008 13:09

DH wants to know, I don't, 20 week scan next week. Our compromises is that IFthe sonographer will let us know, then we won't tell anyone, just say it was "inconclusive".

FYIAD · 22/04/2008 13:14

I think you should not find out

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 22/04/2008 13:27

FYIAD
Why? I've seen you say this to someone else too - why?

StarlightMcKenzie · 22/04/2008 13:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

slinkiemalinki · 22/04/2008 13:36

I'm with Mrs TM on this one - if you want to know, get him to step outside. I guess you do have to keep quiet until the birth but I daresay curiosity will get the better of him!

izzybiz · 22/04/2008 13:38

I didn't find out with Ds but did find out with Dd, it made absolutely no difference to the feeling when she was born, you still get a surprise at seeing your LO for the first time!
Am going to ask again in 2 weeks with this one, DH doesn't get a say here! I'm carrying it for 9 long months!

solo · 22/04/2008 14:38

If you find out but daddy doesn't, you'll never get away with not letting it slip to him! I'd put money on it if I were the betting sort. I found out with both of mine and was glad to have done so. Good luck!!!

MrsTittleMouse · 22/04/2008 14:56

FYIAD - we have had so many threads on this one. I think that people just naturally fall into the "find out" or "don't find out" group, and there are so many good reasons for and against that there's no point convincing anyone that their opinion isn't the right one.

For what it's worth (not much!) I'm very glad that we found out as it gave us longer to bond with her, and when she was born it was all so traumatic that we wouldn't have had that wonderful special moment anyway. We had it at 20 weeks instead. As for people who think that the safe arrival of a baby (and the safe delivery for the Mum) isn't exciting enough - words fail me!

2point4kids · 24/04/2008 08:00

What did you decide - are you going to find out today?

sweetkitty · 24/04/2008 08:07

A close friend did this, her and her DH were all set to find out then he spoke to his Mum who convinced him he didn't want to find out, my friend was a bit so went to the private scan herself. I met her in the supermarket and she had a load of blue babygros in the trolley so I knew before her DH which I found a bit weird.

I've known with all 3 DDs and it's been great, this one due in July I feel like we have all bonded with her already, we are keeping her name to ourselves though but already in my head call her by her name.

I agree either you want to know or want a surprise, neither of which is wrong or right.

hatrick · 24/04/2008 08:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Flamesparrow · 24/04/2008 08:32

I don't think one should know and one not. I feel if you can't both agree, then no-one should know. No chance of letting it slip and spoiling it for the other then

2point4kids · 24/04/2008 08:58

Hatrick - are you telling people what flavour this one is or is it your secret for now?

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