Am I unusual for not having strong birth views?

[Mitsky]

I’m a fairly relaxed positive person day to day outside of pregnancy and seem to have carried this approach forward into how this baby gets out of me!

I feel like I should have stronger feelings about preferences but after a couple of years and multiple miscarriages as long as he / she arrives safely I’m really not bothered. I just found out in my final scan that it’s currently breech and did a mumsnet search to see loads of posts about how they’d choose almost anything else over a C-section, why would you put yourself through major surgery etc etc whereas my view is if that’s a safe and controlled way of getting it out then great!

Am I going to be a terrible parent because of my lack of conviction?!

I don’t think your view is unusual at all. Presumably people who don’t mind either way don’t have any need or inclination to post on the topic, so you won’t find a huge number of stories online.

If you're unusual then so am I <shrug>

My birth plan was basically "get them out as safely as possible, drugs fine, would prefer no instruments".

I was in the same position as you with my first and I felt exactly the same. I had read that it was extremely painful to turn them and they might turn back anyway and a friend had an emergency cesarean and a planned one for her second and she said the emergency was really traumatic and the recovery was harder. I knew I didn't want that and went for the elective.
The only consideration I didn't really have was that subsequent births would either have to be a cesarean or more difficult to have a 'natural' birth. You also should wait longer between children if you've had a cesarean.

Congratulations on your pregnancy!

I also just wanted them out safely. Unfortunately I ended up with an emergency C-section under general for my 1st so did request planned C-sections with the rest.

You have, in my opinion, a strong conviction that is the very best kind to have. 💐

I have friends with extremely strong birth views. I’ve always found them a little difficult to handle gracefully as I happen to be one who wouldn’t have gotten the opportunity to have those views even if I wanted to.

Our third child is 8 months old and his birth went absolutely nothing like I’d hoped for. So it was extremely good that I held those hopes very loosely. It became apparent that a “natural” delivery wouldn’t be safe for either of us, and I did have time to process and accept that I’d be having another c-section. (Our eldest arrived via very unplanned c-section, and it was a lovely experience overall, so I was mentally prepared for this - or so I thought.)

I was supposed to be able to enjoy the perks of not doing labor this third time. I thought how lovely, for the first time I won’t have to go through contractions, and unlike the first c-section I won’t be having the anesthesiologist put a needle in my spine between contractions!

Guess who went into labor four days before my scheduled c-section! Baby arrived - via c-section - ten days ahead of his due date. Nothing from that point went as planned either but all’s well that ends well and it was my easiest recovery either from c-section or vaginal delivery.

A determination to hold plans loosely is a very wise conviction.

I was fully expecting a medical birth, open to pain relief, epidural, induction, c section. I was meant to give birth on the maternity ward rather than in the midwife led unit.
My waters went and I was booked for an induction after 24h. What happened in the end was very different. I laboured at home until fully dilated having gone from 2-10 cm in 2h. I went into the midwife led unit, climbed straight into the birthing pool and she arrived soon after.

What ever you think it might be like could get different and open mind is a great starting point!

No of course not, you sound like you have a sensible approach, the outcome you want is a healthy mum and baby leaving hospital.
I would have been disappointed if one of mine was breech but also I wouldn't have put myself or my baby at risk by not having a c section

How will fretting help! At least you know baby is breech so you can consider the best options in advance, and discuss with midwife. If c-section seems the best option for you and baby, you can then prepare for that.

Nope, your lack of conviction probably makes you a better parent if I’m honest!! I know so many people who put themselves through a lot of stress because they were determined to parent and have their child be a certain way. My advice to people after my own birth plan went out the window was not to get too wound up having a plan and be open to everything. As long as you and baby are ok that’s all that matters

I lived in the developing world for a few years. Almost every family I knew had lost a child, and many of those I worked with lived hours from a hospital, meaning if things went wrong during labour, they probably couldn't get help in time.

I was back in the UK when I had DD. When it became clear that a c-section was going to be essential if I wanted her born alive, I was very grateful that was possible (both financially and practically). Yours is definitely the attitude to have.

OP I can’t comment on being relaxed and positive as I’m the most stressed negative person going but just wanted to say DC was breech at 36 weeks and I also accepted a C section with minimal fuss. Declined the ECV and the offer of a breech vaginal birth and didn’t even bother with dangling upside down off the sofa or whatever.

I also read all the same threads advising god knows what over major surgery and had comments in real life about how I should be trying to get baby to turn but I just couldn’t muster much panic over it. One midwife told me that if baby is breech at that stage there’s probably a reason and not much point doing anything about it which made me feel a bit better.

Although DC did actually turn themselves, despite me making zero effort and accepting my fate, the day before my c section but that’s a whole different thread!

Good luck!

If the scan shows breech position, I think you should definitely go for a c section. I gave birth vaginally with posterior presentation and wouldn’t go through that again.

I insisted on DH telling me too! After everything else being so rigid with the IVF etc I wanted that as my one surprise!

I think the term ‘birth plan’ is very misleading. Birth path, perhaps, in that you can choose where it starts but might not know where it ends.
I had a 5% chance of the baby surviving so my birth plan was whatever they think might work (it did). Nobody would be comforted to have had a ‘perfect’ birth if they didn’t take the baby home.

Great point. It should be called birth wish list 😅

Just after some reassurance. 10dpo, does my test look promising?

didn't mean to post here sorry!!

I think this is an oversimplification.

Flights to Australia cause urinary inconvenience, fecal incontinence, anal tearing, major abdominal surgery, permanent scarring, and death far less frequently than childbirth does.

It is not in only recent history that women didn't routinely die during flights to Australia.

Being relaxed about birth is rational.
Being concerned about it is also very rational.