Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Flip

Original poster

No heartbeat-surgical management or management at home?

13 replies

Alexandra84 · 20/09/2024 16:21

I’ve been for a scan today, and no heartbeat was detected.
At a scan two weeks ago, dates weren’t matching up, so it is not a huge surprise.
Im keen to complete the next steps as soon as possible.
Can anyone advise which is preferable? I have been given info on management at home with medication, or surgical.
Things currently in my head-surgery could be harder to access quickly as need to be given a date. General anaesthetic has its own side effects. Being in the hospital somehow makes this more upsetting. However, it’s done properly, and managed by medical staff.
At home: this seems less intimidating.
I have previously had a termination, sourced via BPAS, which I assume is the same as this. I took some very strong painkillers to ease cramps, and they thankfully made me sleepy, and it was all over without really being aware.
I have two other children, and really want to just mentally and physically move on to the next bit of our lives as quickly as possible.
TIA.

OP posts:

Spomb · 20/09/2024 16:29

I always opt for surgical. Had one naturally and it was painful and I hated the uncertainty of it. Luckily I was wfh, but was in my own and had horrible labour type pains.

Surgical was painless, they booked me in within days of confirmation of non-viable pregnancy, I’ve always been the one of the first to be seen (it’s day surgery), general anaesthetic is amazing as you wake up and it’s all done, minimal pain and bleeding (I felt fine physically after a couple of hours).

MissMoneyFairy · 20/09/2024 16:33

I'm sorry to hear this, when it happened to me I opted for morning list surgical under sedation, it was pain-free and I went home the same day.

Kt1704 · 20/09/2024 16:48

Hey. So sorry you’re going through this. I had surgical management back in January. After they found no heartbeat I was booked in the next day for the management. I left after an hour of the surgery. I had no bleeding after at home and it was all over quite quick. My auntie had the medical management and for me she made it seem very horrible to see all that at home. Yes the surgery might feel a bit invasion but it is all over quite quick and the doctors/nurses were all so lovely

Zeeha · 20/09/2024 17:51

So sorry this is happening to you. It's such a hard decision. I was petrified of the thought of surgery and I wanted to avoid it at all costs. I tried to do it naturally, but it wasn't really progressing. I then decided to seek the help of medication. I took the first medication at the hospital which rarely starts any bleeding and I was sent home. Before I was anywhere near due to take the second medication, it started to get very scary. The level of blood I was passing was making me feel faint. It became golf ball clot after golf ball clot. I rang EPU and I ended up in A&E in the middle of the night with two doctors poking around inside me trying to stop the active bleeding. The monitors were going mad because I was so distressed and it was so very painful having these instruments scraping inside of me. Next thing I knew I was being whisked away for emergency surgery. I woke up the next morning in a side room dazed and sore. Although I was one of the very, very unlucky ones, I am now painfully aware of the risks of being in miscarriage. I think if I was to miscarry in the future, I may well go for the surgical option straight away as to know I'll be in the right environment if something doesn't go to plan. Whatever you decide, I hope it goes smoothly and the very best to you and your family.

readyforroundthree · 20/09/2024 18:28

I've had both surgical and medical management and yes, it would be the same thing as what BPAS offer for medical termination.
You've obviously had previous experience with medical management so know what to expect. There is a risk of it not working properly and you needing surgical management anyway.
I was lucky enough that I was able to get the surgery within 48 hours of the scan, but I was waiting around in the hospital all day so it can be quite stressful emotionally. Also, it's a GA like you say, but you are under for such a short amount of time it's over before you know it.

MrsB2019x · 20/09/2024 20:43

So sorry for your loss OP 😢

I’d take surgery any day tbh. I MC’d naturally at home which was pretty intense, but ended up having retained products and eventually had surgery 8 weeks later to remove them. It was over very quickly, pain was really manageable and bleeding was minimal. I was really tired for a few days afterwards but that’s about it.

Good luck for whatever you decide to do xx

Original poster

Alexandra84 · 20/09/2024 21:47

Thank you very much for all replies, it’s really appreciated. I just want this over as quickly as possible and to then plod on with plans of things to look forward to. I think I’ll got for the GA and hospital procedure-this seems to run the least risk/chance of failure.

OP posts:

Jein · 20/09/2024 21:53

I'm so sorry, OP I had surgical management and don't regret it. It took a few days to feel completely back to normal but there wasn't much pain.

fashionqueen0123 · 20/09/2024 21:56

I’d go for the surgical having experienced it and seeing friends go through natural/medical.

Bb542 · 20/09/2024 22:46

So sorry OP. I know exactly what you're going through. I would recommend surgical management. The worst part is taking the tablets the day before to dilate your cervix. On the day of my surgery, I was admitted at 7am and my partner picked me up at 1pm. I had very little pain after. Hope you're okay. Xx

ladycarlotta · 20/09/2024 22:48

So sorry, OP. It's just awful. I think surgical is the right decision tbh - I've had D&C's twice after miscarriage at home failed to shift everything, which made me wish I'd just gone for the surgical option in the first place. The staff were lovely and the surgery is over very quickly. Also having a date makes it so much easier logistically with your other kids, I was adamant I wasn't going to risk miscarriage happening while I had sole care of my daughter. Would have been awful.

Hope you get some closure and can start to heal.

EVH · 21/09/2024 00:38

I’m so sorry to hear this!

I had a medical management and it was the most awful experience I’ve ever had. My body went into false labour with contractions for two days annd they had to give me morphine etc and the whole experience of having to push when you’re home alone is scary! It also took around three weeks to fully complete and the bleeding lasted over a month for me so I would recommend the surgical choice.

Joleyjojo · 21/09/2024 10:28

Sorry for your loss. I had surgical 3 weeks 4 days ago after a MMC.
it was over very quickly and the staff were lovely. I had minimal bleeding straight after , but went on to bleed on and off for about a week then brown discharge for another weeks.
i track ovulation and ovulated yesterday so my body seems to have gone back to normal fairly quickly. With a medical miscarriage there is a higher risk of retained tissue which prolongs the miscarriage and you may end up with surgery anyway.
I hope your ok xxxx

Flip