Partner not ready for another baby

[nicole1144]

Hi all, just wondering if anyone else has been so ready for another baby but their partner isn't? Our child is 2 and I've been ready for another baby for a few months now and I keep bringing it up with my partner and he just keeps saying he's not ready and every time I hear him say those words it's just soul crushing 😭 I'm so emotional over it. I grew up with no siblings and hated it, so it's so important for me to give my current child a sibling and preferably quite close in age so for him to keep saying he's not ready really breaks me. He keeps saying he will be ready from January but I feel like he's just saying that to keep me quiet because surely if you'd be ready in Jan which is a few months away you'd be ready now.. like what's gonna change.. it just makes no sense. Please some kind words 🥺 I'm feeling really disheartened right now.

No.

@nicole1144 no.

@offyoujollywelltrot ooooo you must be super human!

We are both incredible parents to our child, who is massively developmentally ahead, we are just doing our best. There's no need for your negativity on a literal post where I asked people to be kind.

He's allowed to not want another baby, ever. He doesn't need a reason. You're so young! Why the rush, just enjoy your family as it is now, and appreciate what you have.

Huh?

😐

I think him saying wait until Jan is a way of him trying to buy some time and space. And that's ok.

He's not ready. He's made that clear, you need to respect it.

And if he's still not ready in Jan, well you need to respect that too. Are you worried he's changed his mind about a second full stop?

No. HTH

Good day everyone, I'm leaving this post here. It's clear that everyone's got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning! Good bye! :)

AKA I didn't get the responses I wanted and people have discovered my previous threads...

THANK YOU! Some actual good advice ☺️

My husband and I had initially planned to try to conceive when our daughter turned 2, but when the time came I just simply didn't feel ready and kept thinking that I hoped it didn't happen straight away, and had a slight feeling of dread that it might. I decided it would be silly to ttc when I didn't actually want to get pregnant, so decided to wait another 6 months (which my husband agreed with and didn't push it) and by that point I ended up feeling completely ready and excited at the prospect of getting pregnant again. So a lot can change in 6 months. It doesn't need to be something objective and external, he's allowed to just not be ready yet, and if you try to force him he could end up resentful of the pregnancy. Having a child is an enormous thing, and you should only do it when you both feel ready. I know it's frustrating, but pushing the issue would not be fair.

@Wwyd2025 I actually did! I got some great advice, but thanks for your concern! Honestly don't care where I am in life- just glad I didn't end up a bully like you 🤣

Thank you so much, this is really helpful x

He didn't want the first pregnancy, he didn't want the first baby, he doesn't want another.

You want a certain life, he doesn't. You picked the wrong man to do this with. Just respect that.

You’ve already had two pregnancies he didn’t want (which yes, he should have done something to prevent). Now he’s telling you point blank he doesn’t want a third and you’re still not listening.

Having read your backstory no, I wouldn’t push this one. He’s telling you he’s not ready - listen to him.

So true. It all just screams of imposing a dream on an unwilling man. I’m sure he loves your little one and is a good dad but he didn’t want to be one did he? He’s now saying he doesn’t want another one - even with the express knowledge of what parenthood is like. You need to listen to him because the relationship will eventually crumble if he is pressured into something he doesn’t want.