What’s it like being pregnant?

[Bogasphodel]

Essentially the title! Planning on it in the next year or so with OH. I’m in my 30s now and had an abortion in my 20s, when I found out I was pregnant then I was horrified and felt completely self-destructive. I really want children now with OH (different than terrible BF I had in 20s) but I’m really worried that it might feel the same?

First, just remember you can't plan it. Have zero expectations going in to trying to conceive - it's common to take time to get pregnant, and being pregnant doesn't mean you'll have a baby. Only you can know if want this, presumably your previous pregnancy was unplanned so given this one would be planned I'd hope you'd feel better. I'm 38 weeks now, and I've gone from anxiety in first/most of second trimester (due to previous miscarriage) to being fairly neutral about it, I'm not sure I've felt excited yet! As long as it's what you want, there's no set or right way to feel about being pregnant.

I found it hard mentally.

My first was following 2 MC and I couldn't settle at all till he was born.

Second, whilst more relaxed she gave me a hard time with reduced movements.

I loved being pregnant and having my bump but it does come with some anxiety.

First two weeks- state of shock and disbelief even if planned. Your partner is an annoying dick and you question your relationship.

First trimester - really tired, nausea, worried about losing the baby and worry about money

Second trimester - enjoy pregnancy, tell others, dress nicely in maternity clothes, not too uncomfortable, start feeling movements which is nice.
Third trimester - uncomfortable and hard to move/ sleep.

I think there's a difference between an unexpected unplanned pregnancy that came as an unpleasant shock, compared to a planned and wanted pregnancy.

Having said that, on getting a planned and wanted positive pregnancy test, after the initial excited and happy response, both times for me I also then felt like "oh shit, what have I done?!" Especially the first time as you are moving into the unknown. Early pregnancy hormones can also make you very tired and irritable before anyone other than your partner knows about the pregnancy. That's a bit annoying. After the positive test, it's actually really a whole lot of nothing that happens. Midwives don't see you until you're around 8 weeks pregnant or more, so you have a bit of a waiting game until then.

Neither of mine were planned as such in that I wasn't actively tracking ovulation or officially TTC but we weren't using any protection to prevent it either.
We kind of just had an attitude of what's meant to be will be.

First pregnancy happened very fast (second cycle), second/current took another 4 years without even a sniff of a BFP in that time. I'm currently 12 and a half weeks.

Before both pregnancies I was living my normal life in regards to food, alcohol, holidays, socialising, work, exercise etc. I didn't change or do anything differently.

Two things I've learned:

1. there is never a perfect time. You will always find a reason to wait a few more months or another year whether that is to get married or move into a new home or start a new job, save up etc. Don't be like my friend who waited and waited and then found she struggled to conceive. She's now 41 and had 2 MC, no children yet. It's her biggest regret that she kept putting it off for years.

2. Pregnancy itself sucks. You're not really supposed to say it as it sounds insensitive to those wanting it so badly but it really does.

Personally I've found pregnancy pretty hard both times. More so the second time now I have a toddler. Currently 25 weeks. It's the tiredness for me and feeling like a whale. You just feel so different to your usual self and your whole body changes.
It's 100 percent worth it but it's not easy. But it goes fast.

My advice would always be, expect it to be utterly shit. That way anything wont come as a surprise or make you feel too awful, and anything less than utterly shit will be a really nice bonus!

Its not usually the attitude i take to life, but pregnancy can be such a wide range between amazing for some women and horrific for others, and the worst part is theres really very little you can do to influence what your experience will be like. Its basically roulette! But yeah, try to see it as a (probably unpleasant) means to an end!

Fucking awful IME. I'm not one that 'glows' with pregnancy. Not an experience I would ever repeat.

I have to agree with @boulevardofbrokendreamss it's terrible, I've never been so ill. I was so naive, had no idea how hard it could be beforehand.

I loved it. Loved my pregnant body and feeling baby inside.

I had mild pregnancy symptoms though!
Wrist pain, a little nausea, anemia, heartburn.

You can't predict what it will be like!

My pregnancies were both planned for context.

TTC: I conceived relatively quickly both times (very luckily) compared to many who have a longer journey. TTC can lose its shine quite quickly regardless, I found.

Finding out with the first positive test: Hard to believe it’s actually happening. Exciting but terrifying too.

First trimester: Fatigue like I’ve never experienced in my life. Impatience when wishing the early days away so the risk of miscarriage decreases with each day that passes. It feels a lifetime until your first/next scan.

Second trimester: When I enjoyed pregnancy most. You have had confirmation your baby looks healthy, you have your energy, your appetite… I also had these amazing boobs!

Third trimester: Anxiety creeps back in about the birth and life with a newborn but definitely more so excitement. I was personally like a whale. Nesting! I hated it very quickly as I kept seeing invisible dirt and grime!

Second (and hopefully) and last pregnancy for me: You don’t have as much time to worry and Google whixh is so freeing. You realise it’s (hopefully) your last time doing this and things like scans and doing your final ever pregnancy test feel bittersweet.

So enjoy it as much as you can.

Pregnancy was a walk in the park for me. The labour was horrific though and motherhood is not easy.

I think everyone struggles with different bits in different ways tbh.

I have had an "easy pregnancy" so far. No real complications, or severe symptoms. But I've still hated most of it. I hate the low level feeling of "just a bit crappy" constantly. When one symptom stops another starts. Even during the "magical 2nd trimester" where everyone talks about feeling great. My experience is that you just feel a bit less crap.

I also hate that I just don't feel like myself. I can't do lots of the things I used to and often don't actually even feel like doing them anyway. My body looks weird, and it doesn't seem to belong to me anymore. Everyone has an opinion and even when I'm alone, I'm not because baby is kicking me in the ribs.

Hello! So I've had a similar situation as you. Had an abortion at 19 because I was still a teen and not ready for kids! I was horrified when I found out and there wasn't a second thought in my mind to make that decision. Fast forward many years and being pregnant with a much wanted baby I absolutely loved it! I enjoyed every bit of my pregnancy and loved feeling her move in my belly which I thought would freak me out! We're just trying for number 2 now and I can't wait to be pregnant again. I think it's a completely different ballgame when the baby is planned. Obviously this was just my experience but the 2 pregnancies were like night and day for me xx

Loved my pregnancy up until week 27.

Then got severe reflux (projectile in some cases) so couldn’t eat/drink properly. But I was still quite small so still active

I’m now 38+6
Still with bad reflux only now I’m so big and uncomfortable I’m stuck indoors more than ever. I am such an outdoorsy person but I physically can’t walk too much or risk pain. I’ve also got insomnia and some days have maybe one hour of sleep

It’s also terrible not knowing how much longer I’ll be this uncomfortable. Could be 3 hours, 3 days or 3 weeks!

I can’t wait for baby to be here! I will take continued sleepless night (have them now anyway) to be more comfortable in my body and be active again!

For me, it was hard physically, but mentally I felt relatively well. Though hormonally I got really weird around being near my husband, feeling like I loved him - but I had this same reaction when I was very depressed a few years earlier so I was able to recognise it for what it was and it faded as I moved into the next trimester.
First trimester I found very difficult, the hormones were nuts, the smells, the nausea, the extreme exhaustion, I felt unsafe to drive, worrying about baby being okay etc.
Second trimester is the best, start to look pregnant, feel baby move, start to feel safe planning things.
Third trimester, I got pelvic girdle pain so had to use a stick to walk, horrible heartburn I had to have prescribed medicine for as I couldn't eat or sleep which was on top of just general insomnia and discomfort because you're not supposed to sleep on your back.
But I think my pregnancy was quite middle of the road, some friends had it much better than me, but I know many have it far far worse.
I was essentially healthy, as was my baby, so can't really complain.
It's also a really cool and magical time, especially I think the first time, my husband and I did loads of romantic things together when I was well, like last time just the two of us before baby. Each baby movement was so exciting etc. I had lots of time to rest so it was all manageable. I wish I'd appreciated it more!
I say that because we're planning another pregnancy and I'm dreading going through all this again but with a toddler at home! Will be so draining I know and that's if it's just the same as before, not anything worse.
I came off the pill recently and the hormonal disruption from that plus a bout of sickness has really given me the fear again about pregnancy.

Have you tried omeprazole for the reflux ? My heart burn has just begun at 25 weeks but will be taking omeprazole soon if it gets any worse. It's horrible.

Yep. Twice a day along with Rennie and Gaviscon. It’s basically like morning sickness without the nausea 😂

Just to balance it out a bit, my first pregnancy (so far....I'm 15 weeks) has been easy. So easy that I keep forgetting I'm pregnant! I had minor cramps and the slightest hint of nausea but literally nothing else. Just letting you know that experiences vary widely! Maybe I will have a horrific third trimester though so who knows xxx

I'm 38 weeks and I've found pregnancy less stressful or uncomfortable than I had expected (and I'm 38 years old so not young!). I had nausea for quite a long time although it was relatively low level but enough to be annoying/make me not want to eat dinner (mostly got it in the evenings), up until about 20 weeks. Some mild hip/lower back pain. Occasional other symptoms like round ligament pain and acid reflux but nothing really persistent or awful. I feel generally pretty good. I know I've been fortunate and other people have many more symptoms but this has been my experience! Also I love feeling baby move, which I thought might be weird but is actually just really nice.

Emotionally I found the first stretch the most difficult as miscarriage risk is higher and you can't do anything about it. So it's a long and slightly anxious wait from positive test until 12 week scan. I found the second and third trimester easier, and actually more and more so as baby has got bigger and movements more regular. Now I'm just excited to meet him!

I really struggled with anxiety throughout my pregnancy due to a previous loss, so ended up spending a fortune on private scans.

I had morning sickness until 16 weeks, then maybe 8 weeks where I felt great. Then I developed PGP so struggled to walk for weeks. That then subsided and I was blessed with a beautiful hormonal rash at 33 weeks (they checked liver levels and ruled that out). You're really limited in which medications you can use during pregnancy so I had to take a once a day antihistamine and cover myself in ointments and lotions which did absolutely nothing to ease the itch.

My little boy was born at 38+3 but those 5 weeks of the rash felt like the longest of the whole pregnancy.

Oh, and reflux. Forgot about the reflux 🫣

My first pregnancy (planned) was great. I loved it! I had fatigue in the first trimester, but otherwise was very lucky and got away without any bad symptoms, minus some insomnia in the third trimester. I think the worst bit for me was anxiety. I was OTT on edge about food - googling every ingredient when we’re out to see if it was safe for pregnancy (shock horror, 98% of them were fine 😅).

Second (unplanned) pregnancy hasn’t been great. I’m exhausted, constantly feel nauseous, and have a toddler to chase around. Counting down to the days of a proper bump, fewer symptoms, and feeling baby move - I love feeling them wriggling around!

Mine was planned after 10 months of trying with DH. When I got my positive test I was both thrilled and terrified, I'd have waves of both emotions. But the terror was mainly directed at the thought of what goes in has to come out 😂

Pregnancy wise, I think you'll get a mixture of answers as no two pregnancies are the same. It's a very individual experience.

I've been extremely blessed, I've had zero nausea or sickness.
I've been tired but, not horrendously so, I haven't napped etc, just happy to go to bed at night!
I've had sciatic, which is painful but manageable.
My emotions have been pretty stable. I'm not crying alot, or angry, or ragey. I'd say I've actually been really calm and chilled.
Watching my body change rapidly (weight gain, swollen ankles, legs etc) is something I'm still getting used to, but it's out of your control and you just ride the wave. (I'm also early 30's)

I think if you have a supportive partner it makes the experience a whole lot easier both emotionally and physically: however, I haven't stopped doing anything I would of done prior to being pregnant, except the hoovering, because our Hoover suction is crazy and I struggle to push it around now 😂

I know lots of people who had abortions at a younger age, wrong time, wrong person, but have gone onto have multiples with their current partners and are happy thriving mums. Xxxx

I also forgot to mention the acid reflux - it's a bitch and vile 😂 but my GP has just given me a prescription to help with that. (I'm 27 weeks also) about to enter the 3rd trimester. X