Wetting myself/sneezing/waters breaking fear

[AOMum14]

Hi everyone,

I am 18 weeks pregnant with my third baby. I lost my first at 33 weeks and have a living daughter. Pregnancy after loss is no joke - I feel very unsafe and every symptom is something I worry about. I also have horrendous health anxiety. And also, my pelvic floor is awful!

I keep worrying my waters will break early without me knowing. In my previous pregnancies, I KNEW when they had gone as it happened as I was pushing. The walls knew, the floor knew and the poor midwife in the firing line knew - both times ended with a mop and even the wall needing a scrub down.

But I can't get the fear put of my head. I've already gone into hospital twice in the last two weeks and had a check for leaking fluid. One time due to a weird fear and the 2nd due to wetting myself while sneezing - that's not even including heart beat checks ect. on other occasions. I sneezed again today and some more wee came out. I am working really hard on my pelvic floor and it dosent happen every sneeze but still worry when it does in case it was my waters.

I don't want to call the maternity line again - I will live in that hospital if I go in for every time I sneeze and wee. The maternity line is amazing and they are happy to have me in as many times as I like but I can't always let my anxiety win. But I am always so scared - what if it WAS my waters? I'll put on a pad and see of course but during my period I very rarely leak unless going to the toilet. The same with discharge - it's only really when passing stool does anything pass out if that makes sense. I went to the toilet afterwards and had normal discharge and no leakage since but worry it wouldn't leak as suggested.

I just wanted some logic shared with me - I know other women will sneeze and wee and not have this fear everytime. Please can you share your wisdom. Do other people wee when they sneeze? Will I know if my waters went early?

In terms of my mental health, I am doing as much as I can. Therapy and a plan to go on anxiety medication when my morning sickness subsides.
Many thanks in advance

So sorry for your loss and the impact it's had/having on your subsequent pregnancies.

This is going to sound very grim, but when I was pregnant with my first baby and my midwife was telling me what to look out for with waters breaking etc, she said to smell it as waters smell like sperm 😬 my waters broke before I went into labour with DD1 and I can confirm that she was correct. The smell was unmistakablely not like wee or discharge etc. They didn't break fully either, just had the odd trickle here and there and could still smell it. Sorry if that's TMI but just wanted to reassure you that in my experience it was distinct.

Obviously if you're ever unsure then do as you have been and call triage. Hoping your midwife has referred you to a perinatal mental health midwife to ensure you are receiving as much support as is possible during your pregnancy.