Horrendous first birth now pregnant again- so scared

[rosiebutterfly]

Hi all, I’d like to hear from people and get advice about second pregnancy.
my first birth was horrendous I had no movement at 38 weeks so I had to be induced, I spent 5 days in early labour being induced and then I had to proceed with hormone drip in the end with epidural which half failed, I then had to go forceps, episiotomy, 3 degree tear anyway and a PPH then 3 blood transfusions as I lost 2.5 litres of blood, I swore to myself that I could never go through that again, it was discussed that if I got pregnant again that it may be best to go for a controlled c section due to everything that went wrong last time.
after being petrified as this wasn’t planned, I’ve researched ever since and PPH can be more risky and lethal with c section deliveries.
now I just have no idea what to do, I know it’s early and I don’t need to be thinking about this yet as I’m in first trimester but I have PTSD from my birth so for me I just can’t get it out of my head, has anyone had a similar first birth and what option did you choose for your second

I've had two c sections and one natural birth. The c sections were a breeze honestly !

I'm so sorry you had such a traumatic birth. And congratulations on your pregnancy.

My story isn't the same but might be helpful. I had a traumatic labour that ended in emergency c section.

If I were in your position I would opt for an elective c section. Then you can relax, enjoy your pregnancy without fear of that trauma being repeated. Recovery from C-section was very fast for me - I was walking round the supermarket 2 days later on the way home from hospital.

I honestly think your mental health being stable without any new trauma is the best thing for you and your baby. Opt for a C-section, read up on what will aid a fast recovery and start enjoying your pregnancy.

Gosh you really went through it 😔 Have you had a birth reflections session or sessions OP? I didn't bother until my second pregnancy (over 2 years later) and found that really healing. I was glad I did it before having another baby. I had a c-section the second time round and was so much better prepared for it. The experiences were really very different.

Sorry clicked send too soon. Talk to your midwife about pph rusk with C-section because it sounds like it was directly related to your traumatic labour and may be very unlikely with a planned c section.

did you have a birth reflections meeting? being pregnant with my 2nd brought back all my feelings about my 1st birth which I'd pushed down. I found the meeting really helpful to go through what went wrong the first time and it was cathartic to hear the hospital say they were in the wrong. They also took me a lot more seriously than the 1st time. I made sure a plan was in place to prevent a similar experience. They were really good about it and I had all my preferences recorded in advance on their system. That said my friend had a very traumatic birth and had ptsd and counselling after. she opted for a planned c section and said it was amazing. very straight forward. mentally she couldn't go through a vaginally birth again.

I had pph with first and was induced and it was horrendous. For second dc I was under a consultant. My experience was second birth was a breeze, quick and no pph. I did not have a c section. I think you have to do what is right for you and take advice. It took me a long time to be ready to give birth again and I fully understand how scary it is.

I had a similar first birth to you and an ELCS the second time around. The ELCS was absolutely brilliant, I'd completely recommend it!

Hello OP. I really sympathise. I had a very similar first birth and when I fell pregnant the second time I was terrified as well. I actually found by about 20 weeks I was having shortness of breath during midwife appointments. As it only ever happened during clinical settings I was diagnosed with PTSD from the first birth. I had never had any physical anxiety symptoms like that before, I couldn't believe the whole body reaction I had to being back at the hospital where I went through the first birth experience. I was referred to the perinatal mental health team and eventually decided to have my second by c section. They put it down as maternal request due to secondary tokophobia. Nobody argued with it and I have never regretted the decision. My children are now older and I still relive my first birth around the time of my daughter's birthday (she's 9!) It simply isn't worth putting yourself through it if you don't have to, do what makes you most comfortable.

Although the risk of PPH is higher with a c section, it sounds like your PPH was due to your tear and also the fact that you had a very long labour and this makes your uterus tired and less able to contract when baby is out to reduce blood loss.

With an elective c section it is very controlled, there is a large team assembled to deal with any complications and they can have 'uterotonic' medications (drugs to make your uterus contract) to hand to reduce your blood loss.

I agree with PP that it would be a good idea to have a birth reflections appointment with a midwife to go through your notes and help you make a plan going forward that will make you feel more at ease going into a second birth.

Thank you so much everyone, we did have a birth reflections meeting booked but I basically was too scared to go and relive it, apparently those on shift after my birth came forward for counselling themselves so it must have been a pretty bad one, all of your responses have really made me feel better, I think at the moment after reading I will proceed with c section and hopefully be strong enough to have a birth reflections meeting before second birth x

Hi lovely, not much advice unfortunately, just a hand hold! I too had a very traumatic first birth and swore it would be years before even thinking about being pregnant again. I was in labour for roughly 20 hours, body was exhausted, ventouse, episiotomy PPH - lost 4 litres of blood which caused all sorts of havoc in my body and I was in the ICU in a coma for 36 hours. I also have been experiencing some PTSD symptoms from this and have found I am pregnant again 9 months later, 8 weeks or so. Bean is very loved and wanted albeit a little earlier than expected (we were taking 2 different birth control measures - condoms and the pill!) I am now terrified of either option as I too have read c-sections can cause you to bleed more and PPH is very reliant on the kind of birth you have so I could give birth vaginally and it be a breeze. I also have to think about recovery time as I'll have an 18 month old.