Dealing with anxiety in pregnancy after loss/infertility - trigger warning

[Houseno52]

Afternoon all

Has anyone got any advice or tips please for anxiety in pregnancy after loss? I’m currently 33 weeks, 6 year’s infertility and one pregnancy which resulted in a loss at 15 weeks. I’ve spoken to midwife/health visitor, been assessed by the mental health team, they seem to think I’m ok and are not overly worried, my anxiety over loosing this baby is through the roof, I am certain I’m not going to have a baby at the end of this. I’m just wishing the days away until it’s all over and I can get back to my ‘normal’ life. I’ve prepared a hospital bag for me and baby and bought a Moses basket which is in the garage. Other than that I can’t bring myself to do anything else, I’m just consumed by the thoughts this baby isn’t going to make it.

Has anyone else experienced similar please?

I think that after difficulty conceiving and then a loss that what you're feeling isn't surprising. I felt bleak and was quite depressed for a lot of my successful pregnancy following a previous loss at 12w. I was worried that I would have postnatal depression as I just felt so grey and unexcited approaching the due date but in actual fact, pretty much the moment DD was born the heavy feeling lightened. I just think that until I saw a healthy baby that I couldn't believe it would happen.

At 33 weeks you're getting to the point where statistically things are extremely likely to go smoothly. Try to cling objectively to that but also don't feel bad for not glowing with excitement!

Yes, experienced this with both my pregnancies due to multiple miscarriages. The second pregnancy I was induced 10 days early due to anxiety over losing the baby after I had a spell of reduced movement. I too was convinced that something would go wrong and the further along I got, the more I felt I had to lose and the worse the fear became.

I'm afraid I can only offer sympathy, because I didn't find a way to overcome the anxiety, despite getting help with mental health support services. But I hope it helps to hear that my anxiety lifted the second I had my baby in my arms. I also feel like the sleepless nights with a new baby were easy to cope compared with the sleepless nights I'd had with crippling anxiety during pregnancy, so I found the newborn stage a breeze!

My only suggestion is to try and keep busy and distract yourself. Don't worry about not having stuff for the baby. I didn't buy much beforehand (too scared I'd tempt fate) but was able to get everything I needed quickly after the birth and new babies don't need much. A few outfits and a safe space to sleep.

I hope that everything goes well and that you're relieved of your anxiety soon, once your baby is safe in your arms.

Thank you both so much. It’s comforting to know I’m not alone in feeling like this x

Hi lovely. I was you 31 years ago aand I was convinced my baby would not be born healthy. It was awful and I was a mess. She is now pregnant with her second baby!
Sending you positive thoughts and I second all the kind advice you have been given by all the pps. X

No words of wisdom but just to let you know I've been there too. Second IVF pregnancy now and it's slightly easier this time but not much. I found the last few weeks of my first pregnancy the hardest as it was so close but I just kept worrying something would happen to the baby and I wouldn't realise so just wanted him out by 35 weeks, I even asked them to do a c section at 38 weeks but they refused as baby and I were fine so no medical need for it! Unfortunately my anxiety has continued in that I am constantly worrying about my son now so for me it didn't end even with a successful pregnancy but maybe that's just part of being a parent! I have never experienced anxiety in any shape or form prior to getting pregnant so it was a surprise to me but I've learnt to just accept it and try and block out the intrusive thoughts. All the best with the rest of your pregnancy, as others have said statistically it's extremely likely to all be fine at this point!

Hello OP

Yes I have had this experience twice. In 2020 we lost our first born at 38wks (he was stillborn) the worst time of our lives. We later found out both of us carry a mutated gene that can happen again (1:4 chance)

Had my second baby boy in 2021 that pregnancy was the most stressful thing. I did not believe I would be bringing a healthy baby home. He is now 3 years old currently jumping all over me. The anxiety I still hits me hard especially when he's poorly. It's awful I totally feel for you 🫂

I'm not pregnant (32weeks) with a baby girl. Again anxiety through the roof despite being told at 16 weeks that she does not carry the mutated genes. I still sit here and think will she come home? Is something terrible going to happen?

I sought support from local babyloss charities and joined group calls. This really helped talking to other bereaved parents. Do you know if there's anything like this in your area? Or SANDS? PETALS? lots of love and all the best for your last few weeks pregnant 🙏🙏🙏

I'm now pregnant *