PREGNATOPIA

[BroccoliSpears]

Waistbands are outlawed in Pregnatopia. mu?umu?us are positively encouraged. There are no mirrors in Pregnatopia.

There is a bathroom on every floor in Pregnatopia.

Complimentary bowls of Gaviscon tablets dot the tables.

Beautiful, ripe, sweet pineapples grow wild in Pregnatopia, and teams of flunkies await your request to slice one from the ground and serve it to you.

You are never more than 30 feet from a fresh, warm plunge pool to loll about in.

Are you getting a bit impatient Brocolli?

I want foot massages, beds with mattresses like whipped cream, banana smoothies on tap and shelves of diverting things to read while lolling

Ahh yes, hoards of beauticians and masseurs roam about offering pedacures and foot rubs.

There are so many cusions and pillows available that they've had to rent a whole other island to store them on.

Brain candy books and magazines line the shelves.

And someone to scratch all the stretch marks.

In fact scrap that, stretch marks? What are they?

And in Pregnatopia there is NEVER water on the tiled floor which might cause your foot to slip and slide away from you wrenching your pelvis.

Ouch.

...And the washing up fairy always magically appears when your back is turned, leaving your sunday dinner wrecked kitchen looking like a fairy ad...

There is no work, no deadlines, in Pregnatopia. Especially not of the tedious boring mandatory kind

And there's a lovely, trustworthy childminder to look after your other dcs while you take a looooooooong nap. Or get a massage on one of those special tables with a hole for your bump.

and toddlers are banned

pregnant women are worshipped as goddesses, men look in wonder and admiration and never snicker as they waddle sashay past

All the chocolate is fat free and low calorie but REALLY tasty and Brazilian waxing is totally painless.

oh wow, can i have the address please i want to go there too !!!