Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Flip

Original poster

SCARED

15 replies

mummy2olivia · 19/04/2008 21:57

Have also posted this in ante-natal clubs.

Bit of background- its taken me and DH 15months to conceive, not ages compared to some but I personally have found it a very painful and emotional time.

Found out last week that I am pregnant- am only 4+4 today. I need someone to talk some sense into me.........

I dont feel happy, I feel detatched and most of all I feel ABSOLUTELY SCARED TO DEATH that it is all going to end sadly. I'm petrified of miscarriage and feel like if I lost this baby, to go back to the dark place I was in a couple of months ago would really devestate me.

I hate myself for feeling like this, Ive tried so hard to get here and now I'm scaring myself to death that its going to go wrong. I feel so sad and alone.

OP posts:

Makingdo · 19/04/2008 21:59

Message withdrawn

Original poster

mummy2olivia · 19/04/2008 22:02

This is the thing- have one DD, uneventful pregnancy and have never had a miscarriage.

Its just that after waiting so long and feeling so much despair, I cant get it out of my head.

OP posts:

Original poster

mummy2olivia · 19/04/2008 22:03

We have discussed it today and have booked a private scan for 7 weeks- should be able to put my mind at rest.

OP posts:

Makingdo · 19/04/2008 22:04

Message withdrawn

Original poster

mummy2olivia · 19/04/2008 22:06

I have symptoms- sore boobs and achey pelvis- I'm hanging onto that being good news!!

OP posts:

Makingdo · 19/04/2008 22:07

Message withdrawn

MrsMacaroon · 19/04/2008 22:08

Sounds like a pretty natural response to being desperate to conceive and early pregnancy with all the hormones etc... I find early pregnancy very strange anyway and always have a few weeks of a weird mixture of depression, shock, joy and fear. Try to talk about how you're feeling as much as possible. I found that in the early weeks, taking a long walk everyday when I was feeling particularly emotional a really good way of shaking it off a bit.

When you say 'scared and alone' is that because you don't have support or just because you're not talking to people about it?

Original poster

mummy2olivia · 19/04/2008 22:11

Its more that not many people know cos am so early, DH is over the moon so dont wanna burst his bubble and the friends I have spoken to have said 'relax, stop worrying', well that didnt help me when i was ttc did it?????!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OP posts:

YouCantTeuchThis · 19/04/2008 22:20

Congrats on the pregnancy and I'll just pass on what I was told by another mnetter when I was 4wks pg after a missed miscarriage...

To quote...

"We can either be paranoid and miserable and wish our lives away for the next 8 weeks, which won't change the outcomes of our pregnancies, or we can be happy and celebrate that we are pregnant, and if the worst happens then we'll face it knowing that at least we had a few weeks of joy."

Amen!

All the best for an uneventful 9 months.

MrsMacaroon · 19/04/2008 23:30

Well, you'll just have to use MN to vent! Think you should expand on how you're feeling to some understanding friends to get a bit more support...'stop worrying' is obviously not working. Don't put to much pressure on yourself to act a certain way for other people- it just puts additional stress on you which can't help. If you feel scared and emotional, having a sob and a rant can be so cathartic- you're pregnant after all- such emotional outpourings are to be expected...actually, that was my main early symptom with first pregnancy- i went all peculiar, over-reacted to everything and lots of Scarlet O'Hara style throwing myself tearfully on bed etc. Then felt depressed and weirdly sad even though we had been trying for YEARS...it's almost like the mixture of relief at finally getting pregnant combined with the reality of being pregnant (just something else to be out of control about but with more to lose) and the hormones, makes you feel overwhelmed for a while.

Very natural- Work on some relaxation exercises and get lots of fresh air and sleep...it'll fade and then you'll be onto the next thing!

cyteen · 20/04/2008 11:04

M2O, I felt exactly the same and found that online support was invaluable for those weeks when I felt it was too early to tell RL friends - I blurted out all my fears, worries, random emotional outbursts, and found lots of other people in the same boat which was quite comforting.

Congratulations on your pregnancy, I wish you smooth sailing from here on in

HairyToe · 20/04/2008 19:41

M20 - just reading this and I keep feeling just like you M2O. Got my BFP on Tues and keep veering between feeling happy and excited to certain something is going to go wrong. I too feel strangely detached from the pregnancy and am almost trying to pretend its not happening.

In my case I think it is down to 2 things.

I've had two healthy pregnancies before and no miscarriages and feel surely my luck is going to run out this time.

I know so much more now about all the things which can go wrong (mainly from Mumsnet tbh!) - in my previous pregnancies (certainly my first - I knew nothing!) I was a bit more blissfully ignorant.

Teuch - I really liked your piece of advice. Thank you so much for posting it. I'm thinking about copying it out and reading it every day! It's so true. I think in a way I'm trying to 'prepare' myself for the disappointment should something go wrong. Whereas in actual fact no matter how much 'preparing' I do I'd still be devastated so there's no point torturing myself. As you say it's got to be better to just try to relax, think positively and enjoy being pregnant.

whomovedmychocolate · 20/04/2008 20:07

You know, there is bugger all you can do but count the days and they will pass (hopefully uneventfully).

It's normal to be scared when a pregnancy is so longed for. In lots of ways it's harder when you've had a baby already to be unable to conceive for a while because you know what you are missing.

But perhaps the timing wasn't right till now. Either way, you are pregnant, be happy about it, focus on the good bits - once you've heard the heartbeat in a few short weeks time, the risk of miscarriage plummets.

You will be fine.

Original poster

mummy2olivia · 20/04/2008 22:00

Had the scare of my life today- pain in my side, quite high up, in between hip and boob, like an ache but sharp when I twist. SO went to A&E, Dr was lovely, humoured me, gave me a prod and declared I have got................

a pulled muscle.

I work in health care FFS- what is wrong with me???!!!!!!

So got home, did 2 preg tests to celebrate then have sat here with a bit of cramping and hip ache convincing myself period is on its way.

I'm 5 weeks tomorrow. Scuse my language but 35 more fucking weeks of this is gonna do me in. My sunday off work has been spent titting about.

What is wrong with me???!!!! why cant I just be happy???!!!!! The aches, pains, niggles and twinges are sending me loopy loo.

OP posts:

whomovedmychocolate · 21/04/2008 08:31

No, no, you have another few weeks before things will settle down that's all. Of course you will worry throughout pregnancy but being booted continually in the ribs will be reassuring

Flip

Swipe left for the next trending thread