Please help me guys, I am losing my mind

[AnnahJ]

Hi ladies, just wanted to ask if anyone else went through the same. I was too late for first trimester scan and therefore I didn't have NT scan. They offered me quad test which came back 1:5000 (I am 36) and anatomy scan was all good, but I can't help, but worry. What if they missed something or baby just didn't show any symptoms for trisomies? I was stupid enough to read stories like that. I am really scared of finding out at birth that something isn't okay. I don't know how to calm down or stop having those intrusive thoughts. I asked my midwife what are the chances of t21 after low risk quad screening and okay anatomy scan and she said it's not common and said to try not to worry. Now I worry even more. On top of it I had a growth scan today and the baby's face /mouth looks weird. Not like most baby scans I've seen. I really don't know how to stop spiraling like this. I Google topics with DS to see how they are detected, how faces looked on the scan and I feel I am going crazy

If there was something alarmingly wrong with your baby's anatomy then the professional sonographer would have picked up on it at the time.

Scans do look really weird because it's basically looking "through" your baby like an x Ray.

Please try to stop worrying as it looks fine to me (easier said than done though I know).

Also, ask yourself this: if your baby did have some sort of chromosomal disorder at birth, what would you do? There's absolutely nothing you can do to reverse it.

What isn't great for your baby is being stressed all the way through pregnancy so see if you can find a way to relax.

It's very unlikely there's anything to worry about as the results came back low right. But if you're going to keep worrying you could get an NIPT test privately, they're more accurate than the NT measurement anyway

I'm sorry you're feeling so anxious.

It's never possible for the baby to be tested for absolutely everything in a pregnancy.

All women worry that there will be something wrong with their baby. I certainly did.

There is nothing to be gained from googling pictures of scans. Or statistics.

Years ago, nobody was tested for anything. I was only scanned in my last pregnancy, and that was because of bleeding at 34 weeks. I had no anomaly scans. They didn't exist!

The NIPT didn't exist either.

Nobody had a dating scan.

I'm going back 40 years here.

I'm a midwife, and I often think that some women get more anxious now than they used to in the olden days.

But all women worried about anomalies. That's normal. I don't think it's normal to obsess over possibilities, though.

What I'm trying to say is, please calm down. What will be, will be.

I was 37 and 39 when I had my two so understand your worry. Can you get the NIPT to allay your worry? It has high accuracy on results for DS. I paid for it in both pregnancies (first time after a high risk result on NT).

If you are still going to worry despite getting the best results you can get in those tests (1:5000) then I don't think anything anyone says here can help

I know ow how you feel, my nt came back sometime like 1:500 I can't recall exactly but wasnt in the thousands, and so I got the harmony blood test done privately. All good, but I too analysed scans and thought various things like DS, cleft palate, etc. He was ivf so had lots of anxiety during pregnancy.

For your piece of mind get the nipt and don't judge based on scans as the fluid in the womb warps and messes with them, I got a 3d one and the fluid looks solid, thought he had all sorts of issues based on that scan and he was totally fine and beautiful, healthy as a horse :)

20 week scan would have picked up on signs don't worry

Scans just look weird. Your sonographer was looking at your baby live and in motion, they would have noticed if there was something very atypical. You just have the one picture, which is a moment in time and very literally a "slice" through your baby. There's not much point in basing your worries off that.
It would be unusual if no signs of trisomy were spotted at this stage but you could still have NIPT.

Thank you so much for your kind reply. I will try my best not to worry

Thank you so much ♥️

Thank you for this. I needed that reminder and you're right. All those testing and additional scans are making me more worried. I didn't even know about genetic testing (I am from Eastern Europe) and all those procedures. I only found out when I already missed the most important one and that's what set me off.
Thank you for your perspective as a midwife and time you took to message me. I do really appreciate that and will be always grateful for this

You're right.. I do understand my worry might be annoying and all my questions unreasonable from different perspective. You actually did help me telling me this. I didn't know it's the best score, I never thought of it like this. Thank you

Thank you so much for your kind answer ♥️ congratulations on your baby, ivf babies are always so special 💕 I am happy that everything turned out great for you. Once again thank you for this, it's very helpful

Thank you such for telling me this 💕

Thank you and you're right.. The tech would probably say something if she picked up something unusual. You gave me a peace of mind and I am very grateful for that ❤️