Can't shake the idea of having a 3rd child

[GoldenDreamerK]

I know there have been many posts about this but I can't seem to shake the feeling of wanting a third baby. We have two wonderful children (1.5 and 3 years old) but I do not feel like our family is "complete". Having a third child is on my mind constantly. I was hoping this feeling would pass but it hasn't. My husband feels completely fulfilled with our two. For those of you that did not give into the urge to have another child, did the desire ever pass or do you have regrets and wish you went through with it? I am in my late 30s so waiting a few years to see if the feeling is still there isn't necessarily an option. I'm quite envious of those people who people who feel content and "done" and can happily give away their baby stuff. I long to be in that position. Any advice?

Sorry I don’t have any advice op as I feel the same and just want you to know you’re not alone. My husband isn’t on board for a third and I don’t want to try and sway him. It’s so hard fighting this natural instinct every day!
Hope you get some good responses on here

I did, and it caused some arguments and bad feeling between me and my husband
however we went ahead and had a third and she is a dream come true. I am so so glad I followed my heart with this one. Sorry no advice, but this is how it worked out for me.

No advice op but I feel the same, I think about it every day, my two are 5 and 1.5. We always agreed on having two and DH is more than happy with our family, he's currently on the waiting list for a vasectomy. I was really ill with my second so I don't think i could put myself or my family through that again but it doesn't help the feeling that we aren't complete. I don't know if that will ever go away.

Thank you all for the messages and for sharing your feelings and experiences. It’s reassuring to hear that I am not alone in feeling this way. I hope we all find peace with the situation one way or another.

I’m so happy it worked out for you. If you don’t mind me asking, how long did you and your husband talk about it before having a third? Months or years? It might be a silly question but do you find that he is also now happy that you went through with it?

It was months rather than years. Maybe six or nine? He freely admits now he was wrong, she’s completed our family and he’s glad we went for it. The only thing he would say is going from two to three is hard because you’re outnumbered by kids.

I was the same. I had two, just needed a third. I can't really say why.

Now that she's here, I feel my family is complete.

It's a lot of work. And I don't think I appreciated how close we were to being out of the trenches with our older two. I occasionally realise how much easier life would be if we'd stuck at two.

However she is a dream come true and we have no regrets. She completes us. Her older siblings are besotted with her.

I know that the slight chaos we have now will mean nothing compared to having her face around the table for decades to come.

We thought about it but stopped at two. Zero regrets. In fact the opposite - so often we say thank god we only have two. They are fabulous but teens these days require significant input practically emotionally and financially.

Hit peri menopause and craving frreedom incredibly thankful I don’t have to parent a third teen. Just wouldn’t have it in me. Plus 3 lots of university costs eek. Friends with 3 are over it and envious of the majority of us with two.

Husband was happy to stop at 2 but I felt so strongly someone was still missing from our family. We had our third and now I feel totally complete and it's amazing seeing them all okay together. Found the jump from two to three easy as already used to the chaos of two under two, so three under five was fine and our third was such an easy going healthy child it was actually great in the end. Yes the childcare costs, food bills and space were a bit tougher but they are so happy to play together for hours.

Do you have two of the same gender OP? Or one of each?
If you have two the same maybe you would like the opposite this time around. This could be why your desire is so strong.
Or you may just be broody for a third which is completely normal too. I suppose it really comes down to how strongly your DP feels , is he really against another or could he be swayed?

We actually have one girl and one boy so it’s not about the gender. I guess it’s really just about having that third one. My husband says he would “do it for me” but it really would be for me as he finds the idea of a third one quite stressful, hence me being hesitant to push him. I see some others have pushed their spouses and are so happy they did it now that they have their wonderful third child. I really don’t want to have regrets later but also want my husband to be equally on board with the idea. Tough decision!

It's a tough one, you'll probably get remarks from some people as a pigeon pair is supposedly the perfect family - but at the end of the day it's yours and your DPs decision 🥰 I have 4 btw so 3 is a breeze to me lol

I'm slightly further down the line than you, my two are 4.5 and 6, and I still can't shake the feeling of wanting a third! Even though we are past the baby/toddler years and it is nice to have some freedom back, I still long for a third and haven't quite accepted we won't have another - what I really wish is that we'd had one a couple of years ago to be honest! I don't know how I'll feel when they are teens/grown up yet, but right now the want is definitely still there! My husband is similar, he has said he'd do it if I really wanted it that much, but I didn't want to go into having a baby without both of us being fully on board so haven't pushed it.

I read a quote which said,

you’ll never regret the baby you had, but you might regret not having one.

after my third I feel complete. I still see babies and think awww I’d love one, but that strong desire has gone away now

We talked about having a third, but timing was never right, then covid hit, and it didn't seem like the ideal time to make a baby, and then when we were out the other side of that the eldest two were settled at school and I felt the age gap would have been too big. Still sometimes think about how it would have been had we had a third, but I'm actually really glad we didn't. Life is calm now. Both enjoying school, thry get on so well, and I've got a bit of "me" back. I definitely don't look at mums with more than two and feel anything other than, god that must be hard! We are able to do so much as only have two to consider, and I know that we wouldn't be able to do half of what we do, if we had another child. We do absolutely love holidays, and if I'm honest, that was probably the main thing holding us (well, me) back, as everyone says it's so much harder and more expensive with three, and didn't want to sacrifice our plans to show our children as much of the world as possible, just for our desire to have another baby. We've had some amazing, and once in a lifetime type adventures over the past few years, and I know that wouldn't have been possible with three. We are by no means well off, but budget well, and the children never go without, do lots of nice clubs and days out, which I know would also have to be scaled back on if we had another. If money were no object, we may have had baby 3. But I actually font know if I'd be mentally cut out for it either, don't underestimate the work load of school admin/life once they're older, it's intense, and I struggle to remember everything for two!

Hope I feel this way once my third is here x