To be convinced something will go wrong..

[Ellsx6]

Why am I so convinced something will go wrong? It's took us 4 years to conceive this very wanted baby and finally we have. Im 15 weeks today and had a reassurance scan yesterday and baby was fine. Looked into anatomy and what we could see and lady said all looked really good. I've never miscarried before and have had an easy going, not really many symptoms pregnancy so far. I'm still not relaxing and enjoying myself. It's like I'm convinced something will go wrong and I feel like I'm manifesting bad things with these thoughts but I can't help it. I'm so anxious and moody every day and struggling inside. Will this pass? Is this normal? I told my midwife she said it's normal to be anxious. Was anyone else like this through pregnancy?

I had horrendous anxiety until about 32 weeks when things got really physically uncomfortable and I felt more confident that if baby arrived they’d be fine. It’s not at all unusual. You’re not manifesting bad things by worrying but do see if you can access IAPTS in your area (you’ll get priority) because being anxious is horrid. If your anxiety is really bad, debilitating, emphasise this with your midwife. They shouldn’t be dismissive. If you’re in Birmingham I can recommend an excellent charity who will offer support too.

I could almost have written this post myself, the only difference being I'm 11 weeks, not 15 but the rest - 4 years of trying and the extreme anxiety, I absolutely relate to!
I keep hoping that with each scan it will get better, currently waiting for NIPT results and telling myself once I get them, I'll be fine.....
But I know I won't be even if it comes back low risk, any relief will be short lived as then I'll be panicking about MMC and that they'll find something else at the next scan. It's awful. You have my full sympathies

@Normandie I'm a couple hours from Birmingham unfortunately. I have my midwife appointment next week so going to mention again that my anxiety has not eased and is affecting my everyday life hopefully she can help :)

@sel2223 I just can't comprehend how after 4 years I've finally fell pregnant and it's all going to be okay..that seems crazy. We had a gender scan yesterday and it's a boy so feeling better after that and some happiness! It helps me envision life and who he will be🤞🏽we had our screening results and all was good. I don't understand why I'm worrying so much. It's so unlikely for something to go wrong at this point. I'm litterally paying for weekly scans to check I haven't had a missed mc. Although I'm sure with my avocado sized baby if something went wrong i would have some excruciating pain or something?! Congrats on your pregnancy xx

I'm 12 weeks but feeling the same. Constantly worrying that something is wrong or that baby has passed and I'm still carrying it around. It's my worst fear. I have had previous losses though 🌈 I have a 2 year old and really struggled with him but more after he was born, worrying he was going to die all the time. I don't think it helps being in groups or threads sometimes with others that are also early pregnant because you see others that are losing their pregnancies and it makes the possibility more real. I'm trying not to get too involved yet but it's hard.

I've got my appointment with the perinatal mental health team this week so will try to speak to them about it but not sure really what can be done. They were a support last time after the birth and if you're feeling similar I would ask your midwife for a referral. They are there to support mums through the pregnancy and beyond and are specialist trained MH teams. Honestly couldn't have got through it all last time without their help

You might start to feel reassured once you can feel movements. I felt better once DD was wriggling because I knew she was ok!

@IveGotALovelyBunchOfCoconutss it's nice that I'm not alone here and people are consumed with the same worries. Both mine and partners mum miscarried their first baby's , my mum was sick for a whole 12 weeks just to find out baby's heart never started beating. His mum just bled out at about 8 weeks and scan confirmed mc. This somehow in my brain makes me think I'll mc my first too then..I know it sounds bizarre we are all different. I feel kind of embarrassed to get mental health help? Like I'm pregnant finally I should be so happy and doing mentally great after battling infertility but nope. I am in a march 25 mums group on Facebook which is really lovely and positive as people don't seem to come on there and spread bad news like they do here in the Mumsnet groups. I'm so sorry for your losses xxx

@narns I have a posteria placenta and think I've felt 'bubbles' for a few days now when I lie down and try to feel for it but I feel like I'm probably gaslighting myself and it's nothing🤣🤣I'm desperate for him to kick the heck out of me for some reassurance

@Ellsx6 don't feel embarrassed to get the help - it's what it's there for. I left it far too late last time and was really really ill which impacted massively on the newborn stage with my 2 year old. I'm also in the same FB group and it's all the losses I see posted which don't help and keep reminding me it's logical to think it could happen to me. I keep hoping maybe after the 12 week scan this week or maybe after we know the gender etc but I'm really not sure what will help. It's so tough. You worry about getting pregnant and pray so much for that to happen then it's just constant worry during pregnancy and then birth, newborn etc. It can be so hard. If you need the support and it's available take it with both has, you would have a much more enjoyable pregnancy and the stages that follow. Certainly wish I had accepted it much earlier last time

Congratulations on your little miracle! After such a long time trying to conceive it is totally understandable how anxious you are, and I think very normal, this must be very surreal for you after waiting so long. As a previous poster said, once you start feeling the baby move (and poke an arm or leg up so you can see your tummy raise up!) you will probably feel much more relaxed, and when you are further along you will naturally relax more as the chances of any issues happening are so much lower. I think once I’d got past the 26 week scan, and the baby regularly felt like they were doing somersaults, I definitely relaxed and started to look forward to the birth (previous miscarriages, now have 2 children).

I got pregnant straight away with my 1st but still felt similar. It was too easy and something would go wrong. It actually persisted after he was born. I would always worry he wouldn't be breathing when I went to get him from his cot because I was worries about SIDS till he was 6m and then worried about chocking on food till about 1 year. As long as you're worried but not consumed by the worry and letting it manifest in constants checks and over-the-top behaviours, I think it's not uncommon.

It changed with my 2nd: I just assumed it would be fine and, if it wasn't, there was no point worrying about what I couldn't change anyway.

OP, I was exactly the same and I’m also worrying my way through my current pregnancy although trying not to.

You are pregnant today. Take and enjoy every day as it comes and your baby will soon be here.

I really regret not enjoying my first pregnancy. It will forever be one of life’s regrets.

I'm sorry you're feeling like this. I've felt the same ALL pregnancy. I'm 36 weeks now and still holding my breath for something to go wrong.

The only advice I can give is that now at 36 weeks I realise that all of that worry was wasted energy and helped no-one.

I think I'm nearly exactly the same gestation as you. I think it is definitely worth flagging the anxiety at your next appointment as while it's understandable it is affecting your day to day life. You aren't manifesting anything but it would be nicer to be able to enjoy your pregnancy a bit more. I was very lucky with my first as I was in a state of blissful ignorance and it didn't occur to me that something would go wrong, so I enjoyed my nine months! You can't underestimate the effect of having waited four years, I can't imagine what that must have been like and it's not a surprise you feel so anxious.

I've spent the same time trying to get a sibling for my child and had various losses but am currently more relaxed than I thought I would be because 1 I think it's time I had some luck and 2 I've had some very open conversations with people over the years and realised how many people have horrible things happen to them. And I'm aware I have a very nice life apart from this one thing. But it's taken a long time and a lot of ups and downs to get to this state of mind, and I'll still be a nervous wreck at my 20 week scan. The other thing is I seem to be quite busy at the moment so am keeping myself distracted! Wishing you all the best.

@Greymalkin12 I try so hard to keep busy by going out ect but my hip/back/ankles take a hit they ache so bad if I'm up and moving it's so annoying😖I think perhaps because I have no huge bump no movement and not really any symptoms at this point I'm getting more worried? When I was at about 8 weeks I felt more relaxed then because I felt so crap I knew my body must've been working so hard and baby was okay. It's weird how feeling shite makes you feel better mentally😅 thankyou all for the advice too!!it's nice to know I'm not alone🤍