IVF pregnancy measuring behind and no heartbeat

[Twomumfamily]

Hello, my wife is 7w+3 pregnant (we are a same sex couple) from an IVF frozen transfer.

We just had an early scan today and we are measuring at 6w with no heartbeat, the gestational sack and fetal pole can be seen though. I was wondering if anyone had experienced this before and if we should start preparing ourselves...?

I know with natural conception it could be that dates are out, but we know we are 7+3 due to transfer dates so 10 days out is worrying.

We have another scan in 2 days and would like to know if this happens often or if it has likely stopped growing and to prepare for a miscarriage?

From personal experience I think it always helps to prepare for the worst to save yourself more heartache.
back in January I fell pregnant and had some light spotting one Friday and the early pregnancy unit were unable to see me until Monday. I booked a private scan straight away who told me I was just earlier than I thought I was and everything looked absolutely fine and I was instantly relaxed and relieved. I then found out on the Monday I was infact miscarrying which was made so much more traumatic for me by being told everything was fine. My current pregnancy I had lots of spotting between weeks 6-7 and I accepted a miscarriage was inevitable and rested whilst waiting for it to happen only to find out a week later everything was fine And just as it should be. I really hope everything is okay for you both it’s a horrible experience having to wait it out to find out a result

Hello, first of all congratulations on your journey so far it's a tough one.

Did they do an external or internal scan?

I had IVF and my Clinic wouldn't do an early scan until 8 weeks as they said until then they can't see what they need to, to confirm the pregnancy.

I had to have early scans due to a bleed at 6 weeks and they couldn't see anything externally and had to do an internal scan- they confirmed the pregnancy was there but I too was measuring behind. They advised that at this stage it's so small that it's difficult and any slight mis- measurement can have the dates wrong. At my 8 week and then 12 week scan it was back to the right measurements. My Toddler is sat next to me x

I'm really sorry. I think the most likely outcome here is a miscarriage. I understand how devastating that is. Agree with pp that I would try to prepare yourselves for the worst. A discrepancy of that much when dates are known wouldn't be highly unusual in a viable pregnancy unfortunately. Thinking of you both.

Hey. 2 mum family here too, also conceived through FET. Unfortunately, I would really say in this case you should be prepared to hear that the pregnancy has ended, as really at this stage you would be expecting a heartbeat to be detected - that why fertility clinics time it at around 7 weeks, as by then they should be able to confirm if the pregnancy is viable or not. Please don't loose hope - I had a chemical pregnancy (so loss earlier than yours) before going on to conceive

I am so sorry you went through that experience, that sounds awful, and must have been so scary having spotting again in your current pregnancy, congratulations though, must have been such a relief to find out all was okay.

Awh thank you for the congratulations, it's felt like a long one, I tried several times (IUI & IVF) but they all failed and I needed a break so we moved on to reciprocal IVF with my wife carrying. This was our first positive test and we really thought it was the one.

They did both internal and external scan, we have just had the report back and on there it says that our GA according to the transfer date is 6w5 and measuring at 6w which wouldn't be so bad. But we transferred on 1 Aug (5 day embryo) and everything else I can find is 7+2/3. So we are a little confused now!

Thank you for sharing your experience that gives us a little hope, sorry you had to go through the horrible limbo wait also.

@SErunner and @2mumlife Thank you, I think you are right and we should prepare ourselves for loss.

Thank you all for sharing your stories, I am so sorry to those who have gone through this also. If anyone has any advice on how I can support my wife through this (what you would have wanted your partner to do), please do let me know.

I know everyone is different but I realise this is going to be hard for her as she has to physically experience this loss and would love to know what helped others (if anything).

I’m really sorry. Did they do blood tests for HCG? That’s standard practice, usually, and they can tell you at what level they would expect to see a heartbeat.

I had a scan at 6+5 last week and saw a heartbeat, and again at 7+1. I was spotting, which is why I had the scans, but the nurses were quite reassuring that with my HCG levels, they expected to see a heartbeat and for everything to be okay.

That wasn’t true with my son, where I had a scan at 5+5 for bleeding; and the sonographer quite bluntly said she could only see a fetal pole and that she couldn’t tell me what was happening. I had a horrible two week wait for a second scan - which was at 7+5 and thankfully, he was fine. Every day hurt, though.

I've got my fingers really crossed for you both.

@YouveGotAFastCar Our clinic didn’t do HCG blood tests (UK) but we paid for one ourselves as our tests didn’t seem dark enough to me. On official test date her HCG was 100 which was in line with where it should be. We didn’t bother doing another one (we should have in hindsight) as our tests became dye stealers so I wasn’t as worried.

When we do it again I think we will do several HCG tests (as I think we will be very nervous).

That must have been so scary with your son, I’m glad it worked out okay in the end (although the wait must have been awful).

@Twomumfamily I found when we had a chemical pregnancy that the fertility clinic was quite unemotional about it all really - so the general attitude was very much "this was most likely not a viable embryo, early losses are a normal occurrence, but its great because it shows you can get pregnant, now we just need the right embryo". So its maybe worth just preparing yourselves for this kind of stance - whilst it feels like a loss of a baby to you, from the clinics perspective they'll likely see it as an embryo that could never have resulted in a birth. Which can be quite harsh when you may be feeling like you're grieving losing a baby. But it can also be reassuring for some people, depending just on how you see these things, as essentially the clinic was right - it does show you can get pregnant, and it does generally suggest you just need the right embryo now. I found with a little bit of time and perspective, I began to see that.

Also, every deals with things in different ways. After our chemical pregnancy, I went to Next and bought a set of sleepsuits for a newborn. It was the first baby thing I bought, as we'd made the decision not to buy anything when TTC incase it didn't work. But I kept those sleepsuits in a drawer and told myself one day there would be a baby to go in them. One of those sleepsuits was the first thing our DD wore after she was born.

I would just suggest continuing to talk to each other about how you're feeling throughout the process, and when you start discussing trying again.

Do you have any embryos still frozen? I did 4 rounds of medicated IUI (all BFN), then moved to IVF. I responded terribly despite all my fertility tests coming back normal. We only got 2 mature eggs from my first egg collection, both made high grade 5 embryos. Fresh transfer was a BFN and the FET from that round was my chemical pregnancy. We did a second egg collection with a totally different protocol, got 6 mature eggs, all made it to day 5 but only 3 were suitable to freeze. First FET is our DD and I'm 35 weeks pregnant from second embryo transfer (1 still frozen). So even if your journey has been long and looking unsuccessful so far, things really can change very quickly.

unfortunately there is no right or wrong way of dealing with a pregnancy loss and everyone is different. I personally only rested for two days and went back to work but ended up in a lot of pain and with an infection of the womb and in hindsight I should have listened to my boyfriend and rested and given my body time to recover as my mental health decline rapidly after this. It’s helpful to remind your partner to grieve for the loss and it’s okay to grieve for the loss and deal with the effects on the body! Xx

@2mumlife Thank you so much that is really helpful to know what to expect when we go in tomorrow, I will prepare my wife for this experience too. We have decided to go to EPU (we spoke to them this morning) if tomorrow shows no growth, which is expected, and see if we can medically terminate as she just wanted this over understandably.

Sounds like you had a similar experience to us, I had several failed IUIs (unmedicated as high AMH). Then IVF I managed to get 5 low quality embryos, all 4BC. One failed to implant (to me) and now this loss to my wife from the 2nd. We have 3 left in the freezer (two 5 day blasts and one 7 day blast). We are considering doing a double transfer next as such low quality and if that fails we will do another retrieval for me. I am so glad it worked out for you and your partner, that gives me hope and congratulations on your pregnancy. ❤️

Do you know what, we bought a baby grow before this transfer which was our first purchase too, so I think we will keep the tradition with each transfer.

Thank you for taking the time to write about your experience, it is very helpful and I feel much more prepared for what is to come tomorrow, we have now both taken the afternoon off work.

@Lauren1999 Thank you for sharing your experience, I am so sorry that sounds horrible, I hope it didn't take you too long to recover. Thank you, I will make sure she gets proper recovery time also with lots of TLC and takes some time out to grieve properly.

I am so sorry for all your losses, it is such a hard journey sometimes.

Good luck for the scan today Op.

Thank you @CrumpledBankNote

We have had the scan and it was as we all thought, there was no change and is pregnancy loss (stopped growing at 6 weeks).
We are in EPU waiting to be seen as my wife may need some help to move things along.

Thank you so much to everyone for taking the time to reply, it gave us time to prepare for the appointment today and process the loss and to prepare for what is to come.

xx

So sorry for what's happened today Op.

Best of luck for your journey moving forward. It's very unfair.

So sorry to hear that. Thinking of you both.

I did private IVF and paid for HCG blood tests with medichecks afterwards as my clinic also didn't do. I had two transfers though and my first fresh transfer was always bang on for dates but my FET was 4-5 days behind all along, and the clinic said frozen embryos are often a bit slower to implant and start growing than fresh transfers, and this can affect the data of scans in the early days.

@Twomumfamily I'm sorry it wasn't more positive news. Hope you're both doing ok, and that the EPU can help move the process along.

Just to say, unlike @Nurserymum2 my 2 FET pregnancies were always ahead of dates, so I think it really varies person to person, and can be down to genetics etc

So sorry for your loss x

Hi,
I'm really sorry for your loss. I hope your wife has had treatment and I hope you're both processing everything as well as you can at this stage.
I just wanted to give you a little hope if you do need a further egg collection (although I very much hope that you'll be holding one of your current frozen embryos in your arms one day not too far away!).
I had 19 eggs collected on first IVF round and of the 10 that fertilised we only got 1 suitable embryo - a 3BB which never implanted. Most of the others did make Blast but were very bad quality.
Our second round, we changed up diet and added in lots of supplements and I also had reflexology. Crucially, we also changed our drug protocol (stims swapped from Bemfola to Meriofert) and it did make all the difference - only 9 eggs collected but 7 fertilised and we got 1 4AA and 2 x 4BA embryos. 4AA transferred and has stuck around for 13 weeks so far!
So just to say that, whilst it's an emotionally painful and financially expensive journey, a second round can have a really different outcome and I hope your clinic will work with you to tweak things to improve.
Sending you both lots of good wishes for the future