Would you go to this wedding?

[Borninabarn32]

I expected baby to be here by now. I'm now overdue but not having inductions or anything. I've been having pains for days. Wedding is this weekend. Obviously baby could be born between now and then and I wouldn't go with a days old newborn.

But would you go to a wedding an hour from home with a toddler at a week overdue after a week of pains? I have no idea what to do!

No

Nope, sorry. And I'm fairly blasé about these things...

No - you could pop at any minute.

Plus I can't even imagine how uncomfortable an hour of travelling would be each way. Shuddering at the thought.

No

No! I hope whoever is lined up to look after toddler while you give birth also has no plans to go to the wedding or be far away from you in any circumstances?

Good luck with the (sounding like it's soon) birth OP.

Nope

Absolutely not. Second babies can come much quicker so I wouldn't risk it or want to!

Nope!

Definitely no! Although if you're completely fed up and want to get baby moving it's a sure fire way to make sure you go into labour by attending, probably just as the bride and groom say I do for added dramatics. 😅

Oh that's a whole other issue! Most of my childcare options are there. My two alternatives, one is on holiday, the other is also pregnant and looks like she might have to be induced early.

It would have been very helpful had baby complied with my plan of being born a week ago but hey 🤷‍♀️

I feel terrible though, she's really important to me and I don't want to let her down, people have (as with any wedding) been a pain in the arse for her, I was supposed to be a bridesmaid and had to step down when I got pregnant, I feel like I should make the effort

No, I wouldn't go (and this is coming from someone who attended a wedding 2 hours away a few days before her due date - but past due date? No I really wouldn't bother, particularly if you're having pains)

Definitely not

No. Just phone the hosts today and say that you are probably going to have to go in to be induced on Friday so obv you can’t come. Or say that you have high blood pressure and your midwife says not to travel.

Unless the bride is your sister or best friend they won’t care about the details. You can always say that plans changed later.

BTW I’m giving you excuses to give to the bride because I can tell that you are the kind of person who needs them and is worried about upsetting or offending . Because anyone else would have said no months ago when you worked out it was on your due date.

Giving a few days notice means that maybe they can change the numbers for the meal or invite someone in your place ( maybe someone’s plus one etc).

Me.. I'd see how I felt on the day.. if baby hasn't come already. If feeling fine, I'd be tempted to go for the ceremony.

But I'd also consider.. how far is wedding from the hospital?

I’d wing it and see how things were going. It’s still a week away, you could easily have another week before baby makes an arrival after that. I was having pains for weeks and never went in to spontaneous labour, just got 2cm dilated. It totally depends how you’re feeling the day before I think, surely the bride and groom will totally understand if you have to pull out very last min.

This was my plan, then this morning I thought OK let's get our clothes ready. I have two dresses that fit me, a white one and a black one. DP has put on some sympathy pregnancy weight and DS is a toddler so doesn't wear smart clothes. And it just dawned on me that you can't just wait and see if you feel up to a wedding on the day.

Do I take my hospital bag with me? And go to that hospital? Or come home? It's all just become so daunting.

I would go personally but I enjoy weddings and when I was overdue with mine I was so bored. A wedding with people I loved and cared about would have been a tonic.

I'd bring a labour bag in the car and a bag for toddler if they endes up staying with someone and then if needed drive to own hospital if only a hour away unless your first labour was very quick. I have 4 children my. Shortest labour was 7 hours.

@Borninabarn32 right now I'm DEFINITELY more concerned about the fact that you seem to be saying none of your potential toddler care is easily available over the weekend! This sounds like a MUCH bigger issue TBH.
Are you displacement worrying? 😂

Very legit point! Part of me is thinking that going to the wedding and having fun and dancing would bring on labour. But maybe I'm finding it easier to stress about not having clothes for a wedding than about having no childcare for the birth 😅

No definitely not. X

It’s only Tuesday! A lot can happen by the weekend. And I don’t know why you ever said yes to going in the first place? You can’t feel bad for not going.

Probably not. I would go with a newborn though if all went well.

I would go for a few hours if there is no indication of labour to start, but have a backup plan to go to the hospital at the first slight indication of labour

I went, we were there 10 hours. It was lovely and I was so glad I didn't miss it and got to see alot of people I haven't seen for a long long time... I'm still very much pregnant.

Sounds lovely! I am glad you had a nice time