Second pregnancy after trauma

[hes88]

I so want a second child but my first birth was traumatic and overall just scared to risk going through birth again. Any positive stories or advice on here please?

Some facts about me/my first birth:
I am about to turn 36 so if I was able to get pregnant in the next year, would be 36/37 when giving birth.
I am 5’2 and fluctuate between 8.5-9 stone (so quite small) with no known health conditions other than IBS/very mild asthma and have had a few episodes of anemia (iron and folate).
My first pregnancy was textbook other than around the 30th week, baby shot up to 90th centile, tested neg for gestational diabetes and baby remained at the 90th centile up to and including birth.

First birth was 14 hours from waters breaking to baby arriving. I did vomit quite a lot and by time baby arrived, id not had anything to eat or drink (few sips of water) in 24 hours. I got to 10cm dilated on a little gas and air and I had a small amount of remifentinal before i had to start pushing. I pushed for 1.5 hours but failed to progress so I was given episiotomy and baby was born with ventouse assistance. The cord snapped. I had active management of 3rd stage but placenta was still delayed to come out and then came away in “strips”. I went to theatre for episiotomy repair and to check placenta had fully come away. In theatre, I chose to be awake, and during the procedure, I haemorrhaged 3.5l of blood, lots more vomiting and was treated for sepsis. I had shown signs of infection at 6 hours in but this wasn’t treated at that point and it was never confirmed if it was sepsis or another infection. I had blood transfusion, IV antibiotics, liquid replacement, uterotonics and bakri balloon. Reason for haemorrhage was concluded atony and tears. I was tested for clotting issues and none found. I was discharged 3 days later and requested a debrief twice which never came as I was assured it would. Physically I was fine after, apart from a couple of panic attacks and chest pain but this only happened in the first few days after. I did have flashbacks and intrusive thoughts for a year after until I went back to work. I found a private midwife to go through my notes to help me understand what happened but I feel like she missed quite a few details and I still ultimately don’t know which of these things might have caused atony.

Am I ridiculous to even consider another pregnancy? Am I irrational for thinking I might die if I did go through with another pregnancy? I am worried I would panic because of previous experience if I were to give birth vaginally again which might lead to failure to progress again and I wouldnt consent to an assisted delivery this time so think emergency c section risk would be high for me. I think there is generally thought a higher risk for bleeding in a section but i find research proves this not as simple as it seems and an elective section might be best choice for best outcome all round for me but I find the thought of a section scary too…

This is almost word for word of what happened in my first birth. Baby also wasn’t breathing when born and spent 7 days in NICU. I’d say what helped me was therapy to learn mechanisms to use when I’m starting to feel nervous during labour, and also to talk through what happened with someone totally out of the situation. I found it also helped to really stress how nervous you are second time round to give birth. I found the midwives and doctors/consultants I saw during my second pregnancy were a lot more prepared by time I gave birth to my second, and I lost just 1L as they were on it so quickly that time. Recovery was much better too and baby was fine.

Youre always going to feel nervous and scared when that is your first experience. But I think if the hospital is fully prepped on your situation they do handle it well. Im now pregnant with baby no.3 and hoping for a 3rd natural birth, and hospital have been great at making sure they’ve done everything they can in preparation (increased scans, iron tablets, more antenatal appointments). Good luck!

Thankyou so much for your reply. It’s nice but sad to hear someone had a similar experience and managed to push past it and go on to have better birth experiences. I was so lucky my baby was fine all the way through so didn’t have that worry on top, can’t imagine how you felt with added worry of baby’s breathing!

Yeah it wasn’t nice but we made it! I think definitely go for it if you’re thinking to, just make sure your hospital are aware of your concerns 🫶🏽

Hello, I had a very traumatic first birth. I’m also petite - 5ft 1 - was induced due to big baby and endured 5 days of hell. Had a forceps / emergency theatre birth and lost 2.5 litres of blood.

4 years later I had my second (via 2 miscarriages 😔)

They wanted to induce me again - I said no way. I asked them the latest date they’d let me try for a vaginal birth before induction. And then requested a C section for that date. They tried to talk me out of it ‘it’ll be easier this time’ but I stayed firm and reminded them of my trauma. It was fine in the end. My god it was a dream. Went at 7am and was booked in first of the day luckily. By afternoon I was sat there with baby in arms and a mug of tea! Recovery time wasn’t noticeably different to my first tbh. With my first it took me about 2 months to fully recover and even longer emotionally. I still cry when I talk about it. But my second within a couple of weeks I was fine.

Thankyou for sharing your story. So sorry to hear about your miscarriages also, that must have been tough after your trauma 😔

Amazing to hear your second birth was so positive. I worry if I did try and request a csection, I would be easily talked round if they didn’t agree with it. Did you find going back into theatre hard for your csection? Was your induction the cause of your bleeding first time round?

Thankyou so much for sharing 🫶🏻

Bless you, I read your post and completely understand where you are coming from. I also had a textbook first pregnancy and a horrible birth. An extremely long and drawn out back to back labour, vomiting constantly, shaking uncontrollably, I was also treated for sepsis, ended up with an emergency c section, haemorrhaged, ended up in high dependency, infected uterus and a lot of psychological trauma for 2 years, to top it off.

I actually waited 5 years to have my second purely because I was put off by the birth side of it. I ended up opting for an elective c section and it was a complete dream compared to the horror show of the first time. If you really want a second child then don't let your previous birth put you off because as soon as I said I wanted a c section they were completely understanding and there was no pressure to have a vaginal delivery.

Oh my god! That sounds like a horrendous experience. It sounds like you totally deserved your dream second birth!

Thankyou for sharing, its so helpful to know that even a birth like your first could have the opposite experience the next time

I'm clearly mad because my third is due in December 🤣 that will be an elective c section as well.
Honestly go for it, you obviously want another child and I assure you that your mental wellbeing and concerns will be taken seriously.

That’s amazing, congratulations!
Makes me feel so much better to hear stories like this, thankyou!

So sorry you went through this! Birth trauma is horrendous thing to go through.

I am not in the UK, so things might work a little bit differently where I am but I thought I would share it with you anyway.

I also had a pretty traumatic birth with my DC - I was 12 days late, so had pessary induction. It worked, but after getting epidural and another round of pitocin (IV), my contractions stopped and my baby was also born via vacuum assisted delivery. After that my placenta didn't want to come out - I had a few midwives & obgyn trying to remove it manually (luckily I didn't feel anything due to epidural).

Unfortunately nothing happened, so they told me it will have to be removed surgically. While I was waiting to be taken to the surgery I had a large hemorrhage (lost about 2.5l of blood). I got blood transfusions and was stabilized and taken to the surgery. I was also told it happened because of the uterine atony.

I really want to have a second child, but as you, I am really worried as well. My obgyn went through my hospital notes with me and it did help. For my next birth, we will create a plan of action and they will be prepared in case it happened again.

He suggested 2 different approaches:

• scheduled c-section (should be more calm and they will be ready in case there is a hemorrhage and can act immediately).

• I can try for vaginal birth and we will try to avoid interventions (his assumption was that my atony was due to too many interventions). So in case I would go over my due date again, we would go with c-section rather than trying vaginal birth.

To prepare for the second scenario I will be working with midwife who specializes in breath work & hypnobirth.

I think pretty calm having 2 different plans and what is definitely the most helpful is that I trust my obgyn.

I would recommend having a detailed plan and finding obgyn / midwives who you feel comfortable with.

Currently 32 weeks with my second after a very traumatic birth with my first. I was determined to get a planned section this time and the doctors and midwives have been nothing but supportive, in fact I was booked in for the section at 20 weeks!! There is a specialist midwife team at my hospital who deal with birth trauma in subsequent pregnancies, try to find out if anything like that exists where you are as they have been brilliant in supporting me. They have given me all the facts about c-sections, and actually said the statistics indicate there is no increased risk of a haemorrhage during a second birth or even a C-section. In my case they believe my uterus just couldn’t manage to contract because my body was so exhausted following a 3 day labour. Given my history, I feel confident they will be able to deal with any issues that arise as they will be prepared for it.

Agree with previous poster, it’s bad it has to happen this way but I do think you will be listened to and supported differently in a second pregnancy. Good luck whatever you decide x

Thankyou so much for sharing your story and also sorry you are feeling the fear too! It was so helpful to read your plan for going forwards and it definitely makes a lot of sense.

We do have hypnobirthing here but not standard with UK midwives (or not with mine anyway), I did do a course in hypnobirthing though before my birth but to be honest it went totally out the window and I didn’t feel that I was breathing like I had learnt to! But we can definitely use a course, or even hire a doula to attend your birth and advocate for you if you can afford to!

The hospital I’m under(probably similar in a lot of UK hospitals) you don’t have one assigned midwife or consultant, you just see who is available as you go along which means you never build up a rapport with any of your birthing team. Id never met the midwife who helped me labour before! I feel that it could have been so different if I had known my team on the day!

Thankyou for sharing! That’s so good that you had so much support for your section.

Did you visit the specialist team of midwives after you had become pregnant with your second?

Yes I had a referral made after my booking appointment, the community midwife recommended to go to just even use it as talking therapy. Was really nice to speak to someone and actually feel listened to instead of being fobbed off. The lady from the specialist team even came with me to see the consultant at 20 weeks to request the section to support me in making the request, not that I needed her in the end as the consultant was very understanding and sympathetic. It’s been like night and day the difference in how I’ve been treated this time compared to the first

That’s amazing! It sounds so helpful. If we do have another pregnancy, I’ll definitely see if we have access to a team like this!

Thank you 🙏

I think it was to do with the placenta but it was all hazy and I didn’t request the review in the end (I wasn’t sure if it would bring it all up again) They weren’t unduly concerned when I raised it in my appointments while pregnant with my second DS. I think it really depends on the consultant but they can’t make you so just be firm. You may find they are totally fine anyway.

Going into theatre was a bit nerve-wracking but I didn’t have to wait long and had my DH with me. But it was amazing to be so aware and able to hold my little one straight away. With my first I was 5 days in and barely awake with the blood loss after I’d given birth so it’s very hazy and they whisked him away to give antibiotics due to a possible infection. So the second was just an amazingly different experience.