Advice on safely taking a mini-break in second trimester

[Everlore]

I'm nineteen weeks pregnant with our first longed-for IVF baby. I suffer from severe anxiety at the best of times but, since becoming pregnant, my anxiety levels have been through the roof. My wonderful husband very thoughtfully suggested we go away for a mini-break this weekend, which is a lovely idea as we haven't gone more than a few miles from home since we found out I was pregnant as I've been so concerned about causing my baby any harm. However, thank god, my pregnancy has been surprisingly straightforward so far and our baby girl seems to be growing and developing well so now seems like a good time to take a brief, much-needed break.
We'll be travelling in the car for about four hours each way and will be stopping off at a service station mid-journey, taking plenty of water and juice to drink enroute and I'll be wearing compression stockings to minimise DVT risks. I'm also a little anxious as I've been eating very healthily throughout pregnancy, avoiding UPFs and sticking to healthy balanced home-cooked meals. Tonight we're staying in a hotel which is just off the motorway and has a Mcdonald's next to it. My husband suggested we eat there as it's been ages since we last had a Mcdonalds. Some things I've read online suggest that fast food can be very bad for unborn babies but would it really be dangerous to eat there once during my pregnancy? We typically leave a couple of years between visits anyway!
I know I'm definitely over-thinking this but just wanted some reassurance that I'm doing all I can to reduce travel risks and that I'm not been excessively reckless to eat fast food once during my entire pregnancy. Thanks.

It's completely understandable that you feel anxious - but please try not to worry. You are not going to put your baby at risk by going on a long car journey or by eating a McDonald's for one meal! Enjoy your break and try to relax - and you might find it helpful to chat with your midwife at your next appointment about your anxieties, as there is perinatal mental health support out there which could really help you.

I think you need help for your anxiety.
Eating a Big Mac once or twice in pregnancy will not harm your baby.
Your anxious mindset is stopping you from having a normal life at the moment, though. Does your midwife know about this? She could offer you support.

You don't need compression stockings to go on a car journey, either, unless recommended by a doctor.

Please reach out to your midwife for help with your anxiety OP.

For what it’s worth, I’m pretty sure I was single handedly keeping our local Mcdonalds in business (and the local Chinese takeaway, and the local cake shop🥲) when I was pregnant, now have a beautiful healthy nearly 5 month old baby girl.

I have IVF baby (20 weeks), and I am sharing your anxiety with you. I think it is perfectly normal to feel that way after all the things we had to go through to get this far. I wish I could share tips how to manage it, but everyone is different.

We are on a coach holiday at the moment, and I don't think it can be harmful for the baby in any way, but tiring for us. The worst I had so far is lower back pain from sitting that much on the bus and train. However, it definitely worth to have a break :D

Ohh, and don't worry about eating fast food once or twice during the pragnancy. I think you are doing fantastic for cooking healthy meals, not all of us can say this about themselves (I can't. My appetite is low, I find it difficult to cook, or coming up with a recipe that I would lie to eat)

I echo comments above. I think you need to seek help for your anxiety. It can easily spiral post partum.

I'd avoid water ski-ing, abseiling, white water rafting or three day eventing.

A four hour drive with a service station break is not a problem and you don't need compression stocking. Enjoy your maccy D's but you may be pissed off with your DP for being cheap.

As others have suggested, clinical support for your anxiety may be helpful.

I have had several McDonalds' through my pregnancy and currently at 35 weeks and looking good! It's good that you're self-aware about your anxiety; all your plans sound completely reasonable so try to give yourself permission to relax and have fun.

I lived on McDonald's sausage McMuffins for at least 12 weeks of my pregnancy.

You don't need dvt stockings.

I think you really need to speak to your midwife about your anxiety. I understand it, I had a very complicated twin pregnancy after three MMC but you do need to get a handle on it.

Thanks so much for your kind responses. I feel much more reassured now. It really helps to get feedback from other people. I know I have a tendency to catastrophise and one thing I have discovered during my pregnancy is that Google is not my friend as searching for anything related to pregnancy on there inevitably leads to some website of dire warnings of what will happen if you eat or do whatever you were enquiring about!
I am sure I'll enjoy our mini-break once we set off and I will have a Mcdonalds without too much guilt after all! I think it's because I've been obsessing about healthy food so much during pregnancy that a Mcdonalds has started to feel like something really forbidden. However, the more I think about it the more I really would like to eat something a bit naughty just once so Mcdonalds it'll be, it might not seem like much of a treat but it will be for me after months of only eating super-healthy food and few treats!
I will speak to my midwife about my anxiety, it definitely is affecting my quality of life and is probably driving my husband mad, though he's very patient and supportive!
I'll also leave the compression stockings at home!
Thanks again.

Completely agree with all of the above advice. We’ve had 3 miscarriages and now pregnant with 4th attempt (hopefully doing better this time) so I totally get the anxiety. We’ve been doing no UPFs etc as well, which I do think is a good thing, but I also think it’s important to have some treats and not worry about it all the time. My sister in law is a GP and she says it’s about making incremental changes, not about doing everything perfect 100% of the time. So making lots of small changes most of the time is still really helpful even if you don’t stick to the healthy diet every single day.

Glad you can talk to your midwife about it, she can refer you to the perinatal mental health team for more tailored support. Enjoy your trip 😁

When I was pg the first time I was in a role that required me to do very great deal of travel. i travelled to the US when I was 18 weeks. i travelled to Nairobi at 23 weeks. i had to be cleared by my GP and HR (who were more anxious about it than my GP).

I think what you plan sounds great. And certainly do-able. You are going by car so you have the chance to stop and rest or walk around as needed. I'd just enjoy it.

Also- compression stockings never worked for me. Maybe I was doing it wrong but they only gave me bruising.

Thanks, I do need to remind myself that it's ok not to be perfect all the time in terms of diet, especially because I have had a tendency in the past to develop unhealthy food related preoccupations and I definitely want to be able to model healthy attitudes toward food for our baby in the future, I don't want to pass on any of the food and weight hang-ups that were quite prevalent when I was growing up.
Really looking forward to our trip now, we're going to the Taylor Swift exhibition at the V and A, we're both massive Swifties and really wanted to catch it before it closes in a week, should be amazing!

Please get some support for anxiety, that’s not normal. Plenty of people travel long haul during pregnancy with no issues. You really don’t need compression socks, why is it any different to me sitting at a desk for a couple of hours

It's completely understandable that you're anxious but this is over the top - a mini break sounds like just what you need. One McDonald's is not going to harm your baby! Take your notes and make sure you know where the nearest hospital is in case of emergency but otherwise relax and enjoy some time to yourselves before you have a newborn!

Please ask your midwife to refer you to the perinatal mental health team for support. You do not have to live like this.

I have been following a healthy, calorie controlled diet for quite a while now, OP, and I understand the craving for some utter crap like a Big Mac!

Luckily, the nearest one to us is a hundred miles away, so I only indulge about once every six months.

I really hope that you enjoy your trip with your DH.

@Everlore think ahead to when little one is here. Will you ban them from UPF and Maccies? Or encourage them to eat healthily in general and have treats in moderation? Now apply that thinking to little one whilst they are still part of you.

You've done such a grand job already by being so disciplined with your diet and lifestyle, and by owning your anxiety and recognising your triggers (and there is no bigger one than IVF, so I utterly get it). You've got this (but if you do need support please do seek it from the ante/peri natal teams.

My advice? Head to London - with service station stops for the inevitable wees, scoff your Big Mac, enjoy a couple of nights in a bed you don't have to make and relish your hotel breakfast. Spend precious couple time with DH, before your trips become precious family time in the future.

DD was at the V&A last week and said it was fab. For what it's worth, her nutrition for the first 5 months of my pregnancy was mostly via Salt and Vinegar crisps. She's now 25 . . . .

Have a lovely break

Hi lovely. I really do understand your anxiety and how unless you get help now it will spill over into post partum…it happened to me .
Enjoy your MacDonalds …I haven’t had one for ages and am now craving a double cheeseburger 😊