When to tell close family?

[Thisismyusernameee]

Hi!

I know this is a very personal question, butttt I just don’t know how long to wait? I’m super close to my mum and already feel bad for not telling her (I only just found out and I’m around 4 weeks, so super early).

In the UK you don’t get a scan until week 12! Or a first midwife appointment until week 8-10 so seems such a long time to wait…

What are people’s experiences, if they have a positive family relationship and how long did you wait?

Thank you!

I told my mum and sister, 2 best friends and in laws within a few days of testing! If anything was to happen, I would have needed them for support. I had HG with my 1st and knew id need them for support with that too as i was extremely porly and in hospital by 7 weeks...so they would have guessed anyway.

Then we started to tell others from 14 - 16 weeks

My mum, dad and sister knew since I got my positive test but we didn't tell anybody else until we had our scans to know baby was ok. Didn't tell most of people until the baby was born.

We told both sets of parents and my sister at just over 7 weeks once we had had our first scan (in my first pregnancy we told them at just under 8 weeks, but I miscarried just over a week later). Couldn't really avoid telling my family as we were visiting them on the day of the scan and they would have immediately been able to tell because I wasn't drinking any alcohol! We didn't tell anybody else, including extended family, until after the dating scan and combined screening were done.

It's a very personal choice - if you're close to your family and you think it will be helpful for them to know so that you have some support in the first trimester when you might not want to tell anybody else, then go ahead and tell them. The other consideration is would you want them to know if the worst happened and you had a miscarriage? If you would, then that's another reason to let them know sooner rather than later.

I told close family about 7-8 weeks, and a few close friends. I then had a miscarriage at 11 weeks. I actually found it easier to then share the miscarriage news. And I really appreciated their support. I’m still very pro telling early, I told early again with my current pregnancy. Just consider who you think you’d be happy to tell if it did unfortunately end in a loss. Even 12 week scan doesn’t guarantee everything’s fine. There’s no benefits to earlier scans unless you have medical need like bleeding or pain

Didn't tell family until I was 16 weeks first time around. But it depends on your relationships. If I had had an early loss, I wouldn't have wanted to talk o family about it.

It depends how close you are to family. I’ve also known/ seen as normal for people to wait till 12 weeks to tell due to higher risk of miscarriage. Depending on personal circumstances.

I told my best friend around 8 weeks as was meant to be going away but was too ill. Told parents/ siblings 12 weeks and due to high risk pregnancy we told the rest of the family at 20 weeks.

if we had another one we would wait till 20 weeks due to risk/ shorter wait for pervious children.

Thank you all for all your messages!
I was going to wait until 12 weeks for the same reason everyone waits - but then I’d really like my close family to be there for me if things don’t go well. I hadn’t thought about this.

So we've decided to tell only our parents on week 5-6, close family at 12 and whoever else after that just naturally..

Thank you!

With my family I share only relevant information so I hide signs of pregnancy. Take my own tea bags and swap them over just before making myself a brew sort of thing.
With my in-laws we don't tell them but I will ask for decaf drinks and be open about not drinking just not saying aloud it's because I'm pregnant. We found out we were expecting my daughter a week before Christmas and my pregnancy sickness started on the 23rd Dec. My mil guessed straight away but we adopted a ask me no questions and I'll tell you no lies approach. We told them after the first scan. We didn't tell my family until 17 weeks

We were in holiday with my in-laws when I found out I was pregnant a second time. I don't know if my mil noticed me not drinking or eating cheese in the 2nd week. I miscarried a few days before they came to visit. We didn't tell them but didn't hide that I was going through something and had hospital appointment, was off sick and needed breaks. Some times a person doesn't have to have the whole picture to be supportive. I would have told them but my partner didn't want to and his parents his rules

I'm 16 weeks tomorrow and still haven't told anyone just don't feel ready too. We get married in 3 weeks so might just announce at wedding

Can you get an early viability/reassurance scan? We did this quite early on and then told my parents. I told my best friend as I was doing the pregnancy test! Just whatever you're comfortable with x