Miscarriage? What to do if it is the worst news?

[elm26]

Hi everyone I’m currently 7 weeks pregnant with baby number 2, I’ve had multiple miscarriages and have multiple D&C’s before as my body doesn’t seem to pass them naturally.

I had a scan last week which showed baby has a slow heart rate and measuring 5 days behind. I’ve had bleeding on and off since positive tests.

Anyway, deep down I feel it that this baby hasn’t made it, brown spotting has turned to red is on and off. I have a scan Thursday to see what’s going on.

My question is, I know if baby has passed that they’ll give me the option to either have a D&C or go home and pass naturally. I’ve never passed naturally before but I don’t know if I like the idea of sitting and waiting for something to happen, especially as in previous miscarriages it’s been 2 or 3 weeks of waiting and then they’ve suggested D&C. Also, I don’t really want to pass them when I’m on my own with DD and husband is at work.

I have to plan ahead this time as my Husband owns his own business, if he doesn’t work he doesn’t get paid and we have a 16 month old. So if the worst comes to the worst should I accept the D&C because it means my husband can move his clients and work around for the day and the following day as I know after anaesthetic you shouldn’t be in charge of a minor/drive etc for at least 24 hours and get it over and done with? I’m scared of the scarring it’ll do to my insides considering how many I’ve had. I’m worried I’ll never conceive again. Help!

I have never heard of scarring? I have had lots too and thought it was a suction thing. Nobody has ever talked to me about scarring and damage, I think if this was a big issue they would make people more aware. I would definitely go for the D&C, I found them quick and painless and felt ok within hours after. I passed one naturally and was in lots of pain and wouldn’t of liked to have to look after a small child on my own whilst doing it (felt like labour pains), also you don’t know when/if it will happen.

I'm so sorry you're going through this stress again. It's horrible. How many d&cs have you had? I've had 3 - the doctor said that there's always a risk of scarring/Ashermans but it's low. I think if I were to have to make the choice for a 4th I would go for the surgical option again.

Is there not a middle ground option tho? I got offered d&c, wait for natural passing or opting for medication that you take at home and kickstarts the process of natural passing for you? Once you take it they said all should be passed within 48 hours (I think, dont quote me Ive mentally blocked bits out) But in my experience I took the tablets (pessaries) and with 12 hours had passed the pregnancy- bleeds still went on for days/ weeks but was just like a period.

we were doing ivf and was told d&c could mean scarring and wouldn’t be allowed to start ivf again for 3 months with that option, and I couldnt bare to wait weeks for nature to take its course- to heartbreaking.

i hope everything works out for you 🤞🤞 sorry your going through all this!

So sorry to hear that you have been and are still going through this. I know there is a risk of scarring (Ashermans syndrome) but as Moosy89 has said the risk is pretty low. Nevertheless, the more D and C procedures you have, the more likely you are to get this, just being honest.
My recommendation would be that you have the procedure, wait a full cycle and then see if you can get a scan of your uterus to check for scar tissue because if you do have ant it is easily correctable I believe.

I'd probably do the D&C in your situation or, at the very least, medical management. Waiting for it to pass naturally is inconvenient and stressful.

I've had 4 D&Cs and it hasn't affected my ability to conceive (but I appreciate there's always a risk there).

Have you asked about progesterone? I think they should give it if you have a history of miscarriage and then are bleeding in a new pregnancy x

Late to the thread.. best of luck Elm26, I hope all turns out to be well.

If it is bad news, you can have medical management instead of the D&C. Might want someone to look after DD if you have friends or family..?

Late to the thread but I would recommend ladies google the risk of Ashermans to make sure it's something you are comfortable with as appetite for risk is all personal preference and the doctor's 'very low risk' was too high for me and found out too late. I also found that I didn't realise how much time it could potentially add on before trying to conceive again if AF didn't come back quickly, or you do need treatment for Asherman's which seemed more daunting being age 35+

That said, my AF didn't come back properly as of 6 months but got pregnant again first time we tried anyway so don't automatically freak out about Ashermans if it's a bit slow :)