Modern pregnancy

[cobden28]

I'm 69 years of age so well past childbearing, and my daughter (32) is five weeks pregnant. When I grew up in the 50's and 60's anything baby-related was very much as in the TV programme Call the Midwife but things had changed when I myself was pregnant in 1991. That baby I was expecting back in the early 1990's is now expecting a baby of her own, and as it's a good few years since i went through what she's going through over the next few months, is there a good book I couold buy from somewhere to keep me up to date with modern pregnancy and childbirth methods?

Also as this is the first grandchild on both sides of the family I'm naturally delighted but I desparately don't want to be seen as an interfering grandma-to-be. Are there any poiunts I should be particularly aware of?

What To Expect When You're Expecting is absolutely brilliant, highly recommend it!

My mum and dad have been great in that they just listen, tell me how great I'm doing etc, not really intervening, more making it clear they're on my side and I'm their baby and they want me to be OK. My mum took me shopping - she wanted to pay for stuff but let me choose. I appreciated that a lot.

So lovely that you want to get up to date on how things have changed.

I also recommend what to expect when you're expecting.

My mum/in-laws have made so many comments about 'back in my day we didn't do it like this, we did..., you should be doing...' etc. I have found this soo unhelpful. Just want to feel supported in how I am choosing to parent and be reassured I'm doing a good job. Best thing you can do is just listen, reassure and give advice when it is asked for.

You sound like a wonderfully supportive mum. My only advice would be to wait to be asked for advice! She will want to do things her own way, we are biological animals at the end of the day and have an innate sense of what is best for our own babies. Let her instincts guide her, support her, and when she is struggling and reaches out be there for her (which I’m sure you will be). Also offer up to watch the baby whilst she naps, or just has a break, I wish I had that.

Expecting Better was my favourite pregnancy book - it gives the “why” behind all the recommendations.

You sound like you’ll be a lovely grandma! Word of warning - my mother in law takes everything I do differently than she did as a person attack - even carefully couched in “oh isn’t it funny how recommendations change, but I can’t argue with his doctor,” as if I’m accusing her of trying to kill her grandon or having permanently damaged her son. No?? But I’m not taking 30 year old advice over what the doctor said an hour ago. So just roll your eyes, advice will be different again in another 30 years!