Pregnancy announcements

[Nmcl40]

I am pregnant at 4 weeks and very early days. I am worried about announcing to friends as we had such a negative reaction when we had confided that we were planning to have a family soon. One couple had started arguing with each other saying that they wanted kids soon and I got told off for telling them. They are going to find out eventually. Anyone any advice?

I’m so sorry to hear this OP, it is so crappy that your friends responded that way.

when I was pregnant the first time I told a friend who I knew wanted to conceive soon as well (but wasn’t actually trying at that time) and it was like someone had put a pin in her balloon. So disappointing.

I would do any kind of announcement that you like - social media, cute little Etsy edit … but maybe drop the friends you are concerned about a line first. Just message them over WhatsApp and saying we have some good news and maybe the scan photo? Then you don’t actually have to face their in person reaction but you have got the worrying people out of the way.

how they feel about your pregnancy shouldn’t be your problem lovely. 🩷

Congratulations on your pregnancy. That's a bizarre reaction from your friends, it's not a competition on who has a baby first and anyone else's opinion is not your problem so try not to give it too much head space.

Personally I didn't tell anyone until I was at least 12 weeks and I didn't do the big announcement, just told close family and friends either face to face or dropped them a message and everyone else found out when I started showing 😆

Get new friends!

Congratulations 😀🎉

I know it can be a touchy subject. I just didn’t think at the time as I was so excited. We aren’t really social media people so we were thinking of dropping our friends a message when the time is right. I am so excited to tell people but I know it is early days so I want to wait as long as possible

I would suggest that rather than thinking about who you tell based on their reaction, think about who you want to know based on who you would like support from in the early stages. So for example I told my mum & sister, and 2 best friends who both were also pregnant at the time. They were the people that I wanted to be able to support me if anything went wrong, but also who I trusted for advice etc. Everyone else found out when I was about 14 weeks (to coincide with FILs birthday, as per husband’s wishes).

If these are friends who will support you in early pregnancy, tell them as soon as you like. If they are going to cause you stress and anxiety and be general dickheads, they can find out when everyone else does.

I'm a very private person and don't like sharing unless I have to.

Even thought pregnancy is an exciting time, I would only tell the people I want to tell (which for me is my mum and my best friend) and then keep it quiet until people notice it. I've realised that keeping things private is the best way to you're not dealing with unnecessary drama and you can deal with your own things at your own pace I guess

yes. I don’t know why I also just feel nervous to tell my dad. My mum already knows we were planning so I think she is expecting it. But like my mum and dad have 4 of us

I didn’t tell people until necessary because (after multiple rounds of ivf) I knew pregnancy announcements can be absolutely heartbreaking.

Unless you are certain the reaction will be positive and the news won’t cause hurt- messages are kinder so people can process in their own time. A friend got pregnant during my last round of ivf and sent me an absolutely lovely message saying she understood if I needed time, space, hugs or tea and it was beautifully worded. I was genuinely happy for her and knowing she’d be so kind meant I was absolutely fine . I’m now pregnant and will be doing to same to friends when I’m ready to share . This time I’m likely needing to tell sooner because I’m already showing at 9 weeks.