Scared and in tears - What if it’s bad news again -

[lethisbetheone]

I had a loss at the start of the year at 9+4 weeks.

I’m currently 17+1 weeks pregnant and have a private gender scan booked for tomorrow afternoon.

I will have to go to the scan on my own tomorrow.

Since this afternoon I’ve been in tears and so anxious. What if it’s bad news again? How will I cope?

Last week I had my first counselling session and I’m currently reading a book on pregnancy loss BUT Pandora’s box has been opened due to the previous loss and I can’t stop thinking I might receive bad news again.

I’ve had pelvic pain all day today and at my 16 week appointment this morning I was told it was normal. I didn’t have this sensation in my first pregnancy so this is adding to the anxiety.

Anyone else feel / felt the same?

Try not to worry!!! You are much further on than before and the chances of anything happening now are very low, try and enjoy your pregnancy and keep your stress levels low! Put your feet up with a book and some chocolate! Works for me xxxx

You are much further on now, the chances of bad news is very slim but I understand the anxiety. I had a MMC at 12 wks in Feb and I have my NHS scan tomorrow (I should be 10wks) and I'm absolutely dreading it terrified of hearing those awful words again. Hope your scan goes well 🩷

I know they don't recommend it but for me after a miscarriage I bought a Doppler off eBay and being able to listen to the baby's heartbeat was so reassuring for me. Obviously it should never be used in place of seeking medical attention if anything feels unusual but it may be an idea xx

You are much further along, so chances are everything is ok. Keeping my fingers crossed for you.

And FYI I started getting pelvic pain at 15 weeks and it turned out to be the beginning of PGP.

Pregnancy after miscarriage is incredibly tough. A wise person I was talking to described miscarriage as a “loss of innocence”, which I think is so accurate. I had a silent miscarriage and could never look at the sonographers screen again, even when I was told that everything was fine. But that’s how I chose to cope.

I had two very easy pregnancies within 3 years of my miscarriage so it doesn’t mean things will go badly for you again, especially as you’ve got so much further along this time. But I know that’s probably little help to you right now.

Take one day at a time. Keep telling your midwife and sonographer your fears and they will support you. Sending hugs, because I’ve been there and know how you feel. X

@BabydueJan98 @MyGentleNavyTiger @SoHotandPregnant87 @jellyfish2 @mumma123xx thank you for your kind words.

I had my scan this afternoon and all is well.

Still can’t believe it. We are having a girl.

Pregnancy after loss is such a minefield and I wish I still had my “innocence” quoting @MyGentleNavyTiger’s wise person ☺️ but I also believe the experience will hopefully make me a stronger person.

Next milestone will be the 20 week scan in 2 weeks. I think I will celebrate todays milestone by purchasing a little outfit and some maternity underwear
xxx

I had a loss at 12 weeks. Next pregnancy I hated going for scans. Kept it only to the necessary ones. I just kept telling myself there was nothing I could do about the outcome. Tried not to think about them until the day of to minimise the worrying.

@lethisbetheone congratulations 🩷

I’m really pleased for you!! Xx

Glad it went well. I'm 34 weeks now, and just being honest, the anxiety of pregnancy after loss doesn't go away! Mine has gradually lessened though. And please ignore PP's comment about Doppler, this really won't help. If you're concerned, call triage and they can monitor properly.