Tips on not ripping down there during labour?

[Lemonmiracle]

Hi, I'm currently pregnant with my 2nd baby and due at the end of the year.
With my first, I spontaneously went into (active) labour and my DD was born within 4 hours maybe less. She was tiny, 5lb 5 ounces with the smallest little head I've seen but the tearing and stitches was absoloute HELL. I WOULD LABOUR 50 TIMES OVER to avoid this again. I had 2 second degree tears toward the lower part of my vaj and had a clitoral tear which thankfully all healed but getting stitched was honestly so extremely painful that the midwives were actually getting annoyed at my reaction. Does anyone have any tips for not tearing down there I would really appreciate it

Have you considered a section? This happened to my friend and for her second she went for an elective and said it was amazing.

@Shibr I'm not too sure, I had an amazing experience giving birth vaginally, it was not overly painful for me personally and was quick... the aftermath of course was mental with all the tearing. I will look into it this time :)

Also due my second and trying to avoid this after tears & poorly healed episiotomy the first time. 🙈 I've been recommended to use olive oil on a cotton wool pad after going to the toilet, to make sure skin is stretchy. Plus perineal massage and avoiding pushing on my back if I can help it. Would love any other tips

That sounds horrible! Honestly I think allot of the advice to avoid tearing is gimmicky. Tried the perennial massage once, never again. The only thing that's likely to help is giving the body time to relax and push the baby out slowly and gently. Have a look at hypnobirthing, plenty of courses around. Both times I've used the breathing techniques and got into an upright position so that gravity does some of the work, not torn either time.

If you laboured that quickly the first time the second may well be even quicker - it’s the speed which can lead to pain and tearing. It’s called precipitous labour.

@kc92 I can't explain why but I really struggled with perrineal massage last time? I just couldn't do it I'm not sure why but felt very uncomfortable. I will try the olive oil tip from 36 weeks onwards sounds like a good way to make the skin more supple!! And I did push on my back!!

@Chasingbaby2 thank you for the tips, I did do hypno birthing and it was working great. I wasn't vocal/noisy (not that its wrong tp be so!!!!) And saved alot of energy but towards the end I was pushing and breathing slowly and midwife told me "one big push, you can do it baby is almost out" and that's when I felt the ring of fire and she slipped out and probably when the tearing happened

@WolabiMe I agree, the big push at the end is what tore my clitoris off as I felt the rip sorry for the t.m.i

I used the aniball device as I had horrendous fears about tearing, along with geting my husband to do the perineal massage as like you i just couldn't get the hang of it... My placenta didn't come out, so I had to go to surgery to have it manually removed. My midwife genuinely couldn't believe I'd had a doctors hand inside my uterus without any sort of tearing. So I would highly recommend it! I believe there's a similar device also available now called something like EpiNo? I used it for my second pregnancy too but that ended up being an emergency csection so I'll never know if it would have helped that time!

Labour on your knees not your back and breathe the baby out. I think your position last time didn't help.

My midwife genuinely couldn't believe I'd had a doctors hand inside my uterus without any sort of tearing

um, you know fisting exists as a sexual practice don’t you….

Yes probably! My midwife said the exact opposite, hold back and pant. That way the head came out super slowly. First time was a water birth, that helps too.

Agree with EpiNo

I think the ‘ring of fire’ happens to everyone (doesn’t it?). That’s what I read before. I actually had an episiotomy and it didn’t hurt one bit weirdly. Nor did it really hurt being sewn up. No idea why?!

perineal massage hasn’t been shown to help at all in research, sorry

This has got to be the most bizarre comment I've seen today

I'm with you OP the stitches are absolutely awful. I had a 2nd degree tear internally the 1st time, DD was only 6lbs 1oz but I only pushed for 12 mins (my notes said) so I think it was too much top quickly.

The 2nd time I had no stitches, I was absolutely ecstatic when the midwife said. DD2 was 6lbs 3 so not much different and also came out quickly.

I would recommend a water birth. Had that both times. Although I had an internal tear the first time the outside was fine. Try and give birth with your knees in and calves out. Gives the biggest space for the baby to pass through. Lastly try not to push too hard and let the baby move themselves down if you can. I learned all this from the naked Duola on Instagram. She's amazing. Definitely saved my bits.

Good luck x

Erm no, not necessarily! No ring of fire here.

I had episiotomy with an awful recovery with my first and i was absolutely terrified about tearing/being cut with my second but honestly she slid out, 3 hours labour and literally 2 pushes, it was amazing. I feel like once the first has paved the way the second is a breeze in comparison.

I tore both times so sorry not much help but first time I wouldn’t let midwives stitch it as it was so painful so they did it in theatre under a spinal block. Definitely ask for more pain relief if it’s stitching that was the problem.

I didn't really tear with second baby just a few stitches. You're already stretched out by baby no 1 so it should be okay. I had second degree tear with baby too but they did stand over and ask each other is it a second or 3rd degree tear.

Focus on hypnobirthing. I listened to one YouTube video a couple of times and practised and honestly it helped keep me calm and push with my body. You should feel your body pushing and that's when you push and let go once the contraction goes. If you're scared ask the midwife to keep a warm flannel so you don't tear and help the babies head once it's coming. She'll know what you mean as they're trained for that.

I know women use oil and stretch the perineium out but it always felt uncomfortable. You could try rubbing oil but I found the best thing to do was stay calm, breath and push with the contraction. Instead of screaming focus all the energy downstairs with the pushing.

When you say upright can you expand please?

I think there is evidence that a warm flannel before hand can help.

Thank you everyone for the great tips!! So far:
Ask for warm flannel
Avoid birthing on back if possible
Knees in calves out
EpiNo

Feeling alot calmer after reading all these thanks ladies. It was keeping me up at night lol!!

I said the same thing, I said it's extremely painful and they offered me gas and air and said its going to take forever to get me into theatre and were rolling their eyes as I had no epidural/gas an air for the birth so I assume they thought I'm exaggerating the pain lol. If I gave birth unmedicated but am struggling with stitches surely you would believe me. The internal and external vaginally stitches weren't bad but the clitoral tear they held my legs down for as I couldn't stay still

Sorry to say I tore in exactly the same place second time round and they had a smaller head 🫣 both in water too. I think if your going to tear your going to tear 🤷🏻‍♀️ it's bloody awful though but seemed to heal quicker second time round