Is it the right time to TTC??

[Dahliasings91]

My dilemma is in the title. Help please!

Context: I already have an almost 2 year old, who was conceived unexpectedly. Myself and DH adjusted well despite the shock, both managed to move up in our careers during the pregnancy and got on the property ladder so things worked out well in the end.

I returned to work after mat leave and am happy with my job (working P/T). I have just been offered a once in a lifetime role which is a good few levels above my current job and a lot more money, which I will be doing in my spare time. I'm meant to be starting in September. Hours are adhoc but the job is quite intense when I do need to work.

We have been thinking about TTC this month but I'm now getting the fear that if I get pregnant straight away and am successful it will mean I cant throw myself into the new role as much as I'd like - its a significant jump up in terms of expectations and responsibilities. The good thing with this job is that its adhoc so I can work the odd days even on mat leave if needs be.

Now wondering whether to delay TTC? Not sure if this is a slippery slope and there's never a good time to get pregnant. I'm just mindful that yet again I'm in a situation where I don't feel 100% ready and I dont know if I will be as lucky this time to have everything pan out as well as it did the first time..

Start now, absolutely no guarantee it will work. It might take several months.

Will you still be eligible for maternity pay from your employer? If so, why not give it a few months for the next role and TTC in the new year? I wouldn't rely on it conception being as easy 2nd time. Obviously if you are older, I wouldn't wait.

How old are you both OP?

If I was you personally and you are really keen on this work opportunity, I’d delay ttc to get my foot firmly in the door with the new role before taking time off.

However, that does depend on what impact the delay could have on fertility/chance to conceive. I’m 26 now with a 4 month old so if it was me I’d delay a couple of years knowing that 2 years in my 20’s really isn’t going to make huge amounts of difference in theory fertility wise, but if I was 38 for example then obviously 2 years delay could be the difference between conceiving or not so I wouldn’t take the risk.

Good luck either way! X

Thank you.

I'm almost 35 but I feel ready for a second which is likely to be our last so didn't want to have too big a gap (of course no guarantee with when we will conceive!)

Yes I will get maternity pay from my main job which is pretty good.

You are all right about not knowing how easy it will be to conceive!

I would probably wait a few months and get settled into your new so that I don't have to deal with potential early pregnancy symptoms.

I'd start now, a lot of people struggle to conceive their second and you may regret holding off. You don't need to religiously track ovulation or anything yet, but maybe just stop the contraception and see what happens.

My first only took 2 cycles. It was 4 years before I fell pregnant again.

We conceived our first in 5 months and our second (secondary infertility) after many investigations, surgery etc.. managed to concieve naturally after 3.5 years.

No one knows if you will or wont get pregnant straight away. If you're worried, settle into the role for a few months and then TTC? The job will still be there when you return from maternity leave but a baby is a no guarantee each month.

Thanks all - I value the opinions. I may be naive in assuming it will be as easy the second time around. I may just TTC without the ovulation sticks etc and see how I get along. Induction for the new role starts in September so that will give me an idea of what to expect from the role.

I probably wouldn't wait at your age (sorry) I got pregnant easily every time but there's no guarantee and also I had an early miscarriage when TTC the second which delayed things.
I think trying as in not using protection but not tracking ovulation for a few months is a good compromise!

I wouldn’t delay TTC at almost 35.

I'd base it on if there's any qualification period for maternity pay. In my job you have to have been employed for a year before you can get maternity pay.

Thanks all - I’ll still have my main job and I’ll get Mat leave from that which is quite generous.

This job is more of a contract position doing X amount of days a year so I probably won’t get Mat leave pay but it’s good that if I need some cash whilst on Mat leave I can do the odd day.

I think I have been lulled into a false sense of security as I got pregnant the last time because of an app fail when I was tracking my cycle and I wasn’t TTC. Now it’s almost 3 years on so I may not be so lucky again.