Is this normal?

[Loonaandalf]

I am 20 weeks pregnant and still haven’t met my midwife, is this normal? I havent been shown around the birthing centres or had a birth plan discussed with me. I would have thought by now, that I would have a midwife who sort of made me feel a bit more informed about things but I feel just treated like a number. I also still haven’t got the form I need for my maternity leave, the mat b1 form I think it’s called? They have been a bit all over the place with things, forgetting to book in my anomaly scan (which I’ve had now but it required a lot of chasing), forgetting to book my appointment with the consultant (who I needed to see at the beginning as it’s an IVF pregnancy).

My 10 week appointment was not supposed to be done by my midwife, it was at the hospital so was done by a bank staff midwife. I then was supposed to meet her a few weeks later at a community appointment but she was ‘called in’ the night before so someone else took her shift to see me. It was rushed and they were delayed.

It makes me wonder if this is a bad sign and given the news on maternity care recently I worry that they are half arsed with other important things.

I’m with Darent Valley if anyone knows about them, I did contemplate going with Guys & St Thomas as I’ve always had an amazing experience with them for non maternity appointments. It would be an awfully long drive for us in labour though(about 45-60 mins) but maybe it would be worth it, they have the same rating as DV though.

Ideally I’d love a homebirth but know there’s higher risks with first births and my hospital is a 15-20 min drive so not sure if be a good idea? Would a home birth even change anything? We can’t afford private.

It sounds like you’ve had the right appointments as per NHS list? https://www.nhs.uk/pregnancy/your-pregnancy-care/your-antenatal-appointments/
being shown birth centres / maternity wards isn’t something that’s done nowadays in my experience. And my midwife has only started to discuss birth options with me at my recent 31 week appointment. I think I got my Mat B1 at my 25 week appointment. Home birth wouldn’t change anything at this stage, likely they’d discuss that with you later on. I’d consider the distance to the hospital and current ambulance waiting times. If you’re seeing a consultant then surely that means you’re high risk and therefore I don’t know if they’re so keen to support home births? And obvious point but “your midwife” isn’t really a thing, it won’t be the same midwife for antenatal appointments and for your birth.

I'm British and my first daughter was born in a normal NHS hospital in the UK (during covid so maybe not typical?).

I never saw the same person twice - not midwives, sonographers, consultants or health visitors after the birth.
I was high risk and the first appointment I had with a consultant was around 23 weeks, we discussed that I would be having a section but that was about it. I was never shown round the labour ward or anything like that.
It wasn't till about 32/33 weeks that any birthing plan was put in place (which in my case was just to set a date for my section).

Oh and I really had to pester for the maternity form for work - don't think I got that till well over 30 weeks

If it's your first birth then you should have had an appt at around 16 weeks? Did you have that at the hospital or not at all.

I don't think a show round is standard (two births and never been offered one) - I think these were more common pre COVID but think lots of hospitals nevwr put them back in post COVID.

I didn't have my birth plan discussed til 36 weeks (never in my first pregnancy where I gave birth at 34 weeks!!). So 20 weeks would be very early for that

Do you have midwife appointments on regular basis? Mine were with whomever was at shift so I didn't necessarily meet the same person every time. I don't think there's any showing around (at least not where I live) and I only discussed my plan with an obstetrician when I met him at 7 months.

As this is your first pregnancy you should have had a midwife appointment at 16 weeks. Along with whooping cough vaccination etc.

Do you have a triage number you could call to chase it up?

I agree with a PP, a tour around the hospital isn’t really the done thing these days (sadly), I don’t think they have time for it.

As for the MatB1 form, that needs chasing as a priority as it needs to be given to your employers at least 15 weeks before your due date. I have read on here some cases where the DH’s employer received it too late and as a result they did not pay paternity. @sel2223 sounds like you were very lucky!

@emberp the joys of Covid. Not sure any of my experience was typical but had nothing to compare it to. It'll be interesting to see the difference this time round.
Thankfully a lot of allowances were made at that time.

I'm in Hampshire and the care usually goes like this:

• midwife booking in appointment 8-10 weeks.
• dating scan (11-14 weeks) at local maternity hospital.
• midwife appointment 16 weeks.
• anomaly scan (18-20 weeks) at local maternity hospital + whooping cough vaccination.
• midwife appointment 24/25 weeks where you would collect the MATB1 form.
• midwife appointment 28 weeks.
• after 32 weeks they are every 2-4 weeks I can't remember.

This is my third pregnancy and they've all followed this timeframe. I'm having an elective c section and I will have a consultant appointment next week at 22 weeks to discuss this. I've never had a tour around the hospital, but I do usually have the same midwife throughout my care unless she's on leave or is ill. Also, birth plan for previous children was discussed at like 30+ weeks.

You should have had a midwife appointment around 16 weeks - it's not a very interesting appointment, just blood pressure check, urine dip etc. but I was able to take a few questions to mine which was helpful. The MATB1 form isn't issued before 20 weeks (I got mine at my 25 week midwife appointment), and you wouldn't generally do your birth plan until after 30 weeks (I've just done mine this week in my 34 week appointment). I would chase up a date for your next midwife appointment as you should have had one by now - you should have contact details in your notes. Don't expect to necessarily see your "named" midwife though, I've only seen my named midwife once and have otherwise seen someone different from her team at every appointment.

Re: maternity unit tours, interesting that everyone is saying they're not really offered any more. My hospital still does them and I toured the maternity unit there last week - it was really useful, so it's definitely worth enquiring with your hospital as to whether they offer anything.

Hello! I'm 37wks into my 2nd pregnancy and though your experience is not ideal, it does sound normal for the UK at the moment.

It’s a bit of a postcode lottery as to what you get with some things, but a few things you’re asking about come much further along in pregnancy. The NHS website says what should happen at each appointment, so birth planning, for example, is officially discussed at the 36 week appointment but you can certainly ask questions before that. A pp has shared the link above.

I do see the same community midwife at every appointment, which is really nice. If I happened to go into labour on a weekend evening and wanted to birth in the midwife centre then there’s a chance she’d be my midwife for that too. As it happens, I requested an ELCS in my booking appointment and my midwife was totally on-board with that so I saw the consultant at 16 weeks and it was booked in then.

Tours are also very much available at any stage in your pregnancy too (in my area). You either need to request one via your midwife, or by contacting the ward. But my hospital encourage them as they think they make women more relaxed, particularly if they see both the birthing centre and the route to theatre so if that is needed on the day it isn’t so scary as it’s not totally unknown. My midwife actually phoned me one Saturday night at around 9pm to say that they were having a quiet night so she was ringing round to see if anyone wanted a tour that evening.

Living rurally, I don’t think a 45-60 minute drive is that bad because it’s the only option I have. The nearest hospital is around 45 mins with terrible parking and the maternity entrance is currently closed for a refurb and you can’t just get dropped off outside the main entrance. There are another 2 which are 60 minutes away in different directions. I was offered my pick of all 3. But I get that if you live in London and have a closer option then that drive may not be so acceptable, or something you are used to.

If you need your MATB1 form sooner then you can ask for it from your midwife or GP. The standard seems to be to issue it at the 25 week appointment but that doesn’t quite match guidance employers following the rule book exactly have. I asked for mine from my midwife at 20 weeks and I just popped in to collect it from the clinic. My husband’s employer were very strict about seeing it as close to 20 weeks as possible and they wanted the physical copy not a scanned version so it had to go to my employer first, get returned, and then go to his.

I’m not high risk, I only had to see the consultant as a once off as it was an IVF pregnancy and they wanted to be sure I am low risk which I am so far. I’m shocked by the level of inconsistency tbh.

Thanks I’ll get chasing about the form. I did have an appointment at 16 weeks, that’s when I was suppose to meet my midwife but she wasn’t available. The bank staff member mentioned nothing about the whooping cough vaccine, I remember they gave me a leaflet about it at 10 weeks and I expected them to mention it after that, I almost forgot about it as I assumed they would organise it but then ended up just booking it with the GP.

So it seems norm then but yes I need my matb- form really soon so will need to chase.

Check with your employer, but at my work, I had to fill in an internal form before I was 25 weeks, and they said I could send the mat B1 form whenever I had it.
Are you planning to do antenatal classes? They have been far more useful for us than seeing the midwife, the midwife is really there to pick up on warning signs in pregnancy.

I had my baby at Darent Valley in March 2023 and had the same community midwife at all my appointments, including my 8 week booking appointment. I do think in this area the hospital midwife team and the community teams seem to operate quite separately. I didn’t get offered a tour at all, I would have had to book it myself had I wanted to (I was quite happy just watching the video online, and didn’t end up at the birthing suite anyway due to induction).

Like another poster said, the appointment where we discussed birth plan was much later on, past 30 weeks. And whooping cough I also sorted out myself with the GP

Re the Mat B1 form even though all the information sources say that you'll be given this at your 20 week appt, you actually have to request it from them. They won't email a copy either so you may need to collect a physical one.
I thought it odd that I had to chase to get this information as surely with the current cost of living crisis most mothers are working but crucially as a first-time mother, how are you supposed to know (and remember) to specifically request this when everything is a bit overwhelming anyway.

Thanks, I got the mat b1 form easily but now I’m chasing my employer for a maternity application form, I only have a few more weeks to submit everything and they are so slow at responding.

That's the opposite of where i am - there's no physical ones anymore, it's an emailed one that should be sent automatically at 16 weeks.

It is a strange process - I did have a named midwife but I saw her once, she was on holiday or unavailable for every other appointment.

Tours you usually arrange yourself, if you want them. They aren't really standard anymore.

Birth plans are discussed a lot later than most people expect, I think we started talking about mine at 32 weeks but my midwife was not very interested, and then at 37 weeks she wanted to provisionally book an induction. There was no in-depth conversation. We were asked to fill in a birth plan, but as far as I'm aware, nobody ever read it.