Starting Again At 40

[Rachel313]

I'm hoping to get some advice from other mums who have been through a similar situation.

I had my 2 children quite young, they are 17 and 13 now. Sadly their father passed away 10 years ago.

I am now 37 and in a new relationship, and my new partner is very eager for another child.

I am extremely broody but this would mean I have raised children for my entire adult life. And I'm worried about regretting this decision in later life.

Has anyone had any experience of trying to get pregnant in their late 30's?

And has anyone started a second family later in life?

Any advice is much appreciated!

Yep me 🙌

I had my older 2 when I was early 20s they're now 18 and 16 this year....

I started again and now have a 3 year old and a 4 month old and I'm 39. I won't lie ..it's a lot harder to handle the tiredness than it was in my 20s but I wouldn't change it...my whole life raising kids...why not 🤣

I don't have older children but I did start again in terms of divorce and new partner, baby etc.

My first marriage we were childfree by choice and were together almost 15 years before we got divorced.

Aged 36, I met the man that is now my husband and we got pregnant unexpectedly, very early in the relationship (I was 37). I'm now pregnant again age 41.

I have no way of truly knowing how I would have been as a young mother but I do know i have a lot more patience now and we're able to afford a better lifestyle than i ever could have then. Yes, it's definitely tiring but I'm a lot less selfish these days than i was in my twenties and I think it makes me a better mother.

Good luck if you do decide to go for it

This is me! I had two babies in late my teens, and then started again 20 years later when I met my current partner. Had my third at 38 and expecting my fourth now at 41.
It might not be the exact way I’d have planned my life but that’s just how life works out sometimes! I’m very happy having another family and really wanted this. Won’t lie, it is physically harder doing it older, but on the flip side I’m able to provide more doing it at this stage in life.
I do wonder sometimes what life would be like without raising children but it’s literally all I’ve known as I was pregnant at 17. Good luck making a decision!

I love this, thank you!

I was really worried about the tiredness, like what if I just can't wake up lol!

This is exactly what I wanted to hear!

I'm actually really excited, but scared at the same time lol!

Could I ask did you have any problems getting pregnant later in life? I came off of my depo injection March 2024, and my cycles are just starting to come back.

Not me but my partner. He had a daughter at 25 with previous partner, and our son at 47. Now pregnant with our second at 51. He was unsure at first whether to have another because of his age, but had some counselling and decided to go for it. He is very hands on and does night feeds etc but managed OK. Lots of people comment about how he's constantly playing with our son and doesn't he get tired, which he does! But you just kind of pull through for the kids don't you. We obviously wish we'd met when he was younger, but them's the breaks and we'd have it no other way.

I had DC1 as a single mum aged 19, and DC2 aged 38 and DC3 aged 42, with a new DH who I met in my late 20s. I don't find it much more tiring although first DC was so long ago that I don't remember it well. I'm a sahm now so I don't have to juggle work with caring for the DCs.

I had such a big gap between DC1 and DC2 that I feel like I had a bit of a break during DC1's teens, I had time to myself and I know I'll have some time back once youngest is in preschool. Absolutely no regrets in having the younger DCs, I love having family days out and holidays with them, we have a lot of fun.

It took over a year to get pg with DC1 and less than a year for DC2, but I had another pg in between which resulted in tfmr. But I've had no miscarriages and I didn't need any fertility treatment.

I got married later in life and had DS2 this month I am 37 and would love another 1 or 2 kids so that would put me into my 40's unless I conceived twins!!!!
Not worried about it. Just Gods timing. I would have of course proffered to have children in my 20's but I didn't meet DH until I was 33. I wouldn't have kids with just anyone.

Also me! I had my eldest (now 23) when I was 21.
Remarried and had 2 daughters now 14 and 13 and then we had two more who are 5 and 3, when I was 40 and 41.

I am probably physically tireder than I was 23yrs ago, but equally I don’t really drink now, or go out, I don’t feel pulled in different social directions, I worked full time when 1,2 and 3 were little but I was able to take more time with the little two though I’m back working full time this year.

It does mean I have been doing a school run, constantly since 2005.

Thank you so much for all the positive responses 💜

No previous children, but I'm 38 and pregnant with my first baby - I was 37 when we started trying, I assumed it would take a while because of my age and the fact that I had been on the pill since I was a teenager, but we conceived on our fourth cycle. Unfortunately that pregnancy ended in a miscarriage, but conceived again on the third attempt and I'm now 33 weeks pregnant. I know everyone talks about women's fertility dropping off a cliff after 35, but from doing some reading up it seems as though that's largely based on some quite flawed assumptions from really patchy data, and actually there isn't that much difference in the likelihood of women in their late 30s getting pregnant compared with those in their early 30s. So if you want to do it, it's definitely possible. Good luck.

I'm 38 pregnant with first baby and like PP didn't find it overly challenging to conceive, it took about six months and that pregnancy is now at 33 weeks so not long to go. I have a good friend same age due three months after me who got pregnant on her second cycle of trying!

When we decided to try, I got pregnant straight away when I was 37, baby born when I was 38. We were conscious about my age and were lucky it worked straight away.

But we then decided to try for another two years later when I was 39 hoping to be pregnant before 40. But things had got a lot worse in those two years, we really struggled - found out my fertility levels were dropping fast. It took us 15 months of trying, 2 miscarriages, months of hormones and 2 rounds of IVF but we got our miracle pregnancy in the end! So yes, things rapidly decline around 40.

Thats not to scare you! Loads of women get pregnant in their late 30s and early 40s, but it’s just biological reality that it does get harder, so wouldn’t leave it too long if it’s what you want!

I’m pregnant with my first baby who is due six weeks before I turn 40! Got pregnant literally first time trying. I did have very regular cycle so knew exactly when I was ovulating and myself and my husband live a healthy lifestyle and took supplements for a year before trying. Not sure if they helped or not!!

I was 36 when I had my second it was absolutely fine, there’s an 8 year age gap with my first which does mean they aren’t particularly close but my eldest is protective and caring about his brother when it matters.

If it’s what you want and your relationship is stable and ready then go for it! I must admit the baby phase was tough with sleepless nights etc( even though I love it) but it passes.

Good luck x

1st pregnancy age 36/37 got pregnant second cycle of trying

It then took 4 years before i fell pregnant again and I'm now 7ish weeks age 41/42.

Not even a sniff of a BFP in those 4 years so very close to giving up entirely

My mum! She had 4 starting at 20 years old. Then a gap, then me and my sister in mid to late 30s.

Her only regret is she didn't have more!

I had mine at 41 and 43. They were my first but my DH had kids 13 and 15 when ours were born, and the eldest lived with us full time.
Course it's different but really only you can decide. By the way there was no jealousy or anything.

Similar circumstances but a bit younger than you at 36. Children are 16 and 13 and we have a four month old. Best decision I've ever made.