Hi all, strap in because I fear I shall ramble. I'm currently 32 weeks pregnant and everything is progressing well. Some background: I have an autoimmune condition that can affect conception, pregnancy and birth, and I had an early miscarriage at Christmas, which may or may not have been caused by my condition. No concerns about current baby (apart from the usual, irrational pregnancy anxieties from me, which most people probably get).
My partner of 3.5 years works offshore on oil rigs as an electrician, and is away for two or three weeks at a time every two to three weeks. The longest we have both been on dry land together is 9 weeks about three years ago. It was hard at the start because we fell in love very quickly during the second lockdown and things were very intense straight away, so every time he left felt like the end of the world for both of us. I'm very accustomed to the situation now and while I do miss him when he's away, I've lived alone before, and we text throughout the day and speak on the phone every night, so I manage fine.
The distance has felt much, much harder since becoming pregnant again, which was not helped by the fact I had some cramping and bleeding at 6 weeks while he was away and had to go to the EPU alone to find out whether I'd miscarried, and by me starting a new job a few weeks into my pregnancy with horrific morning sickness, also while he was away. I am carrying very big and low (measuring in the 90th centile) and have bad joints, so when he's away I struggle at home a bit and don't tend to go out much.
I'm feeling quite depressed being stuck alone at home so much during pregnancy, and am worried about how I will cope caring for a baby when he's working. The good thing is that when he's home, he's fully off the clock 24/7 so totally available. He is also incredibly considerate and cannot do enough for me, hardly letting me lift a finger. I know he will be an excellent father and will make sure I get as much time as possible to myself during his time off. He really misses me and our home when he's away, and he's sad that he's missing some pregnancy milestones. He's also really not looking forward to not being physically around for basically half of our son's childhood.
I'm wondering, can anyone who is pregnant, or has had a baby/child, and has a partner who works offshore/away relate to any of these feelings? How did/do you find it? What are the things you found made the situation more manageable for both of you, and for your child/children? What do you think the toughest bits of solo parenting are when they're away?
Thank you so much if you've read this far.
TIA x