Pregnant to a drug addict

[gemmaL90]

I'm currently 7 weeks pregnant and have recently found reminants of cocaine in my house, my partner denies using but ever since I found out I'm pregnant, he has been going out two or three nights a week and I have repeatedly told him not to come home on those occasions due to being exhausted and fear of arguing all night. I finally plucked up the courage to walk away from him on Sunday and he came over and collected his belongings from my home. I'm 33 with fertility issues and I want this baby more than anything but I feel so alone, vulnerable and don't want to be a single parent.. however I found out I was pregnant 3 days before my dad passed away and feel this was sent for a reason.. my head is all over and I don't want to tell my friends or family.

Is there one friend you could reach out to in order to feel anchored to reality and support while you think this all through?

Is he really a drug addict? How long have you know him? I know a few people who use recreational drugs but wouldn't class them as addicts.

I have my mam who is an absolute angel however she has just lost her husband of 40 years (my dad) 2 weeks ago and don't want to cause more upset. I have friends but I feel too embarrassed to speak

I have been on and off with him for 4 years and the reason we have broken up in the past is due to alcohol and drugs

Does he have a job and security? Is he doing this recreationally or whilst trying to live a normal life?? Have you asked him if he wants to be involved in the child's life if he can totally give up the drugs?

Only you can decide what to do. Personally, I wouldn't want to inflict a drug addict or alcoholic on a child. They will have a lifetime of being let down and coming second to his next hit. Is he likely to want contact?

Drug addicts don’t make good parents. They can’t do it - being addicted to coke or other substances is not compatible with the amount of time, dedication and selflessness that good parenting involves.

Being a single parent is really scary as a prospect, but you will be better off and happier well away from this man, and so will your child.

I speak as a professional who works with children in care, many of whom have two parents stuck in the cycle of trying to get clean and failing, or alternatively not trying at all. This man will not be the parent you or your child need him to be. You can do this alone and in the long term you will be happier and so will your baby.