Don't know what to do

[Casuallydresseddeepinconversation]

I'm 39, I have reduced fertility,I have a 12 year old and a 15 month old. I've just fallen pregnant again(same dad as youngest) I didn't return to work after youngest as childcare fell through, I don't live with the father of youngest,I have a very small 2 up 2 down house,he also only has a 2 bed house, I rent he owns. Well he wants me to have an abortion and I don't know what to do. Have no one irl to talk to about it

Take some time to think about it OP, don’t rush into anything. Having an abortion is a choice but it needs to be something you also want and agree with, it’s a big decision and not one to make lightly. X

I'm already having morning sickness, so I don't want to stay pregnant for much longer if I'm then going to have to go though a termination, obviously I'm very emotional but this would be my last chance to ever have a baby and for my youngest to have a sibling close in age,but my house is so small and when I go back to work it would be harder for childcare, but I just can't bare the thought of a termination, my sister is due to give birth in about 3 weeks too so it'll be so hard going through a termination while she's having her baby, admittedly in less than ideal circumstances too

I think you've answered your own question with 'reduced fertility' and 'last chance' good luck it's a tough decision but I'm sure you'll do what's best for your family

I'm so sorry you're going through this. Only you can know what is truly best in your circumstances, all I would say is don't rush such a huge decision and don't do anything solely because of pressure from others.
If you want this baby then you will find the way. No-one ever has enough time or money, circumstances are rarely perfect etc but women make it work around the world every single day.
Having said that, you also have options if this is not what you want and you shouldn't feel forced either way.
You have to do what is best for you and your other 2 children without any judgment.
Good luck with whichever path you choose

If I keep the baby I won't have any support, he currently works away Monday to Friday and obviously he doesn't want me to keep it,I don't know how I'd manage with a toddler and a newborn, but if I have a termination cause that's what he wants then I'd be done with him, we'd have no future at all ever,I wouldn't even want to look at him, he thinks another baby would affect the quality of.life of the existing children

@Casuallydresseddeepinconversation It wouldn’t be hard forever. Without wanting to sound harsh, You will never regret having a baby but the alternative could lead to regret. I really understand how you feel. Your 12 year old will be old enough later on to help you (I mean that he can help with housework/chores). I’m not suggesting he does all the child care etc just he can help out at his age.
The 2 year old will be at a good age to listen more and follow instructions too & may want to be helpful with the baby. I think the child care starts at 2 now anyway right? You’ll have a lovely little network surrounding you.
do you have friends/neighbours/family to help out at times?

I think realistically either way the relationship is over, so you need to decide if you can cope solo with them both.

I’d think it all through, can you afford another baby? Is he right, would it be detrimental to your current children?

Yes either way it's over, I would only speak to him to discuss access to my youngest, eldest isn't his, money would be very tight, going back to work would be difficult, my house is tiny and I can't afford to rent a 3 bed, rent would be about 500 more a month, but I'm pregnant now so

No I don't have a large support network, never have

I think you need to spend some time thinking about it and really sit down and comb through your finances/options, is another baby affordable, would your current children have to go without, are you capable of looking after another baby and your current children?

You have a lot to think about OP, it’s a difficult situation.

OP has clearly stated that she has minimal support, so no lovely network to help her. I never understand posters saying that someone will never regret having a baby. That really is not true. It is up to the OP which choice she decides to make, but she is the one who has to live the reality, not posters on here telling her things like this.

I can see above you said you can’t beat the thought of a termination. If you were both leaving it up to chance, it’s unfair of your partner to pressure you to have an abortion. He knows how pregnancy happens.

Do you see any possibilities you could improve your situation, as in:
Expand your support network
Receive government support in finances or housing?

In which city/country do you live?

This would be my third baby so I wouldn't get any government help financially, and if he doesn't want me to keep it i doubt he'll be very forthcoming with support, I'd have to go to csa, I've applied for social housing after my youngest was born and while they acknowledged I need a 3 bed so my son and daughter don't have to share due to their ages they won't let me actively bid for affordable properties

Hopefully he can be forced to pay support as it is also his child. Are there any support services/good will etc in your area? I wish I could help more but I am residing in the Netherlands and the system is quite different here. Maybe a social worker knows some ways to get more support or a bigger house? I know that in The Netherlands social workers tend to know some 'tricks' that can be very helpful.