Feeling Overwhelmed by What I Can’t Eat and Being Extra Careful

[BunnswithaBun]

New to this, so excuse the lack of acronyms. Newly pregnant (7 weeks) and feeling very overwhelmed by what I can or cannot consume. Also living with the inlaws who do not yet know. So I am avoiding eating with them (they are Japanese so eat a lot that I cannot eat), however, excuses are wearing thin and my meal choices are so particular when trying to follow guidance. I am trying to eat organic (I did before pregnancy due to the scandal of producers using over the allowed amount of pesticides), but I am paranoid when having to eat non organic (when a non organic vegetable/fruit isn’t available), checking all my meat is thoroughly cooked, only drinking water, as I can’t drink too much sugary drinks, avoiding soft cheeses, not being able to eat in restaurants in case they haven’t incinerated my meat and vegetables aren’t organic, the eggs don’t have the lion on, etc etc. I know I can ask the waiter/chef, but do they actually care? I got into a bit of a state about Sainsbury’s ricotta and spinach tortellini as they didn’t state on the packet if the ricotta is pasteurised. After contacting them, they confirmed several weeks later (!) stating it was, but can they be trusted? DH helps as best as he can, but I don’t think he quite gets it yet. Feeling overwhelmed. Conflicting information online and getting fed up with all the nonsense. Women used to drink and smoke in the 50s whilst pregnant. I am now struggling to eat and only drinking water, rather than anything I might enjoy more, such as squash. Any advice, be gentle. Thank you

Oh my days you poor thing! What
worries you are giving yourself. I don't know anymore what's considered safe to eat in pregnancy but I'm sure there are trusted nhs guidelines so I would follow that.

would you consider telling your in laws so they can help and put your mind at rest? And maybe some trusted female friends or relatives that have had children themselves? There's nothing quite like the support of good women when you're pregnant and having babies. Well actually there's nothing like the support of good women full stop! Good luck op I wish you all the best x

Hi Op, I'm sorry you are feeling so overwhelmed. I think it's always good to have awareness of what you should/shouldn't be eating but to become obsessed by it will fuel the anxiety, which sounds like what is happening.
I make sure I stick to the current NHS guidelines of what's safe to eat in pregnancy and obviously common sense. There will be things you are told not to eat, such as soft serve ice cream (McDonald's McFlurry) because of a potential risk of Listeria, but these are all 'potentials' it's not guaranteed that if you eat them you will get food poisoning.
A few years ago you would have been told you couldn't have shellfish, but now you can providing it's cooked. Guidelines change all the time and you will find depending on what country you live in there is different information.
This is my third pregnancy and the only things I've been strict about is not eating pate, not eating uncooked shellfish (oysters etc) and making sure meat is thoroughly cooked, but then I do that anyway.
I would suggest at your booking in appointment you discuss your concerns with your midwife because what you don't want to happen is that this becomes a bigger issue than what it needs to be.

It sounds like you're being overly anxious. The NHS guidance is sensible.

It might be wise to tell your in-laws so they can support you. It's early days but surely you want them to know whatever happens?

Hi - are you in the U.K.? I can only really talk about NHS guidelines as that’s what I’ve followed, but it varies from country to country. When it comes to listeria and pasteurised products etc., the guidance is to eat well cooked, so with the tortellini example, the ricotta being pasteurised or not wouldn’t matter as you would cook it before eating. Likewise Camembert etc., if cooked, kills the bacteria you are concerned about. With meat, I just avoid steak (mainly because that’s more enjoyable when not thoroughly cooked) but everything else that doesn’t scream raw (tartar etc) is fine. In practice I mainly avoid deli meats (don’t like them much anyway) and raw runny cheeses, but that’s all. I’ve found in London that every restaurant I’ve asked about pasteurised cheese, they’ve said they all are. Same with lion eggs - restaurants use them as standard. So that’s the practical advice I can give. No one has been rude/dismissive at all when I’ve asked.

Secondly, I think it is worth talking to someone about anxiety. It’s so common during pregnancy and you’re likely to worry yourself sick, but pregnancy is a long time to be so heavily restricted (and when they’re here you also worry for them for a long time, maybe forever!) so I think some managing techniques would be welcome. The guidance is there for a reason, but your chances of becoming seriously ill and damaging your baby are very very small, and anecdotally I’ve done stuff like eaten undercooked chicken in my last pregnancy, contracted an awful stomach bug in this pregnancy even when being careful, and these little foetuses are much tougher than we think. Remember there’s some women suffering from HG who still have perfectly healthy babies. Please check in with a GP or likewise who might be able to put your mind at rest. Best of luck!

In the UK, all eggs are lion stamped so that's fine.

Similarly, almost al.cheede is pasteurised and certainly you don't need to worry about cheese in things like fresh pasta, not least because it gets cooked.

The goal is to avoid listeria which is pretty rare anyway but washed, fresh fruit and veg are fine. I think generally there's a view tou should avoid garnishes and the bits of salad in random cafes etc as those have slightly higher liklihood.

What I think wi be helpful for you is to buy a bookthat explains WHY thee guidelines are in place. I haven't been pregnant for a while but there were plenty available when j was and I am sure you can find some quickly. That helps you to understand underlying thinking, and risks, and make better decisions accordingly

You don't have to just drink water. Tea and limited coffee are fine. Fruit juice is fine. Even some.fizzy drinks if that is your preference will be fine too.

It sounds like you are making it way over complicated. Anything cooked is fine, that includes any cheese, any eggs, any meat, any fish - so the cheese inside pasta that you'll cook, is fine. You can have tea and coffee, just not too much, and other drinks like squash are fine. the organic is a choice you're making, that's not necessarily pregnancy advice, so you need to decide if it's worth the stress. I would recommend the book 'Expecting Better' by Emily Oster, she summarises the research behind the advice on things like food during pregnancy (and that's important, it's only advice), and the research / evidence really is minimal for most things in pregnancy, it's very over cautious. I really think you need to get some support for anxiety as well - the fact you are worrying about whether to trust Sainsburys is quite concerning. And honestly, tell your in laws! I told my in laws and parents really early, and then had a miscarriage, and honestly it made it so much easier and I appreciated their support.

I’m 5 months pregnant and think you’re just really overthinking it. I haven’t struggled at all, what realistically is going to happen if you drink some squash that’s not in the guidelines or a fizzy drink ? Just don’t eat undercooked meat and soft cheese that’s pretty much it. Organic is your choice, non organic isn’t dangerous. I think you’re making the issue for yourself here

I also think you are overthinking. It is a worrying time I understand.

Eggs will almost 100% be lion stamped almost everywhere in the UK. Cooked unpasteurised cheese is fine. The odd bit of non organic veg is going to be fine (like you I try to eat organic where possible).

You know what is worse for the baby than non organic produce? Stress! Seriously, follow the guidance as best as you can and don't worry. It won't do you any good.