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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Home birth

49 replies

Sara1988 · 09/08/2024 21:07

Hi all,

I'm 34 weeks and planning on home birth.

I wondered if anyone else on here had one/was planning on having one and could share any experiences or recommendations for how to prepare 😀

TIA

OP posts:
PiggieWig · 09/08/2024 21:12

I had a home birth 18 years ago. It was lovely and I’d never have a hospital birth again by choice - too late now anyway.
Have you booked it with your midwife? They bring round a home birth kit at around 37 weeks with everything they will need. You will need to buy a waterproof sheet for your bed and that’s it really.
After I had him they helped me to the bath then changed my bed and took away all the kit they had used. Within an hour I was tucked up in my own bed with my new baby in the Moses basket at the side 💙

I had my midwife checks at home once I’d said I was having a home birth.

My decision was easy as I was only 5 mins from the hospital if I’d needed a transfer so you might want to bear that in mind.

CarrotSoupwithCheese · 09/08/2024 21:20

I’ve had 3 homebirths, all very positive experiences.

I hired a birthing pool (though didn’t manage to get in it with number 3, he came too quickly) and a TENS machine.

Had loads of unpasteurised smelly cheese waiting for me in the fridge and it was wonderful.

Had some issues with the placenta with my first birth which was the worst bit (the midwife was on the phone to the ambulance when I finally got it out) but had the injection with the other two and it fell out, no problem at all. So would recommend the injection!!

I was pretty on it with perineal massage in the run up to the birth with my first, also stretches on all fours And anything I could to get the baby into optimal birthing position. I just wanted to do everything in my power to help the birth go smoothly.

DancingPhantomsOnTheTerrace · 09/08/2024 21:23

Have you booked it with your midwife? They bring round a home birth kit at around 37 weeks with everything they will need.

I'm not sure they do that anymore, or maybe it's area specific. I definitely didn't have this when I had a home birth 5 years ago. What did they bring you?

twinkletoesimnot · 09/08/2024 21:44

I've had 5 home births after having my first baby in hospital.
Highly recommend it.
Nothing like climbing into your own bed afterwards.

LoserWinner · 09/08/2024 22:00

Yes, make sure the gas and air thing works before you actually need it. When I had a home birth, the valve had been fitted on the cylinder the wrong way. I was getting no effect at all, but my husband and midwife were very happy.

Strugglebus86 · 09/08/2024 22:13

I'm planning one in Jan with my 3rd baby (previous two in hospital) i want a "land" birth,I don't like being in water.

Sara1988 · 09/08/2024 23:01

@PiggieWig all booked in! We have a separate home birth team here, so I'll see them for all my midwife appointments from now on. We're also 5 mins from hospital which influenced my decision. Your birth sounds lovely 😍

@CarrotSoupwithCheese I'm planning to do perniel massage too! And have done stretches throughout! Still undecided on 3rd stage - I think I'm happy to have the injection if it speeds things along!

OP posts:
DancingPhantomsOnTheTerrace · 09/08/2024 23:15

Is this your first birth?

Sara1988 · 09/08/2024 23:21

@DancingPhantomsOnTheTerrace yep!

OP posts:
YellowDayToday · 09/08/2024 23:24

Had both mine at home. Got nothing to compare it to other than stories from friends and I would do it again. After hearing stories of friends being left alone for long stretches of time, partners being chucked of wards etc I wanted to be in control. Both times I had 2 MW with me the whole time and 1 student, so I never felt unsafe. I loved having the whole house to move about in and once all done the MW up and left and we were tucked up in bed.

YellowDayToday · 09/08/2024 23:25

Not that I am ever doing it again. Like ever ever ever.

elliejjtiny · 09/08/2024 23:30

I had my first at home, really lovely. I had to be in hospital with my others though.

Sara1988 · 09/08/2024 23:31

YellowDayToday · 09/08/2024 23:24

Had both mine at home. Got nothing to compare it to other than stories from friends and I would do it again. After hearing stories of friends being left alone for long stretches of time, partners being chucked of wards etc I wanted to be in control. Both times I had 2 MW with me the whole time and 1 student, so I never felt unsafe. I loved having the whole house to move about in and once all done the MW up and left and we were tucked up in bed.

This is a big part if it for me. I've had friends who have been left for hours on their own in maternity wards and had their wishes ignored. The home birth team here are amazing and very much on the same page as me!

OP posts:
Lucy Long Socks · 09/08/2024 23:47

I had one . I set up the midwives area in kitchen with snacks and drinks. They just chatted and left us to it until they were needed. I had a comedy show i liked (nighty night) to watch, until I couldn't concentrate and then I had a music play list.
I had a massive baby with the cord around her neck so it was a bit dicey for a while. But eventually they got her breathing and she is fine.
All in all a more relaxing experience. Would recommended

spiderlight · 09/08/2024 23:47

I had my DS at home 17 years ago and it was such a lovely experience. I had all my home comforts, my own loo and shower, and the midwives couldn't have been more lovely. It was hard work, don't get me wrong, but it was calm, peaceful, focused, and with a lot of laughter. We were slightly unprepared because he decided he was coming three weeks early, and I don't really remember what we needed (other than to have had a trial run with the birth pool, but it had only come the day before). Good luck! I hope it goes smoothly for you.

DancingPhantomsOnTheTerrace · 09/08/2024 23:49

Sara1988 · 09/08/2024 23:21

@DancingPhantomsOnTheTerrace yep!

In that case my advice is to have the car seat in the house, not in the car.

If you get transferred into hospital before giving birth, your OH can always put the car seat in the car later, ready for you to come home.

If you need to be transferred as an emergency after you give birth, you don't want your DH to be trying to get an unfamiliar car seat out of the car so the baby can go with you in the ambulance. I know it's not difficult, but I was given this advice by a friend who had a very stressed DH who was beside himself with a minutes old baby trying to wrestle a car seat out of the car while she was barely conscious, and the midwives had gone from relaxed to extremely tense. If it had just been the house already it would have just been one thing that was slightly easier and ready to go just in case there is an emergency. (She was fine in the end btw).

I only asked if it was your first because if not, he could probably get the car seat out without any trouble by this point. But tbf it would probably still be more convenient to just have it in the house just in case.

Sara1988 · 09/08/2024 23:57

@DancingPhantomsOnTheTerrace good shout on car seat! Hadn't thought of this.

@Lucy Long Socks love the idea of a snack area. My other half loves to host, so I'm hoping he'll take care of midwives! Was also hoping to watch my favourite series but want sure if that was wishful thinking!

OP posts:
DancingPhantomsOnTheTerrace · 10/08/2024 00:15

Sara1988 · 09/08/2024 23:57

@DancingPhantomsOnTheTerrace good shout on car seat! Hadn't thought of this.

@Lucy Long Socks love the idea of a snack area. My other half loves to host, so I'm hoping he'll take care of midwives! Was also hoping to watch my favourite series but want sure if that was wishful thinking!

The snack suggestion reminds me of my home birth. I had got snacks and tea for the midwives but right at the end of labour, just before pushing, I suddenly because extremely concerned that I hadn't been a good enough host. So while they were checking me, and saying it's time to start pushing, I wouldn't shut up about whether or not they'd had some homemade flapjack. In my memory I just offered it nicely, but according to DH I became quite belligerently insistent that they simply must have some tea and cake 🤣

PinkPrawns2 · 10/08/2024 00:19

As a community midwife I ❤️ homebirths. Definitely appreciate snacks and tea and coffee!!

One thing I would recommend is having a hospital bag packed just in case. Make sure there's shoes/slippers and a jacket in there as when I was transferred in after my own homebirth I had neither. Coming home in the middle of Jan in hospital slipper socks wasn't great!

Also if you're having a pool just consider if there's room to manoeuvre around it. Have been to a few births where it is a real squish and it's made things a bit awkward.

Hellodarknessmyfriend · 10/08/2024 00:34

I had a home birth at the height of the Covid pandemic - May 2020. Amazing and a million times better than my two previous hospital births.

hazandduck · 10/08/2024 00:51

I had my second at home and it was amazing as far as labour can be 😂

My waters broke (I posted on here the night she was born actually!) we’d planned a homebirth but vaguely so I was prepared to go in (had hospital bag for me and baby packed on the side which incidentally stayed there for a few weeks after birth 🤣) and DH said very sombrely “I’ll prepare the arena.” He laid out a big plastic sheet and then an old quilt which was just binned afterwards and I bounced on my ball through the contractions with a tens machine and then gave birth to her on the floor a few hours later. I mean it’s not easy but it was not as bad as I was expecting it. I’m averse to any pain relief as I’m scared of vomiting so the only drug I had was antisickness. A second midwife turned up about half an hour before she was born. They cleaned up everything; I don’t understand the comments people always say about the mess when homebirth is discussed, it was all gone without me even noticing to be honest.

I had Portrait Artist of the Year playing on the telly through my 4 hour labour, once DD was out midwife and DH asked what I wanted to watch and I said I’d missed most of it so could we just start the series again- I was met with a resounding NO from both of them! Clearly not fans of the show 😂 Midwife took me upstairs to have a shower, it was surreal just thinking I’d just had a baby downstairs! We all sat about after having a cup of tea and bourbons on the sofa. Midwife went home and DH and I just slept on the sofa with DD2 in the Moses basket.

When we woke up in the morning I looked at the basket in our sitting room and said “oh yeah we had a baby last night!”

Beforetheend · 10/08/2024 00:54

Not to be a wet blanket, but one thing to prepare for is a hospital transfer - mentally as much as anything.

Births aren’t really events that can be planned, although there’s an industry selling that idea. All sorts of unexpected things happen and it’s important to have a bit of flexibility built in for your own peace of mind, There’s no perfect way to give birth and it’s not any sort of failure if you need to transfer. I’m not sure how it is for you, but here the community midwives had a designated labour room, so you’d still be under their care.

I found the community midwives absolutely amazing, it was like having big sisters around. I had a great chat before the birth about my “birth plan” and discovered that a lot of the things I thought I needed to advocate for/against were either completely outdated or foreign practices and that really no one wanted to intervene unnecessarily. It helped me to trust their expertise and judgement, which in turn contributed to a better birth experience.

Tips: practice filling the pool - I think dh used the inlet for the washing machine for hot water and was able to keep the temperature consistent. You can get a floating thermometer in baby shops, which will get a use when you’re washing baby too, Have you a pump to empty it afterwards?

A bathmat for the bottom of the pool gives an extra bit of friction. I was inclined to sort of roll sideways in contractions and dh had to hold me up because it was slippy. I had imagined I’d be sitting upright.

You get a surge of energy before the birth but don’t waste it on cleaning the house! You need it for labour. But in the meantime keep on top of the dishes and the laundry.

YellowDayToday · 10/08/2024 07:39

@Beforetheend will second the caution that births can go different ways and in my head I was not having a home birth but it was on my options list as was MWLC and hospital.

My DH loved playing host with the MWs gave him something to do. Bacon sandwiches appeared at one of my births if I remember correctly!

I ate nothing but jelly babies - which was a tip I got from here 15 years ago 🤣🤣🤣

CarrotSoupwithCheese · 10/08/2024 07:56

All the stuff about tea and coffee and snacks - I think this gets to the crux of what makes homebirths so special. At a home birth, the midwives are guests in your home. It completely changes the dynamic from a hospital birth where you are the guest in unfamiliar territory. Giving birth is the most amazing, and most vulnerable and undignified thing I’ve ever done!

Even if you don’t do the whole labour at home, the stats (to my memory, was a few years ago now!) show that starting at home has positive outcomes for mums (and no negatives for babies).

For my first birth I went in with the mentality of “let’s try and do as much of it as possible at home and see how we go”. I was aware that almost half of planned first baby home births end up being transferred.

I remember asking the midwife during transition “if I was having a hospital birth would I be going to hospital now?” and she laughed and said “YES!” and it just gave me so much encouragement! I couldn’t believe it when I did the whole thing at home as I am NOT someone who is known for my pain coping skills.

CarrotSoupwithCheese · 10/08/2024 08:03

Have thought of another thing (inspired by someone’s post about jelly babies) - I had so many lovely snacks lined up for MYSELF as well as the midwives but when I was in labour I couldn’t stomach any of them! (And my labours were all quite fast and intense so no time for the poor midwives to sit around drinking tea or snacking!!)

Luckily I had some of those energy gels my dad had leftover from his marathon. And they were AMAZING. Jelly babies are probably similar but if you can get hold of the sports energy gels they really hit the spot. I’ve never run a marathon but I imagine it’s similar to labour…