Pregnancy making me miserable

[PregnancyHormonesss]

I am nauseous, i am so extremely tired i just cant lift a finger.. i stopped antidepressants without tapering it off which was silly, i understand what i feel is not unusual and it will pass, but i just hate myself for not wanting to be pregnant.

first trimester so still getting used to the idea of another baby. DS is 3.5yr old and is just such a joy to be around, i can spend as much time as needed with him, i can co-sleep if i wish, i can pick any activity DS is willing to try as we have no other responsibilities, we are alright financially and can provide much more to one kid than two, plus in x years will need to convert a loft to have space for pre-tens. We are out of nappy/weaning/bottle feeding phases now. We were planning first family holiday abroad which now had to cancel bc dont want to go with a newborn..i am just gutted when i think i need to share my time, attention, money between two kids.
i am afraid i am gonna be a bad mother to a second one. I dont want to go on maternity, i love my not stressful, flexible job (although it doesnt pay much).

please give me some words of wisdom and be nice, i am really not in a good spot mentally.

gp referred me to get help and i have a call in 2 weeks to go over medication and currently expecting a face to face assessment.

This may be unpopular but if I felt the way you do, I’d really be considering whether I wanted to continue with the pregnancy. Have you discussed the contents of your OP with your partner?

Pregnancy, especially the first trimester, can be awful. You’re not alone there. Do you want a second baby? Have you shared your feelings with your husband?

Why did you stop the antidepressants? For sure that will be affecting your mood on top of the hormones

I think a lot of what you’re feeling is actually completely normal - to me anyway. Also first trimester here with much wanted baby. I’m exhausted, I’m sick. I’ve a two year old who is an absolutely joy and who sleeps 8-8! I do wonder how I could love another child as much. I’m enjoying my job too and don’t really want to take the time off. I’m already worried about how I’ll deal with sleepless nights again, the unknown of what the baby will be like and if they will have any issues. The crying and the transition to two and the impact on my 2 year old.

But as I said I’ve classed this as normal enough. It’s a big upheaval and the start of a big change and a huge transition from one to two.everyone says you love number 2 just as much and I think that’ll be what gets you through the newborn days juggling everything. Plus then the benefits to your child of a sibling. Lots to be positive about. Lots to worry about. Just keep going, be kind to yourself, acknowledge you’ll likely feel better as you move into the second trimester. No reason to think any of what is happening now will impact on the kind of mother you will be @PregnancyHormonesss

Pregnancy is awful. Huge solidarity. It’s painful, uncomfortable and exhausting, as well as making your hormones go haywire.

You are, however, going to rise to the occasion of having another baby and be magnificent. Your love is big enough, and everything else is secondary to that. You’ll find a way through, like you did the first time. You’ll have beautiful family holidays again, unbroken nights of sleep, laughter and happiness. You’re going to be brilliant.

Abortion is against my religion, beliefs, and not something i will ever be able to do so its out of a question.

i did share it with my husband who is stepping up more than usually to give me peace and quiet as much as possible.

Well I felt like absolute shite for the 31 weeks I was pregnant for (Dts delivered safe and sound). I was not glowing in pregnancy, I wanted to crawl to the nearest bin to throw up.

If you want the baby hang in there.

Its making me cry. What if that feeling of not wanting to have another one carries on after the baby is born?
i am worried about postpartum depression

Thank you. It just feels so away now.

Not sure if i want to tbh. But as i said i am not going to abort, i thought i wanted it but now not sure

You are going to love that baby when they are in your arms and you are going to love your children playing together. Pregnancy for me is the worst bit; I felt the same as you did. It’s a long slog and hard with an existing child. Now I can’t believe how much love I have for both of them and I wouldn’t wish it were different.

I know that all sounds like platitudes, but it turned out to be true for me. Just keep trucking ❤️

Oh sweetheart, I can just feel your pain. Please do keep updating the GP and your midwife team, do not sugar coat any of this. I'm so pleased your husband is helping and understanding, just dump anything you need to on him. Pregnancy can be awful, I was sick, sick, sick for the whole of my second pregnancy. It was such a relief when he came and I didn't feel sick! I was a bit unsure if I could love another but you know what, I do, my heart grew even bigger and I wouldn't change having two for anything. Think of the joy they'll have playing with each other, teasing each other, supporting each other. They might hate each other now and then but they also amuse each other, play with each other and love each other. Yes, you're a bit split but it's all good.
Keep talking to your husband, us, friends and medical people. X

Having a baby is life changing, even if it’s not your first time & that combined with the hormones + symptoms it’s normal to have concerns and fears.

But i’d definitely recommend reaching out your midwife for support in the meantime, especially as you’ve gone cold turkey. hang in there

Thank you all. I feel pathetic but your messages help a lot.

Take each day as it comes & try not to worry about the future.

Think about how much you love your child. You'll love this baby just as much <3

Keep your husband & midwife updated how you're feeling & look after yourself as a priority!

I had antenatal depression both times. Less scary second time round, but the thing that really messed with me the first time was not knowing it was a thing, and thinking it meant I would get really bad PND. It resolved at birth both times. I since learned it’s a thing, and often does resolve at birth. Having a newborn (or two newborns) was so much easier for me than being pregnant. Hand hold.

Sending solidarity, I'm 25 weeks with my second pregnancy and have a 2.5yr old who is lovely but very energetic and I can no longer keep up with.
I don't enjoy much of pregnancy at all but it's a means to an end.

Is it worth looking at a holiday or trip that would be more practical for after your next is born so that you have something to look forward to?

I've struggled with low mood too, you're not alone. Have thought about restarting antidepressants too, have been on them before but off 18 months before this pregnancy.