Page 3 | Poo in childbirth

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Pigeonqueen · 04/08/2024 23:37

Never even knew enemas during birth used to be a thing! 😳

I had my first child in 2003 and didn’t poo during the 73 hour labour (no, that’s not a typo, hugely complicated and horrific birth, suffered birth trauma afterwards). I did however poo in the bed the next morning after my epidural started to wear off…. I just didn’t have any control over it. Was very embarrassed but the nurse just came and cleared it up and we didn’t even speak about it!

WhereIsMyLight · 05/08/2024 00:15

PeachLemonGummy · 04/08/2024 23:30

Also, good looking, successful men have shit themselves. Not whilst pushing a baby out of their body obviously but they have still shit themselves when they’ve had stomach bugs. Some good looking successful men will have crohns or IBS and they’ve shit themselves.

This has absolutely nothing to do with stoma bags or bowel conditions, which affect both genders in equal measure. No idea how you got that metaphor from. It's safe to say that only the most heinous of trolls would make fun of a colorectal cancer patient or someone with a serious bowel disease.

However pooing yourself in childbirth is something that uniquely affects women but it's also uniquely socially acceptable to talk about and always in a way that frames it as an amusing, silly or trivial experience. There's another active thread right now about a women who is distressed that her husband keeps bringing up the fact they didn't clean her poo away for ages during childbirth.

It boils down to personal dignity and bodily autonomy. My point is that men are given far more choice and sacrosanctity over their bodies. They are not expected to go through a "rite of passage" which involves shitting themselves in a room full of strangers and expected to be perfectly fine with that. Men get the choice to preserve their dignity on a much higher level compared to women. That fuels the power of the patriarchy because the majority of men (especially successful ones, hence why I mentioned it) project an untouchable aura. It would be absolutely taboo to talk the about the CEO of a major corporation pooing himself during a medical emergency.

However any woman, regardless of how successful, will be reduced to a bodily vessel during childbirth where having someone cleaning up your poo is perfectly normal and something you need to accept and be happy with.

Edited

Of course pooing yourself in childbirth is something that only affects women. Only women can give birth. It is not a rite of passage, shit yourself or you’re not a real woman. However, it is a normal component in some births and you shouldn’t be telling women it’s demeaning. Especially when women who have experienced it are telling you it isn’t. When you’re in labour, you don’t have control over this function. A lot of women are worried about this because of attitudes like yours.

My point is that many people, of both sexes shit themselves. For a variety of reasons. We need to realise that someone having no control over a bodily function is not something to be a joke. The problem with the woman on the other thread isn’t that she pooed in labour, it’s that her husband is a dick. If he wasn’t going to be a dick about this, he’d be a dick about something else. When someone with stomach and bowel issues can’t make it to the toilet, do you tell them it’s demeaning to poo in a room front of other people. Even if they have had it happen in a room full of other people. No, of course not. Why are you telling women it’s demeaning then? You’re feeding into the patriarchy by saying it’s a demeaning process. That birth needs to be hidden behind closed doors or medicalised to save embarrassment. You are feeding dicks like the husband on the other thread.

At no point in childbirth did my body feel like it was a vessel. That’s again your own internalised misogyny. Despite having never given birth before, I felt like my body just clicked into knowing what it was doing. I have never felt more aware of my body, the way it works, the way your organs sync together and its power than when I was giving birth.

Like I said, you didn’t want that, that’s fine. I could equally argue that it’s demeaning to have a room full of people when you’re having a catheter put in and peeing into a bag for half a day or so. But I won’t because it’s part of the process of having a c-section. A process you elected into because you made the decision that was right for you. A woman pooing in birth is not being demeaned or handing over power to a man.

allbymysel · 05/08/2024 00:20

Georgyporky · 04/08/2024 19:42

"My midwife says most women poo during childbirth, "

Didn't want to derail the thread that contained this quote, but I was horrified.
I was given an enema. When I asked why, I was told it was for hygiene purposes & I would not want my baby covered in shit (or words to that effect).

Seems very sensible to me. Is it not usual practice in UK now ?

Not for at least 30 years no

Readinstead · 05/08/2024 00:21

I gave birth in 1992, no shaving and no enema. I'm not sure if I pooed during labour or not, I think I possibly did but neither my Mum (who stayed with me until my then dh arrived) or ex dh ever mentioned it.
The two embarrassing things I remember is a Consultant coming into the room appearing to look directly at my fanny, and then announcing "you're not one of mine" and walking out. I remember thinking what the hell is wrong with mine that he call tell from looking that I'm not his patient! This was in the days of GP units, when your doctor was supposed to turn up to assist with the birth but by February funding had run out so I ended up having midwives instead and a very good experience over all.
The second embarrassment was having to walk from one labour room to another down the rather busy corridor (God knows why) in a backless hospital gown and having to stop and lean on a trolley mid contraction - dh did stand behind me so my bare bum wasn't totally on display!

INeedARest22 · 05/08/2024 00:23

I'm beyond the point of caring whether I shit on someone or not during labour.

bettypalmer · 05/08/2024 00:26

PeachLemonGummy · 04/08/2024 23:30

Also, good looking, successful men have shit themselves. Not whilst pushing a baby out of their body obviously but they have still shit themselves when they’ve had stomach bugs. Some good looking successful men will have crohns or IBS and they’ve shit themselves.

This has absolutely nothing to do with stoma bags or bowel conditions, which affect both genders in equal measure. No idea how you got that metaphor from. It's safe to say that only the most heinous of trolls would make fun of a colorectal cancer patient or someone with a serious bowel disease.

However pooing yourself in childbirth is something that uniquely affects women but it's also uniquely socially acceptable to talk about and always in a way that frames it as an amusing, silly or trivial experience. There's another active thread right now about a women who is distressed that her husband keeps bringing up the fact they didn't clean her poo away for ages during childbirth.

It boils down to personal dignity and bodily autonomy. My point is that men are given far more choice and sacrosanctity over their bodies. They are not expected to go through a "rite of passage" which involves shitting themselves in a room full of strangers and expected to be perfectly fine with that. Men get the choice to preserve their dignity on a much higher level compared to women. That fuels the power of the patriarchy because the majority of men (especially successful ones, hence why I mentioned it) project an untouchable aura. It would be absolutely taboo to talk the about the CEO of a major corporation pooing himself during a medical emergency.

However any woman, regardless of how successful, will be reduced to a bodily vessel during childbirth where having someone cleaning up your poo is perfectly normal and something you need to accept and be happy with.

Edited

Who gives a fuck? If your ego is so fragile that you can't take the fact your body might do things in childbirth then maybe your not ready for what comes after....

SnowFrogJelly · 05/08/2024 00:33

My lovely midwife wiped it all away for me

Devilsmommy · 05/08/2024 01:26

@WhereIsMyLight 👏👏👏

Sweetteaplease · 05/08/2024 03:08

It doesn't go on the baby, plus the baby is covered in all sorts of goo. It's just natural as you are pushing hard. Tbh as far as childbirth goes, pooing is the least of your concerns 🤷🏼‍♀️

tuttuttutt · 05/08/2024 03:11

I'd rather something wasn't shoved up my arse while trying to push a baby out

Ihateslugs · 05/08/2024 03:45

GoldenPombear · 04/08/2024 20:12

Never had an enema , first baby born in 1990, last in 2016 I'm not sure it's ever been standard practice

It was standard in 1983 in Manchester when I had my eldest child but not in Reading in 1986 when my next child was born. I think I was shaved around the pubic area as well in 1983 but cannot swear to it!

sparkles79 · 05/08/2024 04:11

Had my dc in 2000 and 2005 and pooed on both of them. Midwives discreetly cleaned it up and I carried on pushing. None goes on the baby!

CaptainMyCaptain · 05/08/2024 07:22

@WhereIsMyLight great posts. Some people are just not mature enough to give birth it would seem.

CheeseWisely · 05/08/2024 08:21

However any woman, regardless of how successful, will be reduced to a bodily vessel during childbirth

Speak for yourself @PeachLemonGummy, but I was promoted to a fucking Goddess during childbirth, stray poo and all.

Wavescrashingonthebeach · 05/08/2024 08:53

CheeseWisely · 05/08/2024 08:21

However any woman, regardless of how successful, will be reduced to a bodily vessel during childbirth

Speak for yourself @PeachLemonGummy, but I was promoted to a fucking Goddess during childbirth, stray poo and all.

Amen sister!!!!!!!

OneFastDuck · 05/08/2024 09:17

@PeachLemonGummy

I would find being half paralysed and naked in a brightly lit operating theatre with a minimum of of 6 strangers staring at my insides much less dignified than my actual births.

Darkened room and a single midwife at the business end- luckily no poops because my labour's were long and everything was evacuated earlier on. But I'm sure if I had she'd have been very discreet.

Each to their own. Also you must have had a catheter so a bag of piss hanging off you- having had these for other reasons I'd say they are not dignified either. Whereas I was up and toileting independently within half an hour.

Pregnant again and hoping all goes well, if I need a Csec then fine but choosing major surgery which then hampers the way I can care for my newborn simply because I'm scared of a single woman seeing me poop if just not on my mind.

ElderMillenials · 05/08/2024 09:24

CheeseWisely · 05/08/2024 08:21

However any woman, regardless of how successful, will be reduced to a bodily vessel during childbirth

Speak for yourself @PeachLemonGummy, but I was promoted to a fucking Goddess during childbirth, stray poo and all.

🙌🙌

When giving birth I couldn't have cared less what was coming out as long as the baby did! It was an incredibly powerful and emotional moment.

I did poo, asked dh after and he said it was like a couple of chocolate buttons and the midwife just moved it and carried on. He was more horrified by the placenta plopping out.

PruneInTheNest · 05/08/2024 09:54

I’d find having an enema more traumatic than just pooing during labour.
for what it’s worth I didn’t poo on either of my children during labour (although it’s perfectly normal too because your using the same muscles to push) as I had an upset stomach before contractions began and it emptied it all out before things even properly started.

Whatayear2023 · 31/10/2024 20:24

Having bowel accidents is horrible to experience... I have something wrong with Me and I soil myself weekly without warning ... when I was in labour I was so worried about it but with this disease now I don't care and wouldn't bother me at all. I think it depends on age experience personal info etc as to how you view crapping yourself

Sophie3003 · 31/10/2024 20:45

I spent a lot of my first pushes having a poo and kept saying 'I am pooing again!' It felt like a lot and carried on for ages! Had no idea when I was going to get past that and actually push the baby out! Didn't bother me at all!

crumblingschools · 31/10/2024 20:51

I remember having an enema in the 1980s when GP incorrectly diagnosed appendicitis as constipation! The health visitor who did it said this is what you have when you have a baby. My teenage self thought I am never having a baby, this is so mortifying

Monstermashermashedthemonster · 31/10/2024 20:55

I pooed with 2 out of 4 of my births.

Wigglywoowho · 31/10/2024 21:03

My mum had enemas when she had us. That was over 40 years ago.

DeliciousApples · 31/10/2024 21:25

In the 60s and early 70s you got your bits shaved and given an enema prior to giving birth. My mum was surprised at that!

LoremIpsumCici · 31/10/2024 21:33

I poo’d on the toilet when in early active labour. Wiped myself. Washed my hands. Had a few pauses for contractions but that was a good 6-7hrs before the baby arrived.