Booking appointment - Personal questions???

[JoyousStork]

Hi all! I was wondering what everyone thinks about booking appointment questions. Always feels very invasive and uncomfortable. Asking about whether the pregnancy is PLANNED OR UNPLANNED and then judging you either way. Has anyone ever just said they're uncomfortable answering that question and then gotten away with it??

I wasn’t asked that! The only thing I was asked that may have upset some people was whether I was safe at home and with a loving partner (ie not being abused) but that’s a safeguarding question so I understand that. Very odd for them to ask you if it was planned!

No, I've never found that uncomfortable, not sure why anyone would. I think it's just their way of gauging your feelings towards the pregnancy. If it's unplanned you might be a bit more anxious or stressed about the whole thing. Not to mention it could have been a result of non consensual sex etc., and they have to make sure you are safe at home.

I definitely didn’t feel I was being judged! I was asked the same question in the EPU by a doctor as well as at the booking appointment.

They’re just trying to identify whether you might need a bit of extra support or signposting if it’s unplanned surely?! When I said planned, the next question was around how long were we trying for and again I think it was just a way into discussions around any fertility issues.

medical offices didn’t ask those kind of holistic screener questions of everyone when I was a child. They just went “nice family everything must be fine” and stuck to the main focus.

a medical visit is often the best place to catch signs of problems in the household. The questions they ask now catch issues that can exacerbate medical issues, help signpost people to services, and help bring abuse into notice.

I can sit through a few questions or fill out a form if it helps keep other women and children safe.

If you are the woman whose details align with statistics that indicate you might need extra help, then remember they are just statistics. It is not a personal judgement. The staff will just watch a bit more closely to make sure everything goes smoothly.

It’s a really important question. No one is judging you, just trying to understand your personal circumstances and how they affect your medical needs.

In the scheme of antenatal and postnatal care I don’t think it’s particularly intrusive. And of course it’s relevant, if it’s shock you may need additional support.

Hi everyone. I thought all booking appointments were like this but I think it might just be where I was. They were definitely judging and adding their own personal comments to boot. I know they ask a lot of questions for safety reasons etc which I'm fine with. However, when answering planned and then unplanned for each of the pregnancies I had they judged me regardless for not doing 100 things before getting pregnant and then not doing 100 things to not get pregnant. Even giving me looks. I was shocked. Judging me for not ever having alcohol too. I had a booking appointment this time around with different midwives and they never asked me that question at all and it was very nice. (I've moved far away from that area).

My booking appointment was 13 years ago now, but they asked all sorts of questions like 'is the father a close relative?' You have to remember that they see people in all sorts of situations and circumstances and it's just to make sure that you get the most suitable care. Nothing at all to worry about.

It’s weird, with me it was phrased “spontaneous or assisted” ie “naturally” conceived or not, not whether it was wanted or not. Glad to hear your more recent experience was better!

When I went for my booking appointments, I was told why they asked certain questions. This being one of them and my midwife said because people from all sorts of backgrounds may not have planned to have a child, could be religion, cultural and other circumstances eg Sexual assault. It can cause some tension in the relationship with baby, covering their backs with safeguarding really, if you get caught pregnant unexpectedly and say but we’re really pleased with it, they will still watch for any other reactions later on to see if you change your demeanour same with if it’s planned, but just safety netting to make sure that all parties are safe. It’s nothing to get high rate about, just safety netting. I wouldn’t have said they judge, unless you get a really shitty midwife then I’d ask to change. It’s 2024 where 13 year olds are having children unplanned, so judgement should never be passed but you’ll always get the one midwife that like I said before is pretty shitty

I was asked that. Didn’t even think about it. Surely it’s just for the midwife to assess if there may be risk factors for your and baby safety, not then unplanned on its own it’s a risk, but if combined with other factors. And also they need to know if you had IVF or ovulation induction