Worried about partner during pregnancy

[shrolo]

Hi all, I'm looking for some advice on this if possible please.

I'm 27 and 10 weeks pregnant, it was unplanned. I live with my fiancé who is 25.

We have a great relationship and he is excited at the thought of becoming a dad. He is an amazing partner but both of us are quite big party people (well I was up until I found out I was pregnant obviously)

Over the last few weeks he has gone for a drink with the boys on the odd Friday night (home by 11 nothing mad) and we both went out last weekend, I obviously wasn't drinking but he was which is absolutely fine I wouldn't expect him not to!

I am just worrying how he's going to be throughout the pregnancy, he has said that he isn't going to go out as much as usual and would rather spend time with me and sort the house out etc.

I'm thinking about the coming months, his birthday, Christmas, etc and worrying that I'm going to be sat at home feeling lonely while he's out enjoying himself. For example, on Christmas we usually have A LOT of nights out over the festive period.

I think I might be being unreasonable, as I obviously don't expect his social life to suffer, but I'm just worrying that his life is going to be exactly the same while I'm at home feeling shitty.

Has anybody else experienced this feeling?

I would say we sort of were like this before I fell pregnant, not massive or problematic drinkers but pre-pregnancy I’d say most weekends we would go out for a date night to bars, have a Friday night in the pub, out with friends for food & drinks etc. Ours was a planned baby so maybe different in that sense but we knew life would change with a baby and were excited for that. My husband didn’t give up alcohol when I was pregnant (and I never wanted him to) up until the last 2 months ish just because he wanted to make sure he was always able to jump in the car with me if we ever had to go to the hospital.

He still had his nights out with friends, I still had days/nights out with my friends and we still had our date nights and nights out together, you’re pregnant, you can still go out and have fun! Just minus the alcohol. Your life doesn’t have to go on hold just because you’re growing a baby. He will have his nights out when you’re pregnant and then when baby is here and you feel ready it’s your turn!

There is no rule that you have to be at home or that you will be feeling shitty, honestly, try not to worry about it. You can’t have a drink but you can still make plans as usual and it’s only 9 months x

I agree you can still go out and see your friends, just don't drink! Lots of people feel fine well into their pregnancy (or all the way through!) so you don't have to be stuck at home feeling sad. Equally you can always invite some friends over to yours if you prefer not to be in a bar or club or whatever, especially later on if you're tired - there are lots of ways to socialize and it doesn't have to be the case that you're at home alone 🙂

It sounds like your partner is willing to be flexible when and if it's needed anyway - so just see how you get on, how you're feeling and what you are in the mood to do.

@Mrsttcno1 @malimoon thank you both for your comments!

That is very true actually, I'm not sure why I'm acting like I've been given a jail sentence and can't leave the house lol! I went out on Saturday and enjoyed myself, home by 11 and no hangovers or anxiety the next day - win win!

You are right, I'll just have to make an effort to still go out and do things that I usually would but minus the alcohol, I just hate the thought of being at home feeling lonely while he's living his best life - but I understand that it doesn't have to be like that.

During pregnancy, there's nothing to stop you going out! Obviously once baby is here, you'll have to take turn or get child care. My DH loves staying in and rarely drinks, I wish he could have done the pregnancy as I love going out and having a drink... it doesn't sound like your partner is being particularly wild, but if you are not feeling up to going out, you of course need to tell him that, and suggest you do other activities together that don't involve booze, or stay in.

@Peonies12 yes your right, most of the time we go out together in couples as we have quite a large joint friendship group. We both have very supportive large families, so I know that once the baby is here we can still enjoy ourselves together as we will have plenty of child care - although I'm sure that our priorities will change and we won't want to be going out all the time anymore!

I am lucky in that sense, he does love going out but I know that if I didn't want him to go he definitely wouldn't (I would obviously never say that but just giving an idea of the type of guy he is 😊)