Pregnancy regret?

[Msgiggles30]

Hi all,
I hope this is not too insensitive for those longing for this. I am nearly 20 weeks pregnant after a battle with infertility and loss and this is a wanted baby. However I can't help but feel these thoughts of what have I done? I am late 30s so wondering if its just the reality of change? I spent the first 12 weeks anxious and praying not to lose my baby and now I feel this weird disconnect? Also wondering if it's the trauma and anxiety of loss. Has anyone experienced this? Thank you x

I've done some thinking on this since I wrote it last night and I think it's definitely anxiety related. Always feeling like something is wrong with baby so maybe scared to attach, hopefully will feel better after 20 week scan if nothing untoward shows up 🙏

Its normal to go through mixed thoughts/feelings when pregnant, nevermind when its happened after fertility treatment (I also went through fertility treatment). Its worth reaching out to your midwife to be honest with them about how you're feeling and ask for some mental health support to help you with your feelings / bonding with baby.

Totally normal, our DC was very much wanted but when I actually became pregnant we both freaked out and were like what have we done. However it does pass, it is a massive life change but it's amazing, albeit hard work. It will only better you. 😊 Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy.

Thank you both. I did tell the midwife about my anxiety but not the disconnect. I know I love my baby I talk to them and would be distraught if something happened. I think it's partly just constant panic something will go wrong and partly the reality of all the things to juggle. It's helped just writing it down and knowing others have these thoughts x

I think just know its ok to talk about the disconnect. Even when you are pregnant, a baby is quite an abstract concept .