Help! I’m pregnant and feeling sad!

[Sadblonde]

So, here’s my backstory. I’m a 38yr old mum to three children M18. M16, F15… all my kids are lovely but not very helpful, I’ve brought them up alone for the past 12 years. I’ve since met a man called Dan, we have been dating about 18 months.. He’s 43 and has an 8y old girl. She is an only child and we parent very very differently. I’ve since found out I’m 5 weeks pregnant. Im a student vet nurse having just completed My first year. Baby is due in March so I won’t be able to complete my course with everyone else, that’s fine. Dan is going to be furious I’m pregnant.. I’ve told him before I wanted. A baby and he said he can’t give me that (it appears he can but I think he meant mentally) I’m pretty sure he will leave me as nothing can be allowed to upset his daughter..he still toilets her at 8yrs old- he will push for a termination.. I see this as my last chance really. I’m getting older and these things get harder, having a child isn’t a bad thought in my mind.. Dan has totally withdrawn after a few hard weeks of arguing about our relationship, he’s very possessive and jealous and accuses me of being unfaithful regularly (I’m not)../ I just don’t know how I should feel. I don’t even know what I’m asking from everyone on here.. I just feel very alone- may family hate him also and won’t speak with him- my relationship with my mum is poor… I only have her and a brother who hasn’t had children so I don’t feel he will understand.. he’s very to the point… all I can say is help! Am I being stupid? Is this a ridiculous idea? Am I being unfair making Dan have a child he won’t want…

There is no way I would continue a pregnancy reading all of that.

There is little more heinous than a man trying to force a woman to get rid of a child she loves and wants.

I’m not going to comment on the pregnancy itself as that’s a very personal thing.

Dan sounds abusive, though. Whatever you choose about the baby, top it off with dumping him ASAP. Someone who keeps accusing you of being unfaithful is not a good person or partner.

If you are happy that you may be doing it alone as this Dan doesn't sound great ?

Dan sounds like a prick and should be binned ASAP.

Only you know if you can cope with having this baby, most likely alone. It's a huge age gap between your other 3, although I guess they are pretty much self sufficient. Do you have the space? Will you cope financially? Were your other pregnancies and births straight forward? There's a lot to think about but ultimately you have to go with your gut.

Yeah I think Dan needs to take a walk really. He’s been away since Saturday with his family and I’ve had one phone call. This is whilst things are meant to be ok! I want the baby. Space is tight but I own my home, I own my car and I work… people have had children in worse situations? I don’t know.. I will alienate a lot of people to go through with this…. But at what point do I think of myself and not others…. My kids won’t be impressed but are teenagers ever truly impressed.. I really value any opinions! I have terminated on the past as mine were too young etc and it destroyed me to the point of bursting into tears seeing a baby. Mourning the due date etc… maybe I need to man up? X

Tbh it sounds like if he chooses tonnage you over you being pregnant let him he dosnt sound like it’s a great relationship anyway and then you decide what you want in your own

Thanks everyone.. I think I need to not let Dan influence me. He suggested he would seek some help for his issues but he won’t. So that’s my get out . I can manage a baby… I’m sure of it. X