Hi everyone,
Im not really sure what I’m asking but looking for some reassurance i guess.
After a failed double round of ivf we miraculously fell pregnant naturally at the age of 42. It’s our first baby.
we had private 8 week and 11 week scans and all looked ok with a great heartbeat.
At the 12 week NHS scan the experienced sonographer was training on a new machine (unsure if this contributed to the issue). We asked the sonographer of everything looked ok and she said it did.
After the scan we were whisked to a quiet room away from other couples and told to wait for the foetal nurse.
Upon her arrival she told us the neck measurement was slightly above the 3.5mm limit at 4.2mm and suggested the NIPT test. We expected this due to my age so we were not suprised.
She then told us in very blunt way that the baby had fluid on its tummy and that we needed to prepare for a miscarriage within the next few days and if I didn’t bleed, there would be no heartbeat at 14 weeks. We asked if the fluid could rectify itself and she said it was unlikely as the fluid tends to grow and eventually subsume the baby. We were utterly blindsided and totally devastated.
in the meantime we went home and were told they had whisked my bloods away to be tested for Downs/Edwards/Pateaus.
The following day they rang with the results which were better than expected and spent ages talking me through the NIPT test and then suggested an amniocentesis test at 16 weeks. I was confused as to why they weee offering this when they’d already told me we’d miscarry. I couldn’t also understand why no one was mentioning the fluid on the tummy which was my main concern. When I asked this the midwife seemed confused and said there was no mention of this on my records.
We went in for the NIPT test later that afternoon and we asked again why it wasn’t on my records about this fluid . The midwife assured me she would chase with the head Sonographer and would contact me asap. I asked for a repeat scan whilst I was there and they wouldn’t do it.
Later that afternoon the midwife rang and her first words were ‘rest assured we have opened an investigation’ and then went onto say that after the Lead Consultant and various others had looked again at the scan and we should never have been told to expect a miscarriage or no heartbeat by 14 weeks and that there had been a verbal miscommunication between the sonographer and foetal nurse. She mentioned that there was a small anomaly on the tummy but no one could tell what it was and they are bringing me back in on Tuesday for another scan. We have been told this will be done by the Lead Consultant and Head Sonographer, they want to explain to us what happened and will be able to tell us definitively if there is a problem or not with the baby.
The last 48 hours have been torture for myself, my partner and my family. My own family didn’t know we were pregnant until we had to break this awful news to them. I’m overthinking every symptom and terrified of going to the toilet in case I’m spotting. We feel a little better after hearing the news that we shouldn’t have been told what we were, but we still have an agonising two days to wait for any answers.
Any advice or words of wisdom what to do here to get through another few days feeling like this?