EUPD/BPD,CPTSD

[anxiousmum1998]

Hi I have already spoken to some lovely people but would love to pre advice regarding social services.

So basically I have had anxiety and depression for as long as I can remember.I now have a referral as an outpatient to se a psychiatrist because my GP has noticed symptoms of BPD /EUPD or CPTSD.
To be honest it’s made the anxiety go through the roof I have missed a period as of this morning so will buy a test and take tomorrow. I already have a 5 year old son .I’m now terrified that this referral to psychiatry may mean social services get involved if I am pregnant.If diagnosed with BPD I’m also scared the social services would get involved with the pregnancy or with my son since yesterday I have read horror stories about social services taking babies /children away from parents who have EUPD /BPD(google and Facebook in that case was not helpful)Ive not had one of these assessments before I’m worried it will be completely overwhelming for me . I’m also concerned that I’ll go to the appointment,get diagnosed and be told that to get treatment I have to be hospitalised or sectioned .sorry if this triggering by the way .It’s just a lot to process .Up until yesterday I had never even heard of EUPD or BPD and it all feels very unknown .That being said I went through so much trauma as a child and have spent a lot my adult not understanding why things upset me so much so maybe this is the reason why ,it would explain a lot .
I also have trouble regulating emotions but it seems to be worse when reminded of my childhood specifically the things that happened when I was 9-10 .The anxiety can 1-10 in seconds.I seem to be very black and white person who ses every thing as right or wrong with no in between .My self worth is at an unbelievably low level which up until this I have always put down to depression which was what I was diagnosed with along with anxiety at age 14(now 25). I know I hold people to pretty high expectations and want them to be perfect but of course no one is .To be honest I’m finding this confusing because the things I put down to depression/anxiety due to the previous diagnosis seem to all be signs of BPD ,EUPD or CPTSD .

As I said earlier at age 14 (I’m now 25) I was diagnosed with depression and generalised anxiety disorder.The symptoms I had then are the same ones I have now so if I do Hhave BPD or EUPD I really don’t understand how I wasn’t diagnosed with it then .

Since the referall yesterday and this late/mossed period I have googled if social services get involved with a pregnancy if the mum is diagnosed with BPD and if they get involved with other children you may already have .That google search has made the anxiety go through the room .All I have seen is horror stories of social services using BPD as a reason to take children /babies away or get involved in pregnancy so ideally this is the part I need the most reassurance on .

If diagnosed while pregnant would the psychiatrist,midwife of mental health nurse refer to social services

Also
How long is the wait list for these assessments/appointments . I'm in Wiltshire near Salisbury if that helps

This must all be such a shock to you. I can only comment on the mental health/pregnancy side but I have a range of conditions, see a psychiatrist weekly and had been to A&E shortly before I found out I was pregnant for some severe self-harming.

I continued to engage in treatment throughout, taking all my meds and going to therapy weekly. I also had a specialist midwife and was under the perinatal mental health team. Nobody ever mentioned SS to me and there was never any question that I wouldn't be able to take care of my son.

I know that the midwives in the recovery ward had to keep a special eye on me (partly because of the fear that birth would trigger my PTSD) but overall, all the medical stuff could not have been better or more supportive. Because of the PTSD, they also made sure I had my own private room rather than be on the postnatal ward. DS is 5 now; I still see the same psychiatrist and he is very clear that he's never for a moment had a safeguarding concern (even when my MH has been in the toilet)

I think the first thing you really need to remember OP is that you are still exactly the same person you were before you found out about your possible diagnosis. It hasn't and won't change you but it might really, really help you to understand yourself and be a bit kinder to yourself. You've been through trauma and this is the result, it is not your fault.

I know there's a lot of negative out there about SS but if they get involved it will be to support you. Taking children away from parents is the last thing they want to do as they don't have the resources and it's extremely expensive. It doesn't sound like they've needed to be involved with your 5 year old who (I assume) is doing fine so try to see their involvement (if it happens) as a positive to help and support you and the kids. Work with them if they get involved and get all the help and support you can - DBT is supposed to be good if you are able to get it.

You may not have got the diagnosis of BPD at 14 because the doctor might have been unwilling to give it to a young teenager. Or they might not have asked the right questions to realise what was actually going on. Be kind to yourself OP, it's completely unexpected but understanding yourself better will hopefully be a huge positive in the long run.