When to tell work

[TweedyBee]

First time poster so I don’t know any abbreviations yet 😅

I’m really stuck on when to tell work. I’m between 6 and 7 weeks along (irregular periods) and I’d prefer to wait until after we tell family. We’ve booked a private early scan because my impatience to confirm is driving me bonkers so we’re planning to tell fam at about 9 weeks.

For context I work in a shop in a semi-independent company… I trust my manager, but I want to know when he is obligated to tell HR and unsure if he’ll keep it from his partner. But HR’s partner also works in the shops and absolutely cannot be trusted to keep anything to herself. Ordinarily, I would be happy enough waiting for 12 weeks which would be near end of August but that’s also our busiest month of the year and it gets pretty manic. Main concerns would be all the stairs, not being able to help with deliveries and being on my feet constantly.

I was planning to tell my colleagues either end of August or when I get back from hols mid-September and I def want to tell them myself rather than it leaking out.

What do you reckon?

Firstly, there is no obligation to tell your employer before 25 weeks - so your HR department doesn't need to know until then. If you want to tell your manager in order for him to make some adjustments for things you might be struggling with, and you trust him, tell him and be very clear that you would like it kept confidential for the time being until you are a bit further along and feel more comfortable telling colleagues. Bear in mind, though, that if you suddenly stop doing things you would usually do then your colleagues might work it out anyway!

Congratulations and good luck for your pregnancy. 😊

I told my manager at 6 weeks as I felt so awful I needed sick leave and wanted to be honest. She knew I had a miscarriage last year, and I asked she didn't tell anyone else. If you have a job involving manual tasks, your workplace should be doing a risk assessment and adjusting your tasks accordingly. Remember a scan at this stage isn't a guarantee.

You don't have to tell them until you're ready but you do want them to be aware and they should be doing a risk assessment for you to make sure you're safe. Might be better that they know so you're not put in any risk for example what if they you fainted and they didn't know or if you're feeling sick and need a longer than usual break it's better that they know why. Health information you tell your manager is confidential

Thanks all.

I ended up caving and just telling him. The nausea/exhaustion is unreal plus my brain’s been going a million miles an hour which is already a challenge with ADHD 😅 SO glad I did though. Literally the first thing he said without me even having to ask was that he wasn’t going to tell anyone, not even his own partner who’s not even in the company, until I was ready. Put me right at ease. Feel I can relax a bit for a few weeks now until I’m ready to tell other people. He said he totally has my back if I need anything at all or if I end up having issues with anyone else at work which made me a tad emotional if I’m honest because he’s not usually the kind of person to say stuff like that.

I know scans at this stage are never guaranteed, there’s so much at this stage that could go wrong. But we went after work for it and they immediately were able to see and show me the heartbeat which is just… mad!! Knowing how it all happens in the first place is one thing but seeing it live on screen is something else.

You need a pregnancy risk assessment doing asap so you are going to have to tell your manager. You should tell him that he must not disclose this to anybody else. If HR do the RA you can tell them the same.
You can if course, just tell your family now so you are sure it comes from you.