What to tell my toddler ?

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I’m very early days (4w+2d) from an unexpectedly positive ivf round - following many many failed attempts.

i feel awful but I flinch every time my toddler tries to jump on me . I keep telling her to mind my tummy and she’s been absolutely lovely gently kissing it and rubbing it so I’ll feel better 🥺🥺 I don’t want to worry her but I don’t want to tell her until I know everything is ok … everyday she asks to be big sister !

How best to navigate this?

This isn't an issue with your toddler, this is health anxiety. I get that you've been through a lot to get to this stage but your toddler jumping on you cannot cause damage at this stage and would be very unlikely to even much later on. So you play with her normally, wrestle and laugh and tickle and enjoy her, and let your pregnancy develop. Good luck!

Your toddler jumping on your isn’t going to cause your baby any harm. Just carry on as normal and tell her when you feel ready

Thanks all! Unbelievably anxious about it all- just trying to remember to trust my body!

She’s a very active little human and abnormally strong and agile (last time I took her the doctor he spent the whole time telling me most of what she can do shouldn’t be physically possible whilst watching her with a look of slightly horrified shock on his face 😂) which probably isn’t helping me !

I know this isn't what you asked but I wish someone had told me this! No matter how desperate they are to be a big bro / sis they MIGHT not take the news well when you do tell them so just be mentally prepared. It is a huge shock to them that their dream is finally coming true and they don't know how to express it. My son was always on about being a big bro (age 3) but when we surprised him with future big brother t shirt and scan pic and told him he screwed everything up and went off in a huff very upset! I couldn't believe it.

They're 5 and 2 now and adore each other!

@bakewellbride and the added pressure that she definitely wants a sister (and even has a imaginary sister - although thankfully her bestie just became a big sister so her imaginary sister is pretty accurate !)

I told DS when I got my positive. He just turned 2.
Do what you feel comfortable with.
I found DS so loving and gentle after telling him. He would ask me am I ok and to be careful was so sweet. I am now days / week from having the baby and he is still just as gentle and loving.

Even if things didn't work out there is nothing wrong with them knowing i personally feel.

I had a car crash at 15 weeks at 70 mph on the motorway baby was absolutely fine. They are very well cushioned in there.

I'm wondering the same. I have a nearly 4 year old who has an imaginary brother and sister. I'm starting to struggle with sickness, I was going to wait until we have had the first scan but it feels like a long wait!

I have a 4 year old and haven't told him yet as pp said I'm expecting a negative response from him so don't think I'm going to make a big deal of it.

He's always climbing on me and i just try and protect him treading directly on my stomach area!

The other thing to consider with timings is that you are pregnant for a lonnnnng time in there world (felt infinitely long to me too 😂). So you don't want to hype them up and make too much of a deal of it as it will be ages until the baby arrives. At which point they'll probably be happy for a week and then ask when the baby is going home.

Yes, this. Pregnancy is loooong, especially from a toddler’s point of view! I held off telling DD until probably about 6 months and then it was daily questions for the next three months about when the baby was coming, why was it taking so long etc That got a bit boring 😂

Agree with others that your baby is well cushioned in there. On the other hand if you're not comfortable (physically or mentally) with your baby jumping on your tummy then you can try redirecting to say where she can jjmp/ climb. I'm 25 weeks now and have a 2 year old. I don't like him climbing over my tummy mainly because he always seems to do it when my bladder is full 😂😂.
So I just say ooooo careful of my tummy please, you can climb over my legs instead and 90% of the time he remembers that.

Thanks all!

im an independent mum by choice so it also feels super weird other people knowing before her because it’s just been us for so long ! Think it’ll be low key when I tell her (probably something along the lines of ‘mummy is starting to make you a little brother or sister’and then when things are a bit further along , I can do something a bit more exciting and concrete.

also I had absolutely no nausea with her and it doesn’t look like I’m going to be as lucky this time round so she’s going to guess somethings up!

Tell her nothing.

At the moment you are 4 1/2 weeks and have an embryo that's only just implanted. It's smaller than a poppy seed and actually also beautifully protected inside you.

When I was pregnant. I didn't tell my eldest until I was 7ish months. There's only 15 months between my 2 and even a few weeks is a lifetime for a little kid.

I litted, carried and looked after my 1 year old throughout my pregnancy. In later pregnancy I'd sometime forget I was pregnant untill I bumped myself from the sheer size of myself.

28 weeks pregnant and have a 22 month old. Told her mummy was feeling sick with the nausea kicked in but not why. Started trying to explain there was a baby in mummies tummy after the 12 week point, but only started early as she's young so its taken her awhile to get the concept that there is a baby in my tummy that's a little brother or sister, and that she will be a big sister. She still doesn't really know what it all means. I'd hold off saying anything to your toddler until at least 12 weeks, probably later if she understands more about what a sibling would mean (i.e. until you want to tell other people, because it sounds like she'd blurt it out!)

P.S. I'm jumped on / elbowed / climbed over etc etc all the time. You kind of learn to get used to it!