Confused

[CoralLion]

Hi everyone I really need some advice as I haven’t been able to share this with family and friends.

I have found out I am just over 5 weeks pregnant I am 31. In my early 20s I tried to get pregnant with an ex and it never happened for me. I was gutted and bitter at every pregnancy announcement, over the years I made peace that this was never going to be a path for me and have settled at the thought of a child free life. Anyone that ever asked me about children I simply said I didn’t like children to try and take the heat off.

moving on I am now very happily married with a brilliant husband. From day dot i told him i wasn’t interested in children as i didn’t want the trauma of trying and it not happening, i had a wall built up to protect myself. he felt the same and we have been living happily doing what we want with no ties.

i am now so confused and messed up on what to do. I can’t make my mind up on what to do, neither can my husband he is as confused as me.

we live comfortably with what we earn, to bring a new baby into our life is going to cause complete havoc and I don’t want it to come between us.

If anyone has any words of advice or comfort I will be so grateful.

Nobody can say what's best for you, but maybe think when you're old would you be happy to have had no children? One child won't destroy your life it's absolutely manageable if you work together as a team.

This doesn't seem very complicated. You say you always wanted to have a baby and only settled into the idea of not as a means of self protection after years of bitterness and trauma. Well, here you are with your original wish! Maybe you need to speak to a therapist to help pull down the walls of self protection and share your true feelings with your partner.

No reason for a baby to cause uncopeable havoc.

Hope this all works out happily for you whatever you choose.