Decided to have a third child and it’s twins

[SurpriseTwinPregnancy]

I am in complete and utter shock - I found out I was pregnant about six weeks ago. Had my 12 week scan this week and it’s twins. The shock of my LIFE.

I had no signs. It’s my third rodeo. I thought I knew what I was doing. It all felt the same as before.

Was I tired? Yes, of course! I have a 4 year old and a just turned one year old!

Was any morning sickness worse? Nope, not really! Don’t get get sickness or really even any nausea during pregnancy. I’ve had a few iffy moments but nothing bad. I know, I’m lucky.

Am I showing yet? Well, my stomach has barely recovered from carrying my two 4kg babies and I’m fat anyway so I always look pregnant. But NO I am not showing. My jeans still fit perfectly!

Twins in the family? NONE
IVF? NOPE
Old? 34 so no, not especially.

I can only laugh because otherwise I might cry. We will have three under 19 months. Plus the 4 year old (though she will be 5 by then). Is the car big enough? Nope. The house? Erm… it’ll be a squeeze. Can we afford it? Luckily yes but not without cutting back in some areas.

Anyone else been or going through the same or similar? We are delighted but also completely terrified! Would love some company and/or advice on this whirlwind.

Weirdly, you'd think medical staff would know all about the biology of identical twins but often they don't.

When the egg splits determines how many placentas, chorions, amnions. Risks increase with a later splitting egg (I.e babies sharing a placenta, not protected by their own amnion and then, rarely, conjoined twins).

Mine were MCDA (mono chorionic, diamniotic) so sharing a placenta. There were issues as one was 25% smaller than the other, which required additional monitoring.

I know someone who had identical twin boys, then tried for a third hoping for a girl and had triple boys!

Wonderful news!
My stepson and his wife were on the fence about kids. Had one after seven years married (and 14 years together). I really thought that would be it but they are expecting twins now!
You'll cope. Accept any offers of help though!

You’ve got this,OP! Congratulations! The early years will have their challenges but imagine the lovely bits xx

Hey OP, my partner and I are in a very similar situation... we have a 17mo DD, and had 2 embryos in storage. so we thought 'lets go for it' if it works it works and she can have a sibling, if not we are totally happy with our little girl.. it took a fair few attempts to get our daughter, so we weren't really expecting even a positive pregnancy test.

We found out on Friday, that we are expecting twins. My wife is currently 8 weeks pregnant (and feeling like utter shit!)

Were absolutely over the moon, and in love with their little fluttering heartbeats already. But the thought of having twins plus a 2 year old is terrifying!!

@brightandbreezey

I had a 2 year old and my second was unexpected twins at 34. They told me non ID but when born they looked so similar - DNA test and yes, identical so if they are the same sex and same blood group and look similar get a DNA test (cheek swab via the post!)
It’s great, hard, joyous, extremely stressful and amazing all at once. There was always someone crying for the first 6 months (normally the babies but sometimes me!)
Take any help you can. Be prepared to get stared at and spoken to a lot by strangers. It’s actually quite lovely and very special. Mine are all teens now so that’s…. Interesting!

Just came across this thread and wondered how you got on @SurpriseTwinPregnancy ?

What good timing @VouisLuitton our non-identical twin boys are just over two weeks old. They are perfectly healthy little things born at 37+4 after quite a straightforward induction.

I had forgotten about this thread and it’s actually quite a nice prompt because I found the pregnancy tough and it’s been an absolute rollercoaster of emotions since they arrived. Hormones are absolutely everywhere and I’m really struggling but getting a little better every day. It is very hard work but dare I say possibly a little easier than I expected. So far anyway.

Hi OP,
congrats! I did this - with a 4yr old and a 2yr old. Then when the twins were 6mths we bounced into lockdown.

Enjoy and start saving. It’s very expensive.

Congratulations.
My unexpected twin nephews born after their older dsis and db are now 33 years old.
Db and dsil found it really tough all those years ago but had lots of support.

Time flies so good luck and try to enjoy it.

Wow, that’s lovely news that the boys arrived safely and are doing well. Thanks for taking the time to update.

Love an update.

Congratulations, honestly having my four close together was the best thing, there will be tough times but it will all be worth it.

If it makes you feel better, I met someone who got pregnant with her fourth that turned out to be triplets....

This does indeed make me feel better 😂

Congratulations! 😊 My DH, now late 30’s, was an unexpected twin of MIL’s third baby - all a year apart. This was in the days before scans, so the first MIL heard of it was when the doctor examined her and said ‘there’s another one in there’! She just laughed hysterically, apparently 😁
This was right before the late 80’s financial crash, so they did find things tight at first, but MIL and FIL went on to have very successful careers and now wouldn’t have had it any other way - now with 5 grandchildren between the 4 children. Christmases are lots of fun!

Hello @SurpriseTwinPregnancy
how are you going? I’ve been reading this tread as I am 8 weeks pregnant with amour 3rd baby & today found it is twins…. I am in shock & disbelief & all the emotions. I am wondering how you are & how twin life is going?

@Jmf1122 sorry I didn’t respond straight away. How are you feeling?

I found people saying congratulations quite difficult at times because I didn’t always feel like it was positive news. In fact, I didn’t really come to terms with the fact I had four children until the twins were about six weeks old. My OP makes me laugh looking back on it as I was obviously having a good day that day, but most days I felt anxious and stressed about what was to come.

My boys are four months old now and it hasn’t been easy but it has been 100x easier than I thought it would be. I love my boys, I love the beautiful chaos of three under two.

I was a nervous wreck after my first baby which is why we waited three years before trying again. My second baby was easy but I found it hard to juggle both children and feel I was giving them my all.

By the time you have four(!) you just don’t have the headspace to sweat the small stuff. You’ve got the experience and that brings with it a bit of confidence. You can hear someone crying and not immediately panic. You can relax into parenting in a way I couldn’t dream of with my first.

I never imagined myself with four children but I have no regrets.

Feel free to PM me if you want to ask anything?

As one of four in my family it’s wonderful having lots of siblings- yes you fight growing up but I have three amazing people to lean on and support in turn. My husband is a twin and has such a lovely close friendship with his twin brother! I think you are blessed- I’m sure there will be challenges like anything but I think you’ll have a fantastic time! Congratulations!!!
:)

@SurpriseTwinPregnancy thank you for replying! It’s been a week since we found out about twins & it’s been an emotional rollercoaster but im feeling better than I did a week ago & I’m sure the mixed emotions will continue. We’ve only told a few people but reactions have been a mixture of congratulations & ‘poor you guys’ which is fair I guess. It’s really comforting to hear you’re coping well & managing. I have absolutely no doubt a big family is a major blessing & will be great in the long run, I’m scared about the journey of getting them here safely, two newborns, money and returning to work with 4 but I realise these are all later problems. Thanks so much for your positivity, it really does make me feel more optimistic & hopeful 🙏

Hi @SurpriseTwinPregnancyjust checking in to see how life is for you now? Just found out my 3rd pregnancy is indeed twins and I am beside myself with worry about it all!

I bet life is joyful for the OP, another year on.

We didn’t end up trying for a third as we thought I might be more likely to have twins. My grandma had an eleven year old, a ten year old (my mum and aunt) and then had twin boys.

The parents of a three year old I taught in my nursery class also had four month old, twins, born prematurely.
Dad was a soldier, so away on exercise, but mum came in to tell me that they were pregnant again….with twins!
I have no idea why I blurted out ‘oh my goodness, how are you going to manage in the supermarket’ 😂…

(thinking of a supermarket trolley, 5 children, four still babies and loads of shopping).

@mamatotwo98 welcome to the wild ride that is going from two to four children!

My twins are 16 months old now and it’s only become easier and easier. I even had my first night away from them this week - my husband said I should do it more often as all the kids were completely fine!

I’ll never ever forget how worried I was during the pregnancy. I won’t lie, I found the first year really tough. Newborn twins - well you know it’s not going to be easy. Then as they got older I found a routine was essential but I felt a bit trapped by it. I also just didn’t do as much as I did with my singletons - baby classes weren’t as accessible or were too expensive for two babies. Even popping to the shops felt like a huge task.

What I will say is that it has gone unbelievably quickly. I wish I’d soaked in that first year a bit more, but I found myself wishing away time as I knew it would be easier as they got older.

They are so funny at this age - albeit constantly fighting - but they have a lovely bond. They copy each other, they find each other’s comforters if they see the other one is upset, and they climb into each other’s cots in the night.

Look after yourself. It’s okay to feel worried, sad, even annoyed. I think part of me is still annoyed to this day that we had twins, but I love my boys and my family and you just find a way to make it work.

Hope everything goes well for you in the pregnancy, birth, and beyond.

Congratulations!
I had a friend who had 4 under 4, the youngest being twins. She was mega organised, but very hard up! She had some excellent labour saving ideas, eg the children’s clothes were all kept in drawers in tge kitchen diner, so they could be easily dressed and changed without having to keep running up and downstairs, and so that the laundry could be easily put away.
But there was a point when she couldn’t leave the house without another adult, as 3 were not walking at the same time. Also 3 in nappies!

34 is old pregnancy wise so probably the cause

more likely to be two eggs

@SurpriseTwinPregnancythankyou so much for this. I honestly have never needed to read anything more from someone who has been there and is doing it. I’ve told family and my mum said it’s a blessing etc etc, lovely but difficult when actually at the moment I am struggling with the whole situation. Lots of tears.

We have two who will be 2 and 5 when the babies are born so it is manageable but also I worry about the effect on their lives, how much less we will be able to do and pay for etc and my stress levels. Also they are identical and the pregnancy itself is a worry!

it’s so lovely to hear your twins are so close and overall despite the hardships you have made it this far and doing well. Well done you for getting a night away, sounds like you absolutely deserve that.

The feelings are so hard, when I first got told I went silent and just acted as if it wasn’t a thing…since then it’s all come crashing down and I want to be happy and grateful but I am also just up and down with my true feelings.

Taking each day as it comes and will ride this wave.

Thankyou so much for your reply x