So mad at husband - is this normal lol

[CaffeinatedLondoner]

I just have to vent somewhere. I'm in my first trimester, feel like rubbish, can't do anything I enjoy (drink wine, have massages, enjoy coffee) and I'm just sat staring at my husband in a state of rage lol. He's having a nice glass of wine and just enjoying his normal life. I sent him a Clue pregnancy article on the symptoms at this week of pregnancy and asked him to read it as I felt it better - and probably less angrily! - conveyed how I was feeling. I had to chase him multiple times to read it and then when he did and I asked 'what did you think' he said 'yeah. Sounds like the symptoms match up.' rolls eyes gee thanks for that...

Ah I get you!!
I absolutely hated being pregnant, I would give birth every day for a month rather than be pregnant for 9 months. I totally get where you are coming from that state of rage, it is the hormones too. Your hubby should try to be more supportive though. The time will pass and you will get your baby and then you can do all the things you love again.

Yes, I felt this. It gets easier by the second trimester as you get used to no wine and caffeine etc and you’re more in a routine. I have a drink once a week anyway as it’s just something small to look forward to even if you can’t keep indulging/get drunk. Re caffeine try getting into tea maybe :) but yeah first trimester really sucks when you’ve got 9 months of what feels like no fun stretching out in front of you. It flies by though! Xx

Oh that would piss me off. It really doesn't sound as if DH is being particularly supportive. Surely he could skip the wine for a few weeks (at least drinking whilst in your company) if he knows it is something you really miss?

Have to say DH was really supportive throughout my pregnancy and very much saw his role as looking after me whilst I grew the baby. However, I think I spent the first trimester just wanting to sleep 90% of the time, and I didn't care much for anything else. It probably gave him a bit more time to adjust.

Don't feel bad communicating what your new needs are now, but I agree with PP that the second trimester will get easier.

Oh and congratulations! :)

Yes a bit of solidarity in the form of him cutting back on those nice things would be nice!!

My Dh was like this. They don't understand. When the bump appeared he seemed to get it a bit more but still not really! He was amazing when the babies arrived though, so really that's all that mattered.

Pregnancy is tough. Speak to women who understand. The rage is normal - I bought my DH a book that he didn't read.

FWIW I definitely still had a couple of teas a day, and the odd tiny glass of wine towards the end.

Also, growing and birthing a baby is amazing, so I always feel so lucky to be a woman, and you get the lovely maternity leave - so I always feel a bit sorry for the men (contraversial opinion lol)

OMG the RAGE in my first trimester was unreal, especially at DP's audacity at drinking wine around me with dinner. My life was turned upside down the second I found out I was pregnant, here I was trying to work full time, very long hours, sick as a dog 24/7, pregnancy insomnia on top, all the health stuff, worries and appointments and he can't even not have a glass of wine????

I am happy to report my rage went away in my second trimester. I think blaming it on hormones would be too simplistic. I genuinely think it's because the first trimester is so so hard on us but the men get to carry on as normal, not much changes for them for quite some time, and that realisation hits you hard.

I wish he had abstained from drinking even just a bit.

My husband offered to stop drinking with me, and I said, “oh no, don’t worry about it, maybe just don’t drink things I like around me though?” So he switched from wine to beer (which I hate). I can confirm that that is even worse, because the smell of the beer and the sound of the slurping really set my teeth on edge! So I’ve told him to go back to wine 😂

That sounds really irritating! I'm feeling the rage so badly too, not just my partner getting it, I've had to mute myself a few times in meetings to stop myself exploding 😅

Thanks all. So pleased to hear your stories! We had a good chat about everything yesterday and I genuinely feel like we were able to communicate openly (easier to do when I wasn't in a moment of blinding rage lol). He's going to abstain from drinking for the time being and be more involved in the administrative and learning side of pregnancy – I saw him downloading a dad app yesterday and fervently reading it in bed haha.