What are your plans in terms of childcare?

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Hi all

What are you planning to do re: childcare? Nurseries and nannies are crazy expensive the annual cost would literally be almost my yearly salary.
we don’t know whether to just pay for it but then it means I will have worked the whole year just for it, or for me to stop working and look after him until he goes to school. But then it means we’ll be living on only 1 salary which is pretty tight.

I have no idea how everyone does it

it’s a nightmare, other countries are so much better in terms of childcare im actually jealous lol

(ps: I live in England)

Have you accounted for the free hours and tax free childcare?

No, I have never heard of that, what is it exactly? Im so new to all this as just found out Im pregnant with my first and I have to admit I didnt do that much research related to childcare benefits etc

I live in London (zone 2) and nursery costs can go up to 35k per year 🥲😳😳😳

I'm pregnant with DC2. DC1 is at school already (it's taken a while). DC2 will join DC1 in the nursery section of his independent school because it's easier for us logistically than using one of our local nurseries. They take kids from 6 months but DC2 will start at about 12 months because that's how long I'm on maternity leave for.
However, I work at the school and get quite a large fee reduction. It works out cheaper for us to send DC2 there than the local nursery. We'll pay about 300€/month for a full time place including food (5 days a week, 8am-6pm).
We're not in the UK, though. Our normal nurseries are similar in terms of cost for under 3s. It's much cheaper once they are 3+ (school starts at age 6 or 7).

When we started DC1 at nursery in the UK, DH and I both dropped to 4 days a week so only needed 3 days of nursery. We also had a term time only contract, which reduced the fees.

It can be more worthwhile if both you and your partner drop to part time rather than one of you stop working completely. That way you both pay less income tax and also both get to bond more with your little one.
If you don't have any family support then it's often not worth going back to work until they are 12m old if you live in the south where nursery is extortionate.
There will be some financial support for the term after your child turns 9m old so depending on what month they are due, this may help you return before 12m.

Worth looking for nurseries and childminders now, as in some city locations, the waiting lists can be over 12months long

I mean, if you give up working you lose out on career advancement/financial security, which isn't always wise as a woman. I had a friend who lived in London, she had a great job so decided to send dc to nursery and suck up the cost for several years until school age, she was left with £2 (yes, £2!!) disposable income at the end of the month due to nursery fees BUT she was able to get a return on that "investment" as she wasn't set back in her career path and soon was able to get a promotion based off of staying in the company and not doing maternity leave, which in the end, though it was a few lean years for them, it more than made up for it in the long run.

Personally I envy women who have careers they love/are well paid, I never had that so stayed as a stay at home parent which worked great for us, but obviously isn't the safe option for everyone.

How much does your DP earn? If less than £100k you’ll get tax free childcare which is up to £500 off per quarter and also 15 funded hours from 9 months from September and then 30 funded hours from next September. It will take a chunk off your childcare costs.

Things to consider:

1. assuming you have a partner, childcare is a joint cost. Don’t fall into the trap of weighing it only against your own income.
2. cost up all the options (nursery, nanny, nanny share, childminder)
3. find out about tax-free childcare (I use childcare vouchers so am not au fait with current schemes)
4. look at options for both you and your partner to cut down hours. If you each work 4 days a week with different days off that means only 3 days of childcare cost and the salary reduction may be favourable (also v v good for dads to have to do some of the grunt work)
5. do not even consider giving up your job unless you’re married (so have recourse to some of his resources if you split) AND you’ve had in-depth conversations about finances and responsibilities. It is so depressing how frequently women post on here that they gave up work because their income ‘didn’t justify’ childcare costs, and now their ‘darling’ partner has chucked them out and it’s so much harder to start from scratch after kids.

You’ll probably have a lean few years but then it gets easier (unless you have another child! I didn’t manage to, so no wise advice on that front…)

It's not just about salary, but pension, continuity in work and advancement. If you continue working, your future self will be earning a lot more than if you stop working and try to go back to work after a long break. It actually gets more complicated when they're at school and seniority, and the flexibility that comes with that, can work in your favour.

It also creates an imbalance in the relationship that you shouldn't underestimate.

While staying at home with a baby is lovely, toddlers can be very challenging.

I sympathise. We live abroad but we are moving to London soon, and we'll have a 1 year old when we do....nurseries are all 30-35k and we'll just suck it up. I'll be making too much to get any benefits and DH's entire take home pay will be just over 35k...but he's a man so no one is suggesting he give up work. He loves his career, why would he give it up?

We both work full time, grandparents help one day per week each side, nursery x3 days using tax free childcare and we are entitled to 15 free hours from September which will help massively. It works most of the time but isn’t great in times of illness in both baby and grandparents. Luckily I have an understanding workplace that judges on productivity and allows flexibility.

it’s challenging, even more so for those without additional support, but you get through it because you have to. If you do end up going down the nursery route, register asap for a place as there will be many more parents seeking places now the free hours are moving to younger ages groups

I do 0.5 hours, DH does 0.8 hours and the rest in nursery. It's good if you both make sacrifices so you both remember what being at home and what working is like.

Child minders are usually cheaper than nurseries, particularly in London. Nannies are crazy expensive and usually only viable if you are incredibly rich - think at least £40k a year in London, probably more. If you and your partner are both working, but neither of you is earning under 100k you'll qualify for help:

There's tax free childcare accounts, you pay in up to £8000 a year (it's done quarterly so £2000 every three months) and the government will top it up with £2000 (£500 a quarter) and you use that account to pay the nursery or childminder. Private nannies can't take payment with these accounts.

You'll also get 30 hours free at nursery by the time you need it. That usually means about 3 days free as usually nurseries are open 10h days. Be careful though - in London not all nurseries accept this funding so you'd need to check. It's also only available in term time weeks, what that ultimately means is if you need nursery every week of the year it works out at about 2 days free a week. You're likely to need to pay additional charges for these 'free' sessions for meals and other consumables, these normally cost about £20 a day or so.

The childcare costs in London are mental and I ultimately ended up moving out of the city as the per day nursery costs are about a third less. Even with the cost of the commute we're better off.

The best way to get your childcare cost down is to rope in family members to help out if you have any nearby.... But I'm still working on this one

My plan is to send him to the nursery full time, I don't see any other possible option

My husband and I both work full time and have both compressed our hours so we work full time over 4 days instead of 5. This means we only have 3 days that we need childcare for. Luckily, my mum can help us with one day, which means we only need to put our daughter in nursery for two days a week. It's not the cheapest, but we make use of the tax free childcare (make sure you apply for this and pay all childcare costs through your childcare account). There's no help in Wales for private nursery in Wales before the term after their 3rd birthday, in England you can claim 15 hours a week from the time they are 9 months old. I would strongly advise you pick your childcare setting ASAP as it does fill up quickly. I have just applied for the space for the baby I'm currently pregnant with for December 2025 because the nursery my daughter goes to told me they were full to September 2025. www.gov.uk/apply-free-childcare-if-youre-working#:~:text=If%20your%20child%20is%20aged,(during%20school%20term%20time).

Please seriously consider if giving up work entirely is a good idea especially if you’re not married. Our baby will go to nursery in September 2025 when hopefully the extra funded hours for 9 months old will kick in so we reckon 3 days a week will cost about £450 a month, and less with tax free children. 1 day with my mother. This website is good https://www.childcarechoices.gov.uk/
and if you’re in London you need to sign up for a nursery well before baby is born