Feeding baby formula from birth? Did you give any colostrum or straight to formula

[VioIetMoon]

Baby is currently in nicu , as i had gd and his sugars were all over place. hes a day old and I'm being pressured to give him colostrum. I had a traumatic birth and I've been severely unwell. Can't walk unaided due to dizzy spells . Yesterday I couldn't even visit my baby. I'm not really producing much and staff are very pro breastfeeding. While this was my plan originally but I haven't been feeling upto it. I'm feeling very pressured to breastfeed. I can't sit down either due to my stitches so it's difficult to try breastfeeding over there on a chair. I tried when he was born in recovery and he tried to suck but wasn't producing it .
I tried tonight he wouldn't take breast. Staff want to me to hand express and bring it over or they'll give me a pump since I dont want to come over there to do night feeds . I don't want to breast feed while in hospital. I'm finding the environment overwhelming . My question is. If you bottle feed formula only, did you do this from birth? Or did you give colostrum in first few days? Can babies not be given formula from day 1 ? They are making me feel this way and really pressuring me. His blood sugars are now stable but they won't discharge him until regular feeding has been established.

Also to add - as a NICU nurse it often feels like we can’t win. If a Mum tells us they want to breastfeed, we have to give them all of the information they need to make that as successful as possible. This includes hand expressing/pumping every 2/3 hours until baby is ready to feed from the breast directly. This would be especially important for a baby that had been having low blood sugars as feeds obviously help to regulate this!
If a Mum tells us they want to breastfeed, we can’t suggest formula under the Baby Friendly Initiative. If they change their mind and ask us to feed formula we have to make sure they are making an informed decision. So if a Mum in this position told me they wanted to give a bottle, I’d have to explain that not having much milk initially is normal etc and explain all of the benefits of colostrum.
If the story was flipped and you wanted to breastfeed but had been feeling unwell, hadn’t been able to express much or spend a lot of time with baby and they’d ask you or advised to give formula we would be critisised for not supporting a mother to breastfeed.

I’d advise you to have an open and honest conversation with the nurses and doctors today. Someone else suggested doing so on ward round which would be a great idea. Tell them you understand the benefits of colostrum but due to the circumstances you wish to formula feed. They may suggest mixed feeding, where you give bottles of formula but also give colostrum - you can decline doing this if you wish.

I did BF and I had harvested colostrum pre-birth to give to DS as I also had GD.

He had one syringe of about 0.2ml which wasn't enough so the midwife gave him a bottle of pre-made formula that id brought in while she let me get some rest (I was exhausted after a 3 day labour). It fixed his sugars right up! Of course they can have formula from birth.

If they are being that pushy, is there donor colostrum baby can have?

The process is so wrong. Some of us make a positive decision to only formula feed and should be supported by hospital staff about this. We’re perfectly capable of making an informed decision without the never ending pressure to breast feed.

I was also unwell with a baby in NICU. If you may want to breast feed later I would try to pump now. I struggled to find the time between sitting with baby and sleeping and I struggled all the way through with my supply. We ended up on mixed feeding really early and baby never took to the breast as he’d become accustomed to the bottle (which in his case was for the best as we had to monitor volume for medical reasons). That said, you absolutely can formula feed from birth, but I’d just be aware that if you don’t pump now you may struggle later (or may not, everyone’s different!).

Bless you this sounds dreadful. You need rest and care too. Honestly the way new mothers are treated and the attitude (nhs worker comment above included) make me so angry. “Not acceptable” Jesus Christ. Absolutely no way to speak to a vulnerable new mother. Anyway. Just be blunt and direct and say you will be formula feeding from now. They will judge you and make you feel like shit but take it on the chin. You need to take care of yourself to take care of your baby and for you it seems formula is the best option for everyone. Sending strength and best wishes to you, it’s a rough time x

The midwives won’t be taking her on a wheelchair. The standard of care for new mothers is absolutely abysmal and so is your choice of scolding language here. Honestly I don’t understand why people of your uncaring disposition work in the health care setting.

If you said to me after your baby’s birth you wanted to formula feed this would 100% be supported. I know mother’s are capable of making informed decisions about giving formula milk! I did so myself for my own baby, mixed feeding both formula and breast milk. I fully support a mother’s choice as the best choice for her an her baby.

It is complicated by a NICU admission. An example being, a mother wanting to breastfeed, she has always wanted this, attended antenatal classes and educated herself on it, she states this to the nurses and doctors - her wish is to breastfeed. Then, due to a NICU admission, she is sleeping on the postnatal ward away from her baby. She worries about the baby being fed and asks the NICU nurse to give formula bottles overnight. The NICU nurse asks no questions and says “yes, of course”. This continues over a few days. The mother wasn’t informed that introducing formula early on can be detrimental to breastfeeding (if wanting to exclusively breastfeed). She wasn’t informed it can affect her breast milk supply. She wasn’t told she needs to pump milk if she is not feeding baby directly in order to maintain a milk supply. A week later the mother is upset when she isn’t producing enough milk for the baby, she is upset that no one told her giving the baby formula might mean her milk supply doesn’t increase as it should.

Often, it is not pressure to breastfeed. It is wanting mother’s to understand how supplementing with formula can affect breastfeeding. If they don’t want to breastfeed, that’s fine! But if they’ve told us they want to and we try to support that by giving information it’s not fair to then say we are pressuring.

If anything, from a nurse’s perspective a baby to a mother with GD is easier to look after practically if they are formula fed! We can see how much milk they’re getting, they often feed in a more regular pattern and it’s easier to schedule blood sugar checks. So my understanding of the OP’s situation is that she is possibly misinterpreting the nurse’s wanting to support her original wish to breastfeed rather than them pressuring her.

I was on a 12 hour shift yesterday where 3 different mothers were brought into the bay I was working in by midwives and MSWs in wheelchairs.
The “not acceptable” was not scolding of the OP as much as it was descriptive of the situation. A mother a baby shouldn’t be separated for an entire day unless in very extreme circumstances.

I am wholeheartedly supportive of mothers who want to bottle feed formula. I combi fed my own baby breast and formula milk from birth. The part everyone seems to be missing is the OP initially wanted to breastfeed. The staff have been respecting that wish and encouraging her to express, which is what you need to do if you wish to breastfeed but have been separated from your baby. As I mentioned in reply to another poster, from a nurse’s perspective a baby to a mother with GD is easier to look after practically if they are formula fed! We can see how much milk they’re getting, they often feed in a more regular pattern and it’s easier to schedule blood sugar checks. So my understanding of the OP’s situation is that she is possibly misinterpreting the nurse’s wanting to support her original wish to breastfeed rather than them pressuring her.

All 4 of mine were bottlefed from the start first 5 weeks early and in scbu then twins 6 weeks early. One full term. Doesn't make any difference.

Thankyou very much for your replies. It's really helped give me some clarity that I can formula feed from birth and baby will be absolutely fine.
Nurses left me feeling that even if I chose to bottle feed him in life that I still need to be trying to produce something for him now in these first few days of life. they were really against giving formula and I had to insist last night just give him formula as I don't want to express or pump. I'd rather he's getting something than starving .
Yes I did initially want to breastfeed but It hasn't went to plan.
I never imagined id bottle feed baby. Absolutely no offence to anyone who does, its a womans choice but i personally wanted to breastfeed for a few months before switching to formula. We struggled with latching and when he does he loses interest. Nothing really came out and I know I need to stimulate milk in which case especially since im away from baby so much i can only manage short spells over there physically right now and also i find the environment too overwhelming emotionally over there. I don't feel the setting is calm and private in nicu with different staff coming over watching and intervening and other parents in room. It would probably be different in a one to one private setting with one nurse.
If I can't breastfeed , I just choose to give him formula as I tried expressing by hand I'm not comfortable physically with it. I don't like it and I made that clear to staff but one of the staff still insisted I have to do it.
its my first baby and I've no real support in the terms of close family members who've had babies ( no sisters ect) or anything to ask for advice on this , I thought you lovely mumsnetters could offer advice. Thankyou very much.

@VioIetMoon - congratulations on your baby and advocating for yourself.
My DT’s only had formula - I didn’t want to breastfeed. They are 100% perfect - healthy and happy.

@VioIetMoon I’m really sorry you’ve had such a bad experience. It is absolutely ok to want to breastfeed but to not want to express/pump and to therefore change your mind and use formula instead. I hated expressing!

No one should have insisted you express colostrum if you’d told them you didn’t want to. I had misunderstood that you’d not made your feelings clear about wanting to use formula and that the nurses were working with you telling them you wanted to breastfeed originally.

You won’t have the headspace for it right now, but when you do, possibly weeks/months down the line, please do consider feeding back to the NICU about your experience.

Wishing you and your baby a speedy recovery. By all accounts it sounds as though your baby is not far off from being discharged from NICU and will return to you on the post natal ward. You could always try breastfeeding then when, like you say, you will feel more comfortable and have more privacy, if that’s what you wanted.

Colostrum is very much needed in the first few days and then you can go to formula. I understand what everyone is saying about self-care, but colostrum is quite different from your breast milk. It is so important for them, give it a bit of a read up if you can. It's only a bit and a day or two of them getting it can make a huge difference, so I would at least try for that if you can bring yourself to. Good luck💐

Hey OP. Just for the record I’m 38+3 and I’ve tried expressing colostrum and nothing comes out. My boobs haven’t changed one bit since I’ve been pregnant. I’m getting myself into a proper state because nothing is coming out. Please don’t stress yourself

It's not really designed to come out until the baby is born so what you're experiencing is pretty much the norm. The OPs baby is in the NICU so I would imagine that the nurses are just looking to give the baby the best chance for a quick as possible discharge from NICU. Post partum is very difficult but it really doesn't seem like a "breast is best" argument, it's just about colostrum being unparalleled as medicine for a poorly baby. Additionally OP has said she doesn't want to do night feeds, this is indicating to me that some extra support may be needed.

I didn’t give mine colostrum - they were perfectly fine without it.

Wonderful. That doesn't change the fact that telling op it's of no consequence is incorrect and is doing her and the child a disservice.

Congratulations on your new baby. Was your baby born early? Maternity hospitals usually have breast milk for babies born very early pre 34/35 weeks I think. My friend's twins were born at 30 weeks and were fed donor milk from birth until 10 weeks as their mum had never breastfed. I saw the effect trying to breastfeed was having in her and I told the midwives that she will not breastfeed so no need to keep making her try. The difference in her when her husband came later was unreal, and he asked me what happened.

Breast milk is so important for the gut of early babies but you should be supported if you decide to not breastfeed. At the end of the day the goal is nourishment for baby.

If OP won't bf/ express now it is highly unlikely she will be able to rotate formula and bf later on, on her terms. There will be no breast milk.