Mental Health Support During Pregnancy

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How is it possible to get MH support during pregnancy?

For a backstory I already have SS involvement in pregnancy due to serious MH problems with first.

I am constantly told to ‘engage and reach out if you need support’ whilst it’s strongly hinted that if I ask for ‘too much’ help baby will be removed.

At only 14 weeks pregnant I have been told my unborn baby will be on a child protection plan and this if with me engaging fully and running round like a headless chicken trying to keep all professionals happy. If I admit how horrid I feel then that’s grounds for removal.

The 10+ professionals I have involved in my pregnancy is actually making it worst. Every week there’s a new person I have to explain my entire story to and a new bunch of appointments I must attend. On top of this I’m high risk physically so I feel like I don’t get a moment and it’s only going to get more intense as the pregnancy progresses.

I appreciate it’s protocol but having this much intervention is actually making me feel worst.

Just wanted to vent and any advice is welcome

Just to make it clear I had a severe mental health problem in my first pregnancy. I have no other risk factors such as drugs, alcohol, dv, criminal records, housing, financial etc.

my best friend’s sister is very sadly a hard drugs user and lost all 5 of her children. When she was recently pregnant she was treated far, far better than I have been.

I had first onset psychosis whilst pregnant and post partum psychosis after birth. Unfortunately, this was only identified when I was a couple of months post partum so I had been left extremely poorly for around 30 weeks.

When I was diagnosed my first dc has to live with his Dad as I was far too poorly for a mbu. I have co parented him for a number of years but as I’m pregnant SS have stated this is a ‘severe risk’ to first dc and have recommended I have ‘supervised contact’ with my first dc as I may become unwell again.

Whilst I understand this I am under specialist care this pregnancy and have a lot of intervention. It is almost impossible I could become as unwell as last time as I am constantly assessed at appointments and at the first signs of illness I will be medicated and obviously if I refused I could be sectioned etc.

I was the one who reached out for all of this support when I found out I was pregnant but SS seem to have come in and just taken everything next level. I have been asked questions like ‘what if you pretend you don’t have psychosis?’ which is the most ridiculous question to ask because most people could identify a floridly psychotic person or at least acknowledge they weren’t behaving ‘normally’.

It’s got to the point where I don’t even want to ‘engage’ the more I engage with services the worst it seems to get as social services just keep coming up with very random risk factors. Every single team I’m working with is extremely happy with my presentation this pregnancy and how active I have been at seeking support. The only negatives seem to come from SS who just keep putting barriers in the way.

I'm sorry I'm no expert, my need for support was different, but I was referred to the Perinatal Mental Health team. Do you have contact with them?

But why do they keep putting up barriers when all reports from other teams are 100% positive?

It’s not like I’m a drug user who is choosing to use heroin over her baby? I unfortunately had post partum psychosis and it was unavoidable, similar to a lady who gets really severe pre-eclampsia?

This time I am under the relevant teams and have the support I need if I was to become unwell? I struggle to understand how this warrants things like ‘child protection’ surely that should be for women who genuinely don’t care?

Yes. I have a mental health midwife and also a specialist perinatal mental health nurse plus a specialist psychiatrist all from the same team.

All reports are exceptional? Yet SS seem to think they have a better understanding of maternal mental health than a psychiatrist of over 30 years?!

What do you mean by barriers? Barriers to what?

Their reasons aren’t based on fact though. Agencies shouldn’t be able to just come in and ruin someone’s private life for undisclosed reasons?

The fact is I was so poorly for over 6 months. My family begged for help, they even went to social services and asked for help as they could tell I was poorly. It was only by chance an experienced doctor at A&E finally noticed what was going on.

SS shut my friends and family down when they asked for support in my first pregnancy so why should I engage with an agency who didn’t care but now suddenly wants to get involved and place my unborn child on a plan for no other reason than ‘it might happen again, probably won’t but might’

It should be down to qualified mental health professionals to make decisions around my health not some silly social worker who doesn’t have a clue!

I have co-parented my son for several years. Now I am pregnant and SS were informed (I actually rang them as I thought they might be). Instead of supporting me they have said I can’t see my child ‘unsupervised’ for the duration of my pregnancy as I ‘might get unwell’ … This is despite all reports being 100% positive and me having no illness since my last pregnancy.

I have also been told my child is pretty much going to be placed on a child protection plan for no other reason than my mental health issues in my previous pregnancy? For me this is extremely concerning as I genuinely don’t know whether they’re going to attempt to remove my child at birth now.

I am constantly asked ‘what if you’re lying and you’re actually psychotic right now’ which is absolutely ridiculous. I hardly thing a pregnant woman could hide severe psychosis from 2 psychiatrists and a several mental health nurses.

What do you feel like you’re missing at the moment in terms of support?

Can any of the professionals involved with you support you through navigating social work?

Do you have a local branch of Home Start? Might be worth seeing if you can self refer early so that you have a volunteer in place prior to the birth to give more support straight afterwards. Our coordinators attend child protection meetings if there is social work involvement to give input so if everything is ok, that would be another voice advocating for you

I also had postpartum psychosis, my first suicide attempt was whilst dc1 was in NICU and I ended up under a psychiatrist until he was 6 (and his sibling was 3). I was absolutely fine after dc2 was born so hopefully you'll be the same.

It sounds like you’ve been through a really tough time OP and it must be awful being so closely monitored. Have you got a good support network? Friends, family, partner? Are you working, in a stable fulfilling job etc? It’s hard to get a picture of what your life is like now, and whether it’s a different context from last time, for example.

It does sound like they are just being extra cautious after what happened last time. Even from what you’ve written, which is your side of the story and you clearly think them unreasonable, it doesn’t seem that unreasonable. Of course SS is horribly intrusive. Of course it’s horrible being mistrusted and condescended to. But if you’ve had a psychotic episode in a past pregnancy clearly there will be concern for you and baby right now. If you’re fine, surely that will be evident and things will go smoothly - I hope so! 💐

I don’t have a partner but both my children have the same Dad, so I know he’s a very good father and will care for new baby as much as our first dc.

I do have a job but I’m never there as I have at least 3 appts a week that are always on different days and in different parts of the city.

At this stage I genuinely do feel as if they’re just going to remove at birth. I am absolutely drained and I cannot take another meeting discussing my mental health.

I honestly feel ladies who have physical health problems aren’t looked down on for choosing to have a second child and are supported, whereas the first thing SS said to me was ‘you do realise you’re probably going to get psychosis again?’ with a screwed up face…

This sounds very stressful, and SS don’t sound like they phrase things very helpfully.

Are your concerns that they’re going to remove your new baby at birth based on anything they’ve said, or your knowledge of similar situations? Or is it just a fear because of last time and how hands on they’re being? Surely you could talk this through with them and get them to lay out all the processes and a range of possible outcomes? If you are fine surely the outcome will be you coparent both your children as your coparenting your first now?

I think SS can’t win because they are by nature intrusive which pisses people off, but they also get a very hard time when babies on their radar die.

Your situation sounds unusual too - not with the dad, but coparenting, and also having a second child with him? Was this pregnancy planned? Does he have any concerns about your health because of last time? Sorry to pry but it’s all quite unusual and I guess SS will be taking the whole environment into account.

edited to remove typo

OP you've been on here before and you were talking about leaving the country and many people were concerned about your MH. The problem is that people with MH issues often don't/don't always recognise when they are becoming ill again. The risk of having postnatal psychosis again is extremely high - 1 in 2.

It must be exhausting I'm sure going to these appointments, but of course having a newborn baby is much more exhausting. SS are worried about your baby, perhaps try to look at it from that point of view, rather than that they are against you.

It is unusual. We were together but he chose to leave me when I found out I was pregnant. To be honest, this has been for the best as since SS have found out I was pregnant they have advised for me only to have ‘supervised contact’ with my first dc as in their opinion me being pregnant poses as a severe risk to dc. This would have meant I would have had to move out anyway. Although that advice hasn’t been extended to further family so I am fine to look after my niece/nephew apparently…

The way I see it is their already saying a minimum of child protection plan at 14 weeks pregnant and this is even with very positive reports from around 5-6 professionals, 2 of which I’ve worked with for over 2 years. I haven’t had a negative report from any professional so far.

They have strongly advised for me to only see first dc supervised after me looking after him as a normal mum for 2 years. If I can’t look after a young child in their eyes they’re certainly not going to allow me to bring a newborn home from the hospital are they?

That’s my logic anyway

I have posted on here before but not about leaving the country? I am slightly confused?

If I was very unwell then the 2 psychiatrists involved in my care that I see every week due to pregnancy would notice. I do not see how anyone could argue with the opinion of not one but two highly qualified professionals with in excess of 50 year’s experience between them?

I would also add that the risk of post partum psychosis is only ‘1 in 2’ if someone is untreated.

I am heavily involved with services (even if I don’t want to be) and if I was to become unwell there’s at least 2 medications my team know I can take and know works quickly. If SS are THAT concerned I could even have medication injections and therefore no risk of me not taking the medication.

My point is everything I come up with the just push aside and it comes back to ‘but it’s happened before’. They have zero understanding of managing risks, it’s all just ‘what if, what if’.

If the way they think stands it means any woman who’s been involved with secondary mental health services should not be allowed to keep a child? A person who’s done drugs once should not keep a child? Or a woman who’s been involved in a dv relationship but is rehabilitated should not be allowed to keep a child?

They shouldn’t be able to remove a child ‘just in case’ it’s absolutely ridiculous

If your partner has left you because you’re pregnant again OP, that sounds tough. Was he worried about another pregnancy and its possible impact on you?

You do seem to be picking at things and being a bit obtuse about the whole situation: the psychiatrists say you’re fine… but surely they are monitoring you to see your progress, and will continue to inform the actions of SS? It’s clearly not a case of “I’m fine just leave me alone” because you yourself say you need treatment. But you’re unhappy with the level of intervention you’re getting, is that it? To me from what you’ve written their involvement seems entirely logical, and they’d be slated if they did not monitor the situation.

It also seems really unhelpful to get stressed speculating about what could happen. Things could clearly progress in a variety of ways with a variety of outcomes - that’s life. Just have a frank conversation with SS about all possible avenues and outcomes. They will surely want to help you to feel secure and informed. They clearly don’t want you to be unwell and unable to look after your child - they are just planning for every eventuality given last time.

Hi I had severe depression and psychosis with my first. I was under the perinatal team from pregnancy but it still took 2 months for the psychosis to be noticed.

In my time in the mother and baby unit I saw a few women with ss involvement although I didn't have any myself. It seemed to be such a knife edge situation for all of them. Involvement needed just incase things went wrong but often the stress of their involvement had impact of their mental health.

I'm pregnant again, and the plan for has been to see my consultant every 2 months whilst TTC and the start of pregnancy and then move over to the perinatal team around 20 weeks and I can stay under them until baby is too. I will also qualify for extra support from my HV and I have recently had counselling with her to help me process and deal with the first year of my daughter's life when I was mentally unwell and she was unwell too. This bit was made very difficult in the mbu when one of the registrars got it into her head that i was making up my daughters illnesses for attention whilst my consultant was on annual leave. My daughter had been medicated having seen 2 paediatricians. It was bloody hard work standing up for myself whilst being very unwell myself. The ward psychologist commended me on how I handled it and my op psychologist who was attending the ward round made a complaint. Unfortunately there are people around that have distorted views on the mentally unwell and make our lives harder. I'm educated and well spoken and it shouldn't make a difference but unfortunately it often does especially when I can counter their Dr title with my own.
I'm sorry I don't have any advice other than I know it's so difficult and keep talking

OP you posted about this last week and received very good advice then, you will not be punished by SS for reaching out for support with your physical or mental health during pregnancy. The threshold for removing a baby at birth is extremely high, this would never be done just because you have asked for support with your mental health, so you do not need to worry about that.

What you have to understand is that SS primarily are looking at protecting children, anything that could pose a threat or harm to a child is something they have to think about. It’s not a personal insult to you, it’s simply them carrying out their duty of care towards your child/ren and that can only be a good thing.

Please reach out for any support you feel you need x

It all sounds really tough.

I think the main point I can see through all of this, is that social services main priority is the kids - and that may feel like it’s offending you or not reflecting the progress you have made.

I think just saying well if it happens again I can be medicated, isn’t a viable plan for pregnancy or post partum. They need to monitor and see how things go.