Sorry about the long post. my head is all over the place!
Looking for some advice, I have been with my partner for 8 years now, I’ve just found out I am pregnant. I was on contraception but came off in February as it was causing a lot of health problems for me. My partner knew this and agreed it was the best option for me and we would use alternative options.
We did use condoms but a couple of times he chose not to.
I had told him about 2 years prior to this I would like to have a baby, he said he was not ready then. (I was fine with that)
I have a son from a previous relationship. Who was 4 when we got together, he works away with an agency so wasn’t always there and he can be selfish and likes his own time (he admits this) he hasn’t agreed on some things in the way my son has been raised as he says he should have been left to his on resources from a lot younger (I disagree) ie walking to school, going out on his own, small things like that, he thinks he should of done it from 5 years old, I think that’s too young.
I should also add the father of my son has never been in the picture we were young, and I left it open for him to decide what he wanted to do. He left, hasn’t paid maintenance or anything, I never forced any situation.
My boyfriend is adamant that he wants me to have an abortion, as he doesn’t want a baby, he also feels it would ruin his life being restricted among other things.
I understand in a way what he is saying and how finances aren’t the best and we only live in a two bedroom house.
I also had an abortion 10 years ago that was not entirely my choice, it was the right decision then but it is still very hard to deal with. He knows this. I also expressed how I do not want to have to go through all of that again he doesn’t seem to understand the process and how emotional it is. He has no regard for how I am feeling.
I have an appointment this week to go over things first and he is not coming as he has to go back to work. I don’t feel he has supported me in anyway since finding out but he says he will be there to support me after the abortion. (If I have one).
He said he will support me through the process but does not want me to go ahead with the pregnancy, but has said if I do he will not walk away since it’s his child but he keeps saying it will be horrible as he will want it raised one way and we will argue all the time, he has also said how it would end up in court and be a crap situation.
I understand he has a lot of emotions and maybe doesn’t know how he exactly feels but I don’t know what to do.
We do have a good relationship but at times we do argue, it’s usually very little things or most of it is because how I feel towards something he did or said which he thinks I’m wrong for reacting that way but some are bigger and he can give me the silent treatment until ‘I come to my sense’ (his words).
Anyway advice would be helpful!