Elective c section due to child abuse, trauma and depression

[AnnahJ]

Hi all, I am not sure if anyone can help me, but if you have spare time to read this and answer then I would be very grateful for any kind of help.
I am 36 and always had a big fear of childbirth and having children in particular. I was abused as a toddler (I remember sexual activity while I was 3 altho I don't remember who was the abuser. I was also abused by my grandfather who was making sexual comments towards me when I was age 7 and also was touching me and kissing me. I nerver told anyone about this until I was 30 and started a therapy. I never wanted kids due to my fear of something happening to them and a natural birth was also not an option. I just didn't want to be pregnant at all. At age 30 I met my partner and I really wanted to have kids with him. He is making me safe and I trust him, unlike my previous partners. I am currently 24 weeks pregnant and I don't want to have natural birth. I told my midwife this and she said she will request someone to speak to me. So I got a letter from maternity and neonatal psychological interventions team. I don't know if it's about my request for c section, but I just made the appointment.
I just don't want them to try to convince me to have natural birth. I can't have my legs spread and push a human out of my vagina while doctors are watching me. I don't want to push. It's not only a fear of birth it's my fear of another trauma. I had therapy (I had to pay for it) to help me with my child abuse, but didn't really fixed the problem of me not wanting to birth. I barley manage to overcome depression and manage my borderline disorder (all due to abuse and trauma) and I don't know if my case is "strong enough" to request elective c section? I am sorry for such long read. I honestly don't know who to talk to

I am sorry all that happened to you.
Firstly dont panic.

Everyone has go to through the same process.
They do as standard have you meet with a couple of consultants just to ensure you give informed consent and know all the risks.

i just said i understood it was major surgery, i didnt want a vaginal birth and my informed choice was ELCS.
It wasnt a problem AT ALL, i had no push back.

Good luck and stay calm. Bring someone with you if you can.

Sorry you’ve been through all of that, I had an ELCS in December and said to my consultant at 16 weeks (saw them for another reason) and she gave me the c section info pack with risks etc to read. I came back and said yep still want it and she talked me through everything in the pack to make sure I understood it. She did ask why I wanted it and was fine when I said anxiety around vaginal births and how they can go and prefer the controlled environment of a c section and she was just like yep fine and signed it off and didn’t to matter my reasons just that I had a reason if that makes sense. I expected to have to push for one but I really didn’t, any midwife or consultant I told I wanted a c section was totally fine with it and no one tried to dissuade me, I hope you have the same experience as me.

You don't need to make a 'case' or divulge any information you aren't comfortable with. You just say you want a c-section. They might give you risks/facts/statistics but you can just say you understand and want a c-section. Thats it.

I'm so sorry for what you went through. I wish you all the best.

I’m so sorry to hear about what you’ve been through and really glad that you sound like you’re with a lovely partner and have a baby on the way which is great!

I have an immense fear of childbirth and I now have a 6 month old who arrived via Planned C section and it was honestly the best decision I ever made. You shouldn’t get any pushback and you have every right to make that decision seeing as it’s your body and your baby!

best of luck, take care!

You sound very strong OP. I’m sorry for what you went through. Congratulations on your pregnancy and all the best for the birth you want and deserve

Congratulations on your pregnancy! I know people who requested elective c section for various reasons even just being freaked out by natural birth and it was given to them no problem. I hope confirming your choice will lead to continuous path to your healing.

This. You don’t need to justify yourself. NICE guidelines say you can request one. I did and got one. I don’t think my consultant was super thrilled but there you go -my body and my pregnancy

Sorry you’ve been through all of this. I can hear how frantic with worry you are over all of this. It will be okay. I have had two C-sections due to a huge fear of a vaginal birth. I was firm with them and refused to go on the hypnobirthing course I was offered. I think they thought that was going to suddenly change my mind. I just continually repeated that no other birth was an option to me. When I didn’t hear back about the consultant appointment I messaged my midwife then ended up crying when I saw her saying how it had been keeping me up at night worrying about it. I don’t think anyone else understands the panic that there is a baby inside your body and you need to know what is happening!

Write all of your reasons down in bullet points so that no one can talk you down. Your decision is made. Based on the NICE guidelines you really shouldn’t have to fight for a csection these days. Hope you get it sorted out soon

Not to frighten you but to prepare

With my first csection I had a haemorrhage and the safest way to repair was actually through my vagina so after my csection I was awake on the table being able to feel them repair me internally through my vagina

A csection might mot be everything you are expecting. Unless you are put to sleep you will still have people touching your body a lot including things like putting in the spinal

A history of sexual abuse is common in women who request ELCS for a first pregnancy. Yes you have a legitimate reason to request an ELCS. Tokophobia is a recognised medical issue.

The process should involve giving you extra mental health support. This is really important to you.

You need to also be aware of the process of a CS though. There is always the risk you will go into labour or something else will go wrong. There are no absolute guarantees with a request that has been granted. Complications are still possible. You will need a catheter too which you may find the prospect of, distressing in its own right.

Talk it through with a midwife. You aren't the first in this situation.

Sorry for what you've been through, unfortunately it's really common a reason to ask for a csection (I'm an anaesthetist for labour ward), it's not an issue you won't be tried to be convinced otherwise, your midwife will refer you when hit a certain number of weeks

Perinatal MH referrals are super common and just extra help for anyone that may potentially struggle

Best of luck you'll be fine x

She will still get a section even if labours before her date ( unless arrives fully dilated and baby is very unhappy and needs go get out instantly but this is super rare). Normally would just become a cat2 urgent section that the oncall team does

Catheters can go in once totally numb from the spinal. You could potentially request it comes out at the end of surgery whilst still numb, providing accept the risk that if went into retention it would need to be reinserted when no longer numb (retention is way less common in women